shoes on the other foot
By keepnclassy
1/14/2015 8:12:14 AM
I got a weird text from a strange email wanting me to text them back. I thought it was a scam so I just left it alone. Few days later husband was looking at my texts and another fishy text came. Asking for naked Pictures and they would send me naughty ones back. He was pretending to be mad...I got mad at a comment he said so I went upstairs cause I wasn't going to listen any more.
In the middle of the Night he told me he couldn't sleep and he just kept thinking about my reaction...he said everything I had thought and felt
not sure why this happened. If both or one of us is suppose to learn a lesson. Seems ironic.


Gaslighting or guilty conscious?    
"Do you know what gaslighting is? If you google it then that could explain it better than I can, but it is basically when someone tries to convince you that you are the one with a problem or that you are insane for believing something you know to be true.

Either that or when we are guilty of something it is easy to see symptoms of it in other people. Example: I am always annoyed when people are insufferable know-it-alls. Ya, hello kettle...I am the pot. LOL

Maybe you hubby is subconsciously trying one of these tactics. But....

His hurts feelings and concerns are real and you will want to respond to him the way that you would want him to respond when you bring a concern to him. Golden rule all the way. Talk to him. Let him express exactly what he is feeling and ask him searching questions. Ask him, "What can I do for you to help you feel better?" Speak your truth but don't try and undermine his. Let him know that it was just spam but then invite him to search it out for himself on your computer. "Babe, this was one of those stupid emails that just happen and I ignored it. But I understand why this would be so upsetting. Please come and sit down with me and my computer and lets go through it together until you feel comfortable." You can repeat back to him things like, "I hear you telling me that finding those things on my computer made you feel betrayed and fearful. Is that right?" If he knows you aren't afraid to confront things with him it will help him feel loved and trusting.

My .02. Hope it helps. "
posted at 09:49:03 on January 14, 2015 by maddy
"I treated him the way that I wanted to be treated when I found the things that I did. Even in the middle of the night after he hadnt appologized for what he said.i was still very loving and reassuring. I actually showed him the first text. I have nothing to hide."
posted at 11:29:00 on January 14, 2015 by keepnclassy

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