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Moments away
By SeminaryKid
12/29/2014 1:54:01 PM
I've been really clean for a little over a week now, with almost no temptation. However, just a few minutes ago I sat down on my bed and grabbed my laptop to watch a movie or something and I was hit with a brutal temptation from Satan. I mistakenly thought, "If I act out now, I can just start over tomorrow." and I feel like I really almost did. I feel as though I was literally moments away. And that scares me.
I didn't act out, I acted quickly as soon as I recognized where my mind was going, and started listening to a gospel album and thinking about my motivations for getting clean, but I worry it wasn't quick enough. I mean I didn't do the sin, but I feel badly that I almost did. I wasn't valiant or heroic, as I hope to become.
Does anyone out there have any words of comfort? I should take solace in the fact that a week ago, when I got that thought I would have gone for it. This time, though I got close, I abandoned ship just in time. That truly is a victory. I suppose it will get better as time goes on. I was just looking for someone out there to offer a little hope.
I love you all. God be with you.

Comments:

?    
"How were you not valiant or heroic? I don't think it's healthy to tell yourself those things. In victory OR failure. The men and woman - and they are just men and woman - we look up to as "valiant and heroic" may be less so then ourselves. We know no more about the conditions that bare upon their perceived heroism than do the snow birds in the field. And for that matter we understand little about our own conditions that bare upon our supposed lack of heroism. You are normal. From where I stand there's nothing wrong with you and you didn't act on an impulse. Good job."
posted at 14:43:39 on December 29, 2014 by they_speak
Win    
"Ummmm, SeminaryKid.....you got tempted. And. You. Didn't. Give. In.

There is nothing wrong with getting tempted. Jesus was tempted. You rocked this one. AND best of all you have an awesome humble attitude! Sometimes you win a temptation and get all cocky and full of yourself, thinking "I did it!" after a big temptation. (Really we should always give credit and praise to God.) But you aren't tooting your own horn. It scared you. And while I think you gotta feel the joy of this moment you also have to learn the lesson. I think you are doing that.

You are a rockstar and thank you for sharing!!!"
posted at 21:07:35 on December 29, 2014 by maddy
your awesome    
"Good job!!"
posted at 21:38:38 on December 29, 2014 by Anonymous
Thanks Guys    
"I guess what I was expecting by this point was that when i was tempted, which I know i will never be able to avoid, as a human, I would immediately dismiss it. I was just scared because briefly I entertained the thought. I know that through prayer and fasting I will get stronger and better, and it isn't healthy to demand perfection at this point. Thank you so much for your support! Youre te best! God be with all of you!"
posted at 23:41:43 on December 29, 2014 by SeminaryKid


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"As Latter-day Saints, we need not look like the world. We need not entertain like the world. Our personal habits should be different. Our recreation should be different. Our concern for family will be different. As we establish this distinctiveness firmly in our life’s pattern, the blessings of heaven await to assist us."

— Robert D. Hales

"Gifts of the Spirit" Ensign, Feb. 2002