I'm mad
By keepnclassy
12/18/2014 10:04:50 PM
Why wont he man up and tell me the truth. Hes so good at convinsing me he doesn't look at p@rn. But all the signs point to yes he does. After he quits talking.
He was home alone when the last incident was time stamped. And a magical elf unblocked the router. What a quincedence. How convenient for you!
#1 sign of a liar is "your crazy, this isnt happening"

Put on your big boy panties and MAN UP!!!

Lately when I look at a man I think your just the same rotten, lying sleeze ball as the rest. Couples I think wait til she finds out . I am judging every male stranger or not. Its not right but thats how I feel. I hope one day my mind will be shifted and I can see good in the world again but its not today.

I hate my husband right now! Hind sight is 20/20 if only I could start over again.

He said it upsets him when I say I dont have a best friend. Why would I consider him my best friend, if a friend at all...when he asks if I'd marry him again .... no!!!


We hear you    
"Vent on sweet Classy. We'll all be a safe place for you to say what you need to say. We understand the pain and the regret and the anger and distrust.

We hear you. And we are here for you."
posted at 06:41:52 on December 19, 2014 by maddy
Praying for you    
"i, as well as others I'm sure, pray for the people on this board. This site provides a great amount of anonymity, but when I pray for keepnclassy, the Lord knows who I'm praying for. There will be a wide range of emotions you'll experience because of your husband's betrayal. You are entitled to feel anger and rage. As you put your trust and faith in the Savior, you can be assured that you will be stronger, at the other end of this painful ordeal.

In the meantime, we'll listen to you, provide encouragement for you, help you understand that you're not alone, and be there to help pick you up as best we can when needed. Heavenly Father is aware of you. He loves you. You will make it through this.

Writing will help you. As a teenager I used to write some pretty dark poetry. The experience was very cathartic for me. I had all of these painful and negative emotions swirling around inside me. Writing was my way to let those emotions out. Keep writing. I'm well past my teenage years and writing still helps me. Within the last six months I wrote a very long letter to my brother. It started off full of anger and resentment for things that happened to me many years ago. I never mailed the letter to him, that wasn't necessary. The letter was my way to address painful memories, confront them, and ultimately let them go. It took me a while to get to the point where I was ready to let them go, but I'm stronger for the experience.

Continue to write, and we'll continue to read."
posted at 07:18:29 on December 19, 2014 by DANO42
"Angry folk are my favorite people on here. They seem the most honest :)"
posted at 09:20:42 on December 19, 2014 by they_speak
"I've been thinking about this all day now. (Hey Speak! I miss you bro. Funny you gave the shout out to honesty because that is what's on my mind)

One of the things I love about this site is how we learn from each other even in our pain. So if I can be so bold to say something that has struck me about Classy that resonates with my own experience:

Correct me if I am wrong Classy, but if you read carefully the words you've written here and on your other posts, it becomes clear that the thing that is hurting you the MOST is not the pornography. You bravely said in your FIRST post that we all make mistakes and you want to help work through that....

The thing that is the hardest is the dishonesty. If there is anyone out there listening to this that is struggling whether or not to tell your spouse the truth, let me just say it again: It is the dishonesty that destroys. Please, do not lie. That is what is the very worst part of all of this. Own up. Speak truth. Addiction hurts but lies are poison."
posted at 10:00:51 on December 19, 2014 by maddy
Honesty - Yes!    
"I hid my porn struggles from my wife for over 15 years. I finally ended up confessing everything to my wife after I couldn't take the pain and guilt anymore, and I knew I needed help.

Somehow I thought it might soften the blow if I was able to tell my wife that it had been several months since my last slip up. When I confessed, I had been about 3 months sober, and I thought that was pretty good. It turns out that the amount of time since my last slip up was totally irrelevant to my wife. Same goes for the frequency of my past slip ups, or even the whole idea of looking at porn in the first place. To my wife, the worst part of it all was that I wasn't honest with her, and that I kept this a secret for most of our marriage.

For what it's worth, my relationship with my wife is so much better now than it was for several years prior to my confession and commitment to honesty. Yes, I broke my wife's heart, but she was loving and supportive of me anyways, even though I didn't deserve it. I know not every story works out that way, but I offer it as one example that there is hope of picking up the pieces together and moving forward with the Savior's help.

I totally agree with Maddy. If there is anyone reading this that is considering whether or not to tell your wife, TELL HER! Don't believe the lie that you need to "spare her from the heartache" or whatever lies you are telling yourself. You can't beat pornography addiction while you are in your own personal secret combination with Satan. Be honest first and foremost."
posted at 19:07:16 on December 19, 2014 by rmww

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