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The Tea Kettle's Whistling...
By SeminaryKid
11/21/2014 11:34:27 AM
Hey everybody!
I have a question I’ve been wondering about for a little while now. ¬¬It might sound like I’m trying to justify sin or something, but that is not my intention. I simply want to understand. I feel like this website is a place where we can speak plainly, without fear of judgment.
I am 18 years old, and I’m a man. So, naturally, I have masturbated since I was a young kid, and I’ve been kind of hooked on porn since then as well. I’ve been working on solving the problem for several years now, and while I still struggle with these things, I believe I have definitely made progress.
My question to you is, if we are told not to masturbate, not to have unclean thoughts, and the like, how can we avoid repressing all of the sexual tension and feelings that we have as human males? God meant for us to feel this way, but we are not meant to feel it in the slightest until we’re married. I just don’t think it’s healthy to keep all of that repressed for so many years. So if we cant masturbate or fantasize, how do we not just explode?
I don’t know if this is a stupid question or not. It’s just something I’ve been wondering. I am not out to hear someone tell me its okay to masturbate. I just want to know how to not go insane. Please help me, and young human males everywhere. We all feel and think these things all the time. And we’re told to act like we don’t. I don’t know how that’s healthy.
Help.
SeminaryKid

Comments:

That's a Great Question    
"It feels like you will explode if you don't release sexual tension.

But you won't.

The truth is, the only reason you FEEL you need to release sexual tension is because you have trained your body and mind to expect sexual release whenever you experience negative or stressful thoughts and emotions. For the past many years, whenever you have begun to feel hungry, angry, lonely, tired, bored, lazy, stressed, or any one of several other negative emotions, you have gravitated towards your go-to drug of choice: pornography and masturbation. And, you know what? It has worked every time. You have instantly received a rush of adrenaline, serotonin, dopamine, and several other chemicals that have made you feel really good, helping you eliminate the negative emotions you were struggling to cope with.

Basically, you have trained yourself that whenever life gets tough, you crave sexual release. That's how you have learned to cope with life.

And that is one way to cope. But it's not a very healthy way to cope with your negative emotions and thoughts. One problem with it is that it doesn't eliminate the TRUE reasons you were feeling bad...and it only compounds the issue, since guilt makes you immediately feel WORSE after you complete the deed. Of course, if you feel worse, it's only a matter of time until you act out again in order to cope with all the new negative emotions you are having.

UNLESS you can learn to deal with the negative emotions in a healthy way. For example, if you feel hungry, you could cope by looking at porn or by getting angry with your family, OR you could just go get some healthy foods and learn to eat before you get that hungry. If you feel tired, you could cope by masturbating or by watching worthless garbage on TV, OR you could just take a nap and learn to go to bed early and get up early. If you feel angry, you could cope by overeating or yelling at someone, OR you could learn to meditate and dissipate the negative emotions you are having.

In short, what I'm saying is that you feel like you are going to explode if you don't have sexual release only because you have not learned how to release your stresses, tensions, and negative emotions in other, healthier ways. It's time to learn to exercise better, eat better, sleep better, meditate, take walks, and engage in creative, productive hobbies. It's time to set productive goals, visualize yourself achieving them, and then focus most of your time on accomplishing your dreams and desires.

If you can learn to deal with your daily negative emotions and focus your energy on accomplishing your worthwhile goals, you will no longer feel like you are going to explode if you don't get sexual release. You will feel amazing, and you will accomplish more in a year than most people do in a decade. I know from experience.

Check out http://www.curethecraving.com and sign up for Tony Litster's free program. It helped me."
posted at 13:45:47 on November 21, 2014 by BeClean
My Experience    
"I'm a male in my mid/late 20s. The longest I've ever gone since puberty without an orgasm was 6 months. I've gone a mission, graduated from a church university, and recently got married in the temple.

How did I do it? I just started masturbating and stopped confessing it and making a big deal out of it. Life needs to move forward. Certain things are expected of us as members. We need to just do our part and stop stressing and fixating on things that don't matter. It took a therapist at byu to help me see this. His point was, if the brethren are not making a big deal of masturbation, neither should i. Honestly, the best advice ever. My life really came together after that.

Regarding exploding, beclean is right, you won't explode. But you could end up with an infection. That happened to me when I went my longest without release. I noticed very sharp pains when I sat down or stood up and burning during urination. I visited the urologist, and he said my prostate had been stagnant so long that the fluid got infected. He recommended that I release those fluids at least once each week.

In my specific case, I never have wet dreams, and I don't ejaculate easily. I make absolutely no pre-ejaculate fluid, but I make tons of fluid during an orgasm. I can't speak for all men, but for me and my circumstances, masturbation is a necessary part of being healthy.

Since I started masturbating more frequently, the rest of my addiction disappeared. No more porn, no more innapropriate sexual behavior with others, it all just stopped. My theory is that all of my repressing and "recovery" from masturbating just made me worse.

As they say, take what you like and leave the rest."
posted at 00:18:50 on November 24, 2014 by ETTE
What's Right for You    
"One of the beauties of the gospel is that it is broad enough where it applies to everybody. Another equally important beauty is that it is tailored to our specific needs. You should pray and find out what God wants from you.

Let me point out a couple points where you are wrong. Women feel intense sexual needs just as you do (they just don't talk about them nor do they tell men). The only reason why we think guys have stronger inclinations is because society teaches us to be that way! In the Roman and Shakespearean times, women were considered to be more sexual! And you said we're not meant to feel this until we get married. That's wrong. A fundamental part in this life is our fight with the natural man. My addiction to pornography has made me a much stronger person. It's okay to feel these urges. You shouldn't indulge in them though.

God created us as sexual beings (thank goodness or we would have no desire to have children) and there are lots of things we can do to decrease the amount of sexual tension and frustration in our lives. For me, working out and getting enough rest is a huge one. There is a psychological principle called sublimation where you channel what would have been sexual energy into working out (this is one of the reasons people in prisons are so ripped). My advice would be to find an activity you enjoy (personally I love rock climbing, hiking, and running). I feel much more emotionally put together and spiritually strong after working out."
posted at 14:25:19 on November 30, 2014 by Anonymous
Basic Question about the site    
"How do I post something on my own blog on this website?? Because I want to share my story so I can maybe receive some help from all these people striving to recover from addictions.
Thanks!"
posted at 10:25:04 on December 9, 2014 by Anonymous
Basic Question about the site    
"How do I post something on my own blog on this website?? Because I want to share my story so I can maybe receive some help from all these people striving to recover from addictions.
Thanks!"
posted at 10:25:04 on December 9, 2014 by SallyL
Blog    
"Sally,
From the home page (ldsar.org) look on the left of the page, half way down. You'll see a large red button that says BLOG. Just click there and you'll be on your way."
posted at 11:30:47 on December 10, 2014 by changeup


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"I need not define your specific problem to help you overcome it. It doesn’t matter what it is. If it violates the commandments of the Lord, it comes from Satan, and the Lord can overcome all of Satan’s influence through your application of righteous principles. Please understand that the way back is not as hard as it seems to you now. Satan wants you to think that it is impossible. That is not true. The Savior gave His life so that you can completely overcome the challenges you face. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990