Print
Lost my virginity in high school, help
By SeminaryKid
11/9/2014 3:49:27 PM
I am going to try my best to put my thoughts down in a way that I can be understood.
I was born and raised in the church, and so was my high school girlfriend. When we were seniors, however, we shared an angst for the church that a lot of teenagers feel. We wanted to rebel and decided that the best way for us to do that was through a physical sexual relationship. We lost our virginity together, and made that mistake a few more times over the following months. That was a little over a year ago. Over the last 12 months, my girlfriend and I broke up, and she moved away. But I got myself into a battle over my faith that lasted the entire year, in order to justify my behavior. It got to a point where I don't even feel the spirit anymore, I don't have a testimony.
I have been meeting with bishops, as we all do, but I never told them about this. at first it was because I didn't care. Like I said, I didn't believe in their silly gospel. Then, as time passed, I kept it a secret because i was afraid of the repercussions. I was worried about what would happen.
Either way, I never got a recommend. I knew I wasn't worthy, and i came up with other reasons why I didn't deserve one. Generally I blamed it on my lack of faith.
Eventually i got accepted at a church university and I am in my first semester.
I also didn't talk about the sex during my interviews to get in here.
My life is a mess. So many things are so messed up. I feel like a lot of it comes from the feelings i have attached to this experience with my girlfriend, and I need to repent. I know that by coming clean and confessing, I know that through taking the right steps, I will feel so much better.
But Im still scared. I don't know what will happen. I lied to two bishops. I didn't lie to get a recommend, but I avoided the truth. Even though this happened a year ago and I haven't had a problem with it since, I am afraid about my future in the school if anyone finds out.
I know what I need to do. I am just too afraid to stop procrastinating. but it hurts too much to go on like this.
has anyone out there been in a similar situation? did any other LDS youth lose their virginity in high school? Please, tell me I'm not alone? give me some courage? I know I have to change. but I can't do it like this. I need you guys.

Comments:

You Can Do It!    
"You are not alone. This happens to a lot more people than you think. We are humans with weaknesses and people often give in to such desires. I had my brother go through the same process. It was very difficult for him, but he came clean. As much as I can, I'd like to detail the process that he went through.

First off let me say how much love I feel for him and for you. Don't let this episode demean your self worth. God loves you immensely. He is anxioiusly awaiting your decision. First step is to pray for the strength to do what you need to do to repent. I am not your bishop, so I don't know what he will decide is best for you.

Second, immerse yourself in the scriptures. Let them influence your life. It sounds like you are feeling godly sorrow. That is not comfortable, but that is good. It will motivate you to change. Don't feel too embarrassed for your actions (in other words, try not to let the social stigma of your sin influence you, I know that it's particularly strong at church schools).

The fact that you lied to two bishops doesn't make your sin worse. Don't stress about that too much. Surround yourself with good things and good people. You can do it. Just from answering this question I feel such love for you and so does God."
posted at 20:21:07 on November 9, 2014 by intothewest
Thank You    
"Thank you so much for your reply.
I haven't posted on this site in over two years, and it means so much to be reminded what a loving community it is. I thank God for your inspired response. you have given me hope and strength. it really means a lot. I love you for saying these things.
I have been feeling similar things, like reading the scriptures and overcoming the stigma. something i really need to do better is praying. I know that the value of that cannot be overstated. I also appreciate what you said about surrounding myself with good people.
The only reason I was capable of allowing myself to make that mistake was because I chose to surround myself with people who made poor choices anfd felt badly about God. I feel like doing the reverse could only help 10 times more.
once again, thanks you. you've helped me feel safer and more comfortable. God bless you. "
posted at 00:34:00 on November 10, 2014 by SeminaryKid
Forgiveness is possible    
"We feel guilt and godly sorrow when we sin, not so much because God wants to punish us, we're already doing that to ourselves, but so that we can humble ourselves before Him. Once we're humble and can honestly say, "Thy will and not mine be done," He can start doing amazing things with us.

When I was a student at BYU I cheated on a class project. At the time I justified my behavior as being necessary. It wasn't until later that I started to feel remorse and regret for it. By that time I had already graduated. I was scared to death of what would happen if I confessed to the sin now, i.e. would they revoke my diploma? It was difficult, but I was at the point where I was willing to do His will regardless of the consequences. I sent the professor a letter, explaining who I was, when I graduated, when I took his class, and what I did. Then I sat back and waited to see what would happen. In this case, the professor reached out to me and thanked me for my honesty. He frankly forgave me and told me not to carry the burden around any longer. I was free from the burden of carrying that sin. When you confess to your bishop, I have no idea what his response will be. I do know however, that once you do, you won't have to carry the burden around unnecessarily any longer.

I wish you luck. You seem headed on the right track."
posted at 10:26:57 on November 10, 2014 by Anonymous


Add a Comment:


***Anonymous User***     (login above to post UN-anonymously)








help
join
"My spiritual prescription includes six choices which I shall list alphabetically, A through F:
  • Choose to Be Alive
  • Choose to Believe
  • Choose to Change
  • Choose to Be Different
  • Choose to Exercise
  • Choose to Be Free "

    — Russell M. Nelson

    General Conference, October 1988