The Vortex in marriage
By R_Matt
8/24/2014 9:30:12 AM
23 Days of Sobriety - the Fight with my Wife - the threats of divorce - the acting out - 23 Days of Sobriety . . . . . . .

hard to accept that all I need to do is be Humble, Recognize my part, and restore the marriage when my wife hasn't taken the time to understand how she could help. I know I'm selfish but I also want to overcome this addiction and my marriage seems to be getting in the way.


23 days is not long    
"If it's only been 23 days, your wife is likely still hurt, still acting from a place of injury. Be patient with her. Listen to her. Don't respond out of anger. Let her be upset. Let her know you love her. Ask her how you can help.

It might take months or years for your wife to trust you again. Keep that in perspective."
posted at 01:18:19 on August 26, 2014 by bestgmever
23 Days- Great Job!    
"You are doing great.

23 Days means the toughest temptations are coming in about a week. And then again in 5 weeks and 9 weeks. Be prepared. You can do it. Make radical changes in your life.

When you have 23 months of sobriety and 100% complete honesty, then you can start to wonder when your wife will notice.

How long have you struggled with your addiction and with dishonesty?"
posted at 14:51:00 on August 26, 2014 by Anonymous
"In trying to relate as best I can, I'll just share that I instantly heard my own voice when I read your last line.

I used to say ALL. THE. TIME. that I wanted to be happy but my husband's porn addiction was getting in the way.

Guess what? That just aint true. It doesn't work that way.

My husband's addiction has nothing to do with my happiness and your marriage has nothing to do with your addiction/ recovery. I promise. Dig deep. You've got this!"
posted at 22:07:57 on August 26, 2014 by maddy

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"The excuse is given that it is hard to avoid, that it is right at our fingertips and there is no escape. Suppose a storm is raging and the winds howl and the snow swirls about you. You find yourself unable to stop it. But you can dress properly and seek shelter, and the storm will have no effect upon you. Likewise, even though the Internet is saturated with material, you do not have to watch it. You can retreat to the shelter of the gospel and its teaching of cleanliness and virtue and purity of life. "

— Gordon B. Hinckley

General Conference, October 2004