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My prayer of submission
By sjanderson
7/4/2014 3:26:58 PM
Heavenly Father,
I don't know how to go forward. I have been so glad to be on vacation for the last week. It has been a breath of fresh air into our lives to see Utah and Idaho and realize that there are people that love us in many places, who miss us and want us to succeed. Thank you for the sacrifice of my parents and family and friends who have made this trip possible. I though that by this point in my life I would be idependent enough to do these sort of things, but as we can see we are not. We are in the East far away from my family but near my wife's family and have tried to share the Gospel wherever we go. Thank you for the chance to be with my wife's family, and help live the Gospel for them. Thank you for the numerous miracles that you have blessed us with in our lives. the fact that my wife has not yet left me, even though she has every right to leave and give up on me. thank you for bringing her and I together.

As I said I thought that my life was going to be completely different by now, in so many ways. I thought that I would be living in the West near family and having accomplished wonderful great things would be considered a "hero". Now as I look at my life I realize that this was pride speaking and I want to humbly submit my will to yours. I made choices the best I could but feel hurt and bitter in some ways because I regret not ending up where I thought I was teaching at the college that I thought was where i was supposed to be. Instead of being like Laman and Lemuel like I have been most of my life, I want to submit my will to you, I want to follow you. If it means going away from my family, leaving my 'home town' saying goodbye, being embarrased I want to say that I will do it for you. My struggle right now is my heart; even with my miracles in my life with seeing my changed heart i still fight against you repeatedly in my heart holding resentlment and anger against you. Please help me to want to follow you, please show me that there is hope and that there is a purpose to my life. Please guide me to where you want me to be. I know I am asking for a lot, please forgive me for my forwardness, help me to do your will always and be the example that you would have me be.

In Jesus Name i pray Amen

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"Are you battling a demon of addiction—tobacco or drugs, or the pernicious contemporary plague of ography? Whatever other steps you may need to take to resolve these concerns, come first to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Trust in heaven’s promises. In that regard Alma's testimony is my testimony: "I do know," he says, "that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions."

— Jeffrey R. Holland

General Conference, April 2006