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Lots of anxiety
By kristina
6/2/2014 11:46:39 AM
I found this site from searching the internet. I'm here filled with fear that I could die and my anxiety is so terrible. I've gone through this so many times and have been drinking for years. I just came off of a 3 day binge. I feel so scared I could die, I'm only 31 years old. I hope god will hear my prayers. I truly want to quit. I'm going to start today. I get drunk ever other day or few days. You couldn't even tell by looking at me that I"m an alcoholic. I feel so alone.

Comments:

Honesty    
"Congratulations, admitting that your life is out of control is the first step. Honesty is the key to not feeling alone anymore. I am an addict, too. I know how you feel. I've been there.

If you are a point that you are willing to do whatever it takes to stop then talk to your bishop and attend ARP meetings, or AA. I know it's scary to get help, but I promise that you will not regret it!"
posted at 12:24:35 on June 2, 2014 by marcbelles
Welcom    
"Kristina
thansk for your share. I hope you find hope and healing in your search. My addiction has another name but I can only imagine your pain and lonileness. i hope that your admission helps you begin to start taking the steps you need to. If I might be so bold having a sponsor, someone who has what you want to help hold you accountable will help you a lot. i spent 4+ years attending teh church's 12 step program not realising the extent of my probme as I tried to wrestle with my demons.
I love the promises from the Big book about recovery
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through . . .

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

We will comprehend the word serenity.

We will know peace.

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

Self-seeking will slip away.

Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

hang in there! If you can make it 24 hours at a time, you can accomplish what the lord wants you to do and give you the peace you are looking for

Cheers"
posted at 21:14:50 on June 2, 2014 by sjanderson
I second SJANDERSON's comment.    
"AA changed my life. Recovery IS possible. I have been clean and sober for 14 years. Please do the hard thing and reach out for help at an AA meeting. If it uncomfortable, try another meeting until you find a group of people that you can relate to.
Good luck! Sobriety is possible.
Also, anxiety is a treatable condition with a very high success rate. Consider a counselor or therapist."
posted at 00:53:45 on June 3, 2014 by Anonymous
Welcome    
"Kristina,

Welcome to the site! I know it seems ugly right now, but WHEN you come out on the other side of this you will see how loved and guided you have been every second of this journey by our Heavenly Father. Have you done AA or ARP before? I really, really, really, super duper recommend going to an AA meeting asap. Maybe find a couple meetings and go more than once a week to get you on fire as you get started.

http://www.aa.org/

Find you local meetings. You may be surprised how many there are in your area. If you have an ARP meeting where you live as well, that will help you get the LDS spiritual help and the AA will give you the YEARS of addiction recovery experience that will be invaluable to you.

So much love and hope to you!
Maddy"
posted at 06:37:01 on June 3, 2014 by maddy
Physical Dependence    
"If you can get in to your doctor and talk to them, it may be a good idea. If you try to quit drinking suddenly, you will withdrawal from the alcohol physically. It's serious enough that you should consider some kind of medical help."
posted at 22:49:40 on June 7, 2014 by Anonymous
How are you doing    
"Kristina,
just curious to know how things are going for you. as i reread your post I was remined of my own dread and desire to end my own life because of my addiction. I just have 20 days of sobriety and a lifetime to go, but it is amazing to me how just a few days has helped me change my perspective. By the way I remember as a kid growing up how much people who said you just need to have a positive attitude really bugged me. I was facing real physical challenges everyday and I couldn't seem to see how things would ever get better. Overtime I became disillusioned with the Church Culture - not the doctrine - and gave into my addictions. For years I indulged thinking that this one would cure my feelings, this would make the hurt go away. as I said I only have 20 days but even now I am begining to see some signs of change and hope for greater things to come. Something that has helped me has been to deliberately surround myself with positive uplifting music - i used to think people like that were Jesus Freaks, but here I am I am one of them, and I am happier than where I was before - a lot of road to still travel but I am hopeful for his Grace. My prayers go out to you in your struggles and I hope and pray that you can see his hands in your life!

Cheers"
posted at 15:23:10 on June 15, 2014 by sjanderson
Keep Your Head Up    
"I will keep my comment short and simple. Your addiction does not define who you are. You can overcome this. We are all here for you!!! Glad you are here and look forward to seeing you change to become who you want to be and know you can be."
posted at 22:35:46 on June 15, 2014 by No2Name2014


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"Develop discipline of self so that, more and more, you do not have to decide and redecide what you will do when you are confronted with the same temptation time and time again. You need only to decide some things once. How great a blessing it is to be free of agonizing over and over again regarding a temptation. "

— Spencer W. Kimball