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day 14 and still going strong with the help of him.
By torrenca
5/25/2014 2:57:20 PM
This week I have found myself more at peace. I am working the steps. Started writing down my feelings on the things I have done in my past. I have never really thought about the feelings side of my past just physical side. Trying to figure out the feelings I have before during and after the addictive behavior. Trying to figure out my triggers so I won't repeat them. I have been praying everyday just little prayers for help and comfort. I know that he is helping me so much and that without him I would be lost. I am so glad that I believe in our redeemer and that through him I can be saved.


I feel everything is going in warp speed. Wednesday I felt that I wouldn't be able to keep all the balls up in the air and I would miss one and all of them would come crashing down. I checked my mail Wednesday morning before I left for work. I normaly check if after work but I didn't get it done the night before. In the mail were my new garments. For those of you that haven't read my old posts I had burned all my garments. (thank goodness I missed a few pair). Getting them gave me such a sense of peace. It took me back to that night. The night that I had decided to quit and give my wife and family up and live with my addiction alone on my own. In that instant he had shown me how far I had come in less than 2 weeks and I was doing fine. I felt calm.

Friday I asked my wife to a lunch date and asked her to go away with me for the weekend. She didn't say yes right away. I have been putting all of my excess energy into her. Giving her my time and ear. Trying to get her to just like me again. I knew I had at least a 50/50 shot that she would say yes. We talked the whole 2hr drive to the hotel. I told her about my feelings for her and that I wanted her over and over not my addiction. Our weekend away from the kids was great I know I still have a ton of work to do but I'm in it for the long haul.

Just wanted to check in and let the whole www. That I am hanging in there and moving forward one day at a time. I pray that all of you are doing the same.

Comments:

congratulations keep up the good work    
"Torrenca, it is good to here your success. Keep up the good work or that is keep turning your will over to God. That is what is going to make all the differene, hang in there.
cheers"
posted at 20:15:07 on May 25, 2014 by sjanderson
Way to go!    
"Torrenca this is wonderful news. I remember those days early on after I discovered my husband's addiction. He was wonderful and like you said was "going at warp speed". Even with you staying in recovery the process will take time. Do not get discouraged if you are putting everything into recovering your marriage and you do not feel the same returned from your wife. Even in these moments when you feel she is disconnected, she really is trying. She does want to trust you, she does want to see you in the best light and the way that she saw you before. I hope that you two are going to counseling and that she is going to the ARP meetings as well. She needs that fellowship with the sisters there that are ahead of her on this path.
The Lord loves you! Keep going! We've been recovering for 2 years and 2 months and we are working at it every day.
Many prayers coming your way!"
posted at 06:18:28 on May 27, 2014 by 1stepatatime
Wonderful news    
"That is an awesome post. One day at a time is all we are asked to do.

Way to go!"
posted at 08:02:28 on May 27, 2014 by maddy


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"Don’t live your life in despair, feeling sorry for yourself because of the mistakes you have made. Let the sunshine in by doing the right things—now. It may be difficult to begin, but pick up the scriptures and immerse yourself in them. Look for favorite passages. Lean on the Master’s teachings, on His servants’ testimonies. Refresh your parched soul with the word of God. The scriptures will give you comfort and the strength to overcome. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990