Will I get sent home from my mission?
By haleman
5/12/2014 12:36:35 PM
Hello all. I have been struggling with an addiction to pornography and masturbation for about 8 years. I am 19 now and have gotten a better handle on things. I turned in my mission papers and have a call to leave on June 4. However I have still been struggling. I have been doing my best to stay honest with my bishop and tell him when i struggle. And I haven't had any major issues in several months. But I just keep struggling. I keep looking at things that might not even be pornographic because there is no nudity, but they still aren't good. And like I said I've done my best to be honest with my bishop about this and he thinks i am ready to go. I just keep worrying that I haven't been honest or clear enough or he is being too easy on me and when I get to the MTC they will send me home.

I think the Spirit is telling me I am ready when I pray and read the scriptures everyday, but I am worried that these doubts are promptings telling me to wait. I don't know what to do. I kind of just need someone to tell me if they think I'll get sent home or not because I have been struggling.


Be Still    
"be still my young brother and know that He is God! I say that because you are having many doubts thrown your way at this time because Satan does NOT want you out on the front lines. If you are being truthful to Heavenly Father and your Bishop then you are worthy to serve our savior Jesus Christ. They will not send you home unless you have been untruthful, unless you are still mbing. What is your current struggle that is still happening in you? you say several months without any major issues - what does that entail? If you don't feel comfortable answering these questions that is fine - I would probably just go to your Bishop one more time and express these doubts you are having. Just let him know everything you just wrote above. My dear brother I feel your strong desire to serve our Lord and I know it will be fulfilled. Stay true!!

WarriorOn while remaining WarriorStrong - No Matter the Cost!"
posted at 15:27:15 on May 12, 2014 by warrioron
Thanks for the reply    
"What I mean by serious struggle is looking at explicit pornography. I haven't done that in several months. I have however been struggling with like staying off of bad sites that have inappropriate pictures on them. Not even pornographic, but just stimulating. I've been doing that every couple of weeks since I put in my papers. I have also masturbated a few times, but not in about 6 weeks. And I am getting better with all of this. Its like its slowly cycling down to zero. I just have these struggles. Which is really more like a habit. Where I just start looking for bad images not even intending or wanting to find anything. According to my bishop and stake president those things aren't pornography. they're still not good because they drive away the spirit. But I'm just worried someone at the MTC will disagree and send me home. Or I won't feel good while im there and have to come home myself."
posted at 17:43:23 on May 12, 2014 by haleman
Fight On brother    
"well you won't have the capability of looking at those things in the MTC and the over powering spiritual feeling you have them, plus your very busy days won't give you the time to even think about anything but your service and learning how to be a missionary. They don't ask you "worthiness" issues in the MTC, that was already handled by your Bishop and SP. You do have a Branch President assigned to you and if you need to talk he is the one your would go to - I honestly see no reason to even mention anything to him or anyone else, unless you happen to masturbate in the MTC - then I would say, yes, you need to tell your Branch President and he will decide from there what happens. You have until June 4 to stay completely mb free and stay away from what I call the soft porn, because it sparks the little fires that you don't want to bring up - anything that gets your desires and passions flowing down there you need to cut out and replace with better habits - when you desire to look at your non-porn (soft porn) pics then grab the scriptures and start reading, I know you can do this brother -- you are strong and I can sense that - you are a true son of our Heavenly Father and of the royal generation - you got this!!

Love you brother!!

WarriorOn while remaining WarriorStrong - No Matter the Cost!!"
posted at 20:14:01 on May 12, 2014 by warrioron

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"The solution to this problem ultimately is neither governmental nor institutional. Nor is it a question of legality. It is a matter of individual choice and commitment. Agency must be understood. The importance of the will in making crucial choices must be known. Then steps toward relief can follow."

— Russell M. Nelson