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And I came to myself and saw what wretched man I am . I need help
By Joshua06
4/6/2014 1:54:06 PM
So I have been here before. However forgot my user name. Hence I created another one. My son wants to be baptized in about 5 weeks from now when he is eight years old. Today I have been really struggling not to masturbate and I have looked at pornogrpahy already that is probably rated pg13 despite having filters on my internet enabled devices. I don't know if I messed up my chances of baptizing my son but I do know if I masturbate the cycle will continue for me of binging feeling guilty for it causing more binging then either I try again or forget about trying and just masturbate or look at pornography whenever I feel like it and never getting out of it and the scriptures do say to prove the doctrine then we will know the truth of it plus the modern day prophets have said if we obey the law of chastity we will ave lots of joy and happiness in our marital relationships and I am married so that is hat I want too however sometimes the addiction to lust over and over again and to stimulate me physically or in my mind by whatever means to lust is too great of a weakness for me that I can't overcome it. So I want suggestions please

Plus when it gets too great and my wife is home sometimes I ask her to give a helping hand literally but I don't want to maker her feel like I amusing her as a toy but on the other hand it would be nice if she can help when I feel like this so the urge to act out would be greatly decreased as I would have got satisfaction within the rules of God plus I want to use this urge tt be sexual as like welding two pieces of metal into one to make it stronger and not weaker. Any suggestions


Maybe what would help is my background I started to masturbate on and off when I was about 12 then it escalated to a regular basis always with fantasy of being sexual with the girls I found attractive who were around my age then I started to look at pictures or films that had some sensuality to them probably up to the rating of m, then I didn't look at pornography for a few years while still masturbating to fantasy and I can still recall some of those fantasies from teenage hood to this day as I often use the same genre for fantasy. I got married about 10 years ago and a few years into the marriage I was on the net to look up lingerie to try to see if my wife would wear any of this and soon while I was looking I started to masturbate to it then it progressed to if I dint have filters I would be looking at x rated stuff while I masturbate and if that it's not available it would be fantasy of what I saw or read in porn to masturbate with and I really want to be clean. Any suggestions. Thanks for ur help

Comments:

My experience    
"Here I have few ideas for you if you have a minute. My experience I think has been similar, struggling with addiction to p@rn. I believe though for me the p@rn is not the issue. The bigger issue is the hole in my heart, wanting to connect with others, wanting to feel meaningful connection with others, wanting to control my life For me conference is alittle bit of a hard time because of all the talks about how bad p@rn is. I don't seek to excuse myself it is just hard to be motivated to change when my wife is hitting me over the head with how "I am the one who brought the evil spirit inot our home". Yes I accept resposiblity for my choices, it is just that she seems to hit me with everything that she is upset about. Anyway that aside here are somethings that have helped me in my recovery.

1. getting a sponsor- I have attended 12 step meetings of teh church for about 4 years with very little success. It was after being put on probation prior to my daughter's baptism did I begin to make some progress, but even then it wasn't until about 2 months ago when I got a sponsoer who is no nonsense that I begin to hold myself accountable even more. I have to decide to make mental choices.
2. I joined the S@x aholics Anonomys. For me they hold the closest chastity to the Church and their standards have helped me stay above the past behavior. I think attending as many meetings as I can per week. In my case up to three SA meetings a week seems to help me a lot.
3. there have been several books taht I have ead that have been helpful He Restoreth my soul, Like Dragons they did Fight and the blog Rowboats throwing marbles at battleships
4. I have also found al ot of help from the bebettermormon.org or curethecraving,com program a free program with P@rn fighting tools and strategies.
5. As I mentioned before p@rn is a sign in my life of deeper spiritual issues, needing to feel loved or belonging. The P@rn is just a symptom of deeper issues"
posted at 19:58:58 on April 7, 2014 by sjanderson
Root of the problem    
"I think people go around in circles with this problem because they don't know what the root of the problem is. I was reading a book yesterday that said, "If you begin with the wrong assumptions it is hard to arrive at the right answers" (Leadership and Liberty by Orrin Woodward). I think in addiction recovery there are some wrong assumption about the root of the problem, and peoples effort to change are like trying to remove dandelion's from the lawn by clipping off the leaves - it always grows back. I have found that if people really address the root of the problem then it doesn't have to be such a frustrating wrestle. Read "Why you can't stop once you start" at http://wholesomelives.wordpress.com and be open to the possibility that there is a spiritual root to the problem you haven' been addressing. I hope this is helpful for you. God bless you!"
posted at 11:00:19 on April 8, 2014 by Anonymous
My advice    
"First of all this comes from a 20 year old married man, so I am not sure how applicable this is to you. I had an amazing year and half long relationship that had so much potential that just ended recently. I ended it because despite our efforts, after we began to break from chastity, we got to doing everything except intercourse, and almost ended up doing that. But when we tried to stop it never really worked. I ended it because we couldn't stop despite wanting to and it was causing me to not go to church or read scriptures, or really do anything that was important to me. Finally I ended it so I could work on myself. While in the relationship I was doing things alone as you say you are. Things with her were wrong in my case, but not in yours. I found that despite my many efforts to stop doing things alone, I could do ok with during the day so long that I deleted everything that could tempt me and threw away anything that could also. But in the morning I would wake up--instantly tempted--not with my wits about me and would be back where I started. Then it would take a long time to try and quit again. What worked for me, was one day throwing away and deleting all things I associated with it--reading my scriptures and praying and realizing my real intent to stop (even though I had done this and had the problem waking up tempted and having it end badly) but then... I read scriptures and prayed before bed-- and I went to sleep with the SCRIPTURES IN MY BED NEXT TO ME. I was so shocked because it worked! I woke up, and the first thought was the scriptures. I prayed and read them. I plan to do this for a very long time. Until I'm absolutely over this and maybe longer because it is the best reminder for reading in the morning. But you are married, and I think your spouse will understand if you just tell her honestly what you are having issues with and I think she will want to help. I would take a little while (probably not too long since you are married, so it's ok, but it probably wouldn't do anything even with her just so you can resist the urge by yourself) and just not do anything sxual. And sleep with the scriptures on your bed! I think your wife will embrace you shedding the sin and I think you will be able to beat this detrimental habit. I know it's hard, but actually, for me, sleeping with the scriptures made it easy. I end my day with the scriptures, and before i have a chance to be tempted, I start the day with the scriptures, and I have the spirit all day to help other times.

I hope this helps!"
posted at 01:17:31 on April 16, 2014 by Anonymous


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"Are you battling a demon of addiction—tobacco or drugs, or the pernicious contemporary plague of ography? Whatever other steps you may need to take to resolve these concerns, come first to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Trust in heaven’s promises. In that regard Alma's testimony is my testimony: "I do know," he says, "that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions."

— Jeffrey R. Holland

General Conference, April 2006