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I need to talk about things
By tsquared
3/18/2014 11:45:02 AM
After 17 months of sobriety, I acted out today. I want to get right back up and get going again. I know that through the Atonement I have made great progress, and I can't let this incident beat me down. And so I need to talk about it.

I did something I said I'd never let myself do no matter how much sobriety time I had accumulated. I slipped into complacency. I was only working on my program once or twice a week, and my Gospel Study hasn't been the best lately.

I've been sick in bed the last week. Sickness is always a trigger for me, because I just want to escape it. That compounded with the stress of missing work/research when I'm already in a time crunch to graduate on time. I reached out to a couple of guys in my group a couple of days ago, but I got embarrassed to reach out again only two days later; in hindsight, that was a mistake.

That's where I am. I know I'm a son of God, and like I said before I just need to get up and keep going and the best way for me to do that is to talk about what happened. I came here first and hopefully I'll be able to talk to my sponsor later today and then talk to my wife.

Thanks for the support and for reading.

Comments:

Thanks for sharing    
"TSQUARED
Thanks for sharing. What I've found in my experience is that getting the issue out is so helpful in healing. It doesn't mean that it is easier, it just helps get things taken care of. i like you have found that complacency is a real warning sign. It is a good thing that you are recognizing your triggers a major step forward. i have a question for you if you don't mind me being so bold, do you have someone to help hold you accountable? I know that for me when i am able to fudge a little here and there it gets easiera and easier to justify my actions. When I have to look someone in the eye and say this is what I have done, sometimes that affects my choices. . not all the time but it has helped a little. Thanks for sharing, your certainly in my prayers.

s"
posted at 13:43:53 on March 18, 2014 by sjanderson
Dealing with triggers    
"I hope that you have followed your own advice and got back up a d going again. When we make a mistake, Satan wants us to feel hopeless and weak. He wants us to wallow in shame. We just need to repent ASAP and leave the mistake in the past. The more we dwell on it the more likely we will mess up again. If we take a wrong exit off a freeway, the best thing to do is turn around and get back on the right road. In addiction we tend to take that wrong exit and then drive around for a while (wasting time and opportunities) before we finally decide its time to get back to where we were. The longer we stay in those forbidden paths the harder it is to find our way back.
On the http://wholesomelives.wordpress.com blog read the post "Why you can't stop once you start" and it may give you insight as to why you messed up, and how to handle triggers. God bless you!"
posted at 13:35:48 on April 4, 2014 by Anonymous


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"We cannot keep one foot in the Church and one foot in the world. One reason is the world and the Church are rapidly diverging. We will lose our balance.We know that "no man can serve two masters." Some, I fear, are attempting to do what President Marion G. Romney described as trying to "serve the Lord without offending the devil." "

— Larry W. Gibbons

General Conference October 2006