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the line?
By inbetween
1/16/2014 3:41:53 AM
K... so it happened again... I saw these people having sex and I turned the channel, but I venture back, and then I'll turn it again as soon as I see anything like a breast or anything. So I know my natural man and my spiritual man are fighting like crazy right now... I once again stopped myself from masturbating. Just told myself im not doing that, but I pressed myself up against the ground and moved around and next thing you know... ejaculation in my pants.... I prayed, and I feel forgiven and I read and feel the spirit, and know what I did was not the best choice and I need to be better!! This has happened twice now and in between I've attended the temple felt worthy the whole time, had spiritual discussions and felt the spirit guide me, and more... so my real question is... if I feel the spirit and talking/teaching with the spirit I would feel I'm worthy. But I don't want this to become something bigger. Any suggestions? And does anyone disagree on the whole worthiness thing? I know for a fact I'm not am addict to pornography.... but I think my desires aren't the best...but I don't wanna justify things? I think maybe I need to fast and pray more oft? Any suggestions? I really don't wanna go back to my old ways!

Comments:

Dry Humping    
"Its's wrong to dry hump the ground, use your hand or the ground, it's MB. Maybe once, you didn't know, but after that you are setting yourself up to have it happen. Don't game yourself back into full blown addiction, try and put the brakes on now."
posted at 07:32:15 on January 16, 2014 by Anonymous
makes sense    
"Anon- okay thank you for that... I will stop immediately and if I can't I'll be going in and seeking further help. Thanks for that!"
posted at 09:03:03 on January 16, 2014 by inbetween
Yes, the line    
"I spent years of addiction trying to see how close to "the line" I could come without actually crossing the line. I failed most of the time. Fighting temptation is hard enough as it is, but when you allow yourself to be tempted even a little, you then start a fight with CHEMISTRY in addition to temptation, and that makes the fight incredibly harder. Once your body starts releasing those feel-good chemicals that come when you start to entertain temptation, the fight becomes much, much harder.

How serious are you about stopping this behavior? Serious enough to stop watching TV entirely, and replacing that with wholesome activities like serving others or getting exercise? If TV is your own personal gateway to inappropriate behavior, then don't even start with the gateway activity in the first place, even if you tell yourself you are just going to watch good shows. It's way easier to stop when you completely avoid your own personal gateways that lead to acting out on your weaknesses."
posted at 10:07:09 on January 16, 2014 by RMWW
Take Two Aspirin...    
"Here are the two aspirin

Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3h-CE0L_yNQ
and this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TUBBLGx8Pg

Then let's talk."
posted at 11:15:00 on January 16, 2014 by beclean
What RMWW said.    
"When I was inactive, I didn't even have a television. I spent all my spare time hiking with my dogs, or taking them to the dog park. No kidding, no exaggeration. They were my children and I was devoted to them. Kept me out of trouble with the young ladies, too. I honestly didn't have time for them (the girls), not one second. And I don't regret it one bit, and in fact, those were the best years of my life by far.

I would recommend exercising (oddly enough, weight lifting will increase your free serum testosterone levels significantly, but when I do this, I find it easier to say no to temptation and I don't have nearly as many tempting times), and spend your time shedding fat and increasing lean muscle mass and explosive power.

Don't think for a second that I recommend exercising because it will make you too tired to MB, because that's entirely false. Exercising does increase your psychological health. It helps to balance your brain chemistry, and takes you away from an environment that is not good for you. It can be a very positive thing, and you need more positive things in your life. But do be warned, whether you work out in a gym, a park, or even on bear trails, you're likely to see young ladies who are not modestly dressed. Just look away and work through it and concentrate on your exercise. The net spiritual gain is substantial, even when you deduct the moments of temptation, and even if you slip up now and then.

The best way to motivate yourself to exercise is to select a sport that you want to excel in, then design your training program around it, after building a solid foundation of fitness.

Get some other positive activities in your life, and these can include things that allow you to mingle with girls, as long as those activities are wholesome. Get away from the idiot tube. It's an addiction in and of itself, even if you never see anything inappropriate. And one addiction leads to another.

What you really have is a big worm inside you and it's eating your guts out, and when it starts to gnaw on you, you run away from it by MBing. Just like me. Just like all of us addicts. We try to cover up the pain or fill the void with illegitimate activities. Please see my recent blog, "The Chemicals Behind the Addiction". And pay close attention to how these chemicals work when comparing MB and porn to healthy sex between a loving couple.

You also would do well to find the roots of your addiction, that is, what is the pain (or what are the pains) that you're running away from? It would be good to confront these and deal with them, one at a time. And you might need help with this, even a therapist. 'Cause if you don't get to the root of the problem, you'll never get past this. You might stop for months, even years, but you'll inevitably go back to your bad habit when the going gets really rough.

At this stage, I would also highly recommend getting the LDS 12-Step Recovery Manual and working the steps and study material at the end of each chapter."
posted at 11:48:52 on January 16, 2014 by dog
not an addict    
"So, I totally appreciate everyones comments!! I really really do!!! But I've never been a porn addict or addicted to masturbating. Former sex addict, and what I've explained has only happened a couple times. But I do exercise, but the days I have missed this has happened, so thank you DOG, cause I am going to start working out more, and RWWW I actually told myself I'm not watching tv during late nights anymore... so thank you for that wonderful suggestion. I really am done. Its not going to happen again. I'm not going to press myself up against the ground anymore, and I know for a fact I won't masturbate... everyone I'm so grateful fr your help!!! My next question... since its only happened a couple times and I don't watch the porn and when I see something bad I move one, and I try avoiding it and all that, doing my best... this is something I can take up in my prayers right now right?? Unless it becomes a problem where I become addicted.... then I should go see my stake president... is this correct?"
posted at 18:00:53 on January 16, 2014 by inbetween
Follow the Spirit    
"Inbetween... You should pray about whether you should talk to your bishop, then do whatever the Spirit directs. What you've described seems more on the not-too-serious end of things, but following the Spirit is the best approach.

Here's a great article that I think will give you answers.

http://www.lds.org/new-era/2013/10/why-and-what-do-i-need-to-confess-to-my-bishop?lang=eng />
Even if you don't feel prompted, or you don't exactly meet the guidelines of needing to talk to the bishop, it may actually be in your best interest to meet with him anyway. He's really there to represent the Lord and to love you and help you, and can help you remain accountable over time."
thank you!    
"Thank you so much for that!! I think I'm gonna pray, and if it happens again or feel weighed down by it I will go in!! But I think you're right that this is something I can take care of cause I don't feel its a serious sin as it says in that talk, and I am happy, and feel the spirit, so I think I just need to forsake it and not let it happen again!! Thanks so much!"
posted at 17:30:20 on January 17, 2014 by inbetween
Avoidance    
"Abstain from all appearance of evil.
1 Thes 5:22"
posted at 14:12:39 on January 18, 2014 by Anonymous
Temptation    
"I think that you mentioned that you had come home from your mission for medical reasons. Are you planning on going back into the field? Have you thought of going out with the local missionaries? That always helps me feel the spirit. If you feel that you need to talk to your stake president, do it. Maybe you need someone that will check up on you-someone else to be accountable to, this has also helped me."
posted at 00:25:09 on January 19, 2014 by Anonymous
It's me    
"Yeah idk right now cause I'm not getting any better, and so I have the feelings of I've done what the Lord wanted me to do, but then again I dunno what to do... It's really really hard because I love my mission, but the desire I had to serve has somewhat changed... I'm older, and sometimes feel i should move on and look for a eternal companion. But I dunno I have talked to my stake president, and he just says stay strong, and he told me I was worthy. Have been to the temple, and gone with the missionaries.... I have felt the spirit, but lately this decision about going back out is really taking a toll on me, and weighing me down. It's just been really hard cause I dunno what to do and yes I've prayed, read, and fasted... Any input?? This is in between"
posted at 02:38:58 on January 20, 2014 by Anonymous
my two cents    
"Regarding your mission. I wonder if some of it isn't up to you to decide for yourself what you want to do, what is important to you. This isn't to be smart at all. i am going through some things right now in my own life. I am stuck in a job that is not providing enough for my family literally we are short probably 400 a month. It's been that way for nearly four years. I've worked hard to look for new work, to figure out what to do next. My addiction I'm sure is preventing us in some ways from moving forward. Anyway I'm back in school trying to switch careers in my late thirties and it is frustratin. I have also fasted and prayed wanting the Lord to show me the way, and yet here we sit still with my addictions, not enough money and some pretty bad arguing between my wife and I. What's also frustrating is that I spoke with the Bishop yesterday morning told him I was getting better had tools to fight the addiction and in the afternoon/evening I threw out 16 days sobriety.

For me I just want to climb back into bed and never wake up, wishing the Lord would just take me in my sleep , because that has got to be easier than facing what I am facing right now.

I imagine if you went back out you would be blessed (I am hesitant in saying that I know the Lord will bless you because I am searching to find the Lord's hand in my life right now and I feel a little less than confident in understanding what he wants from any of us). Looking on my missionary service I learned a lot about myself and the world, there were many good habits that were started in my missionary service. Having a mild physical disability it helps me keep pushing forward each day because I know that I've accomplished. Even now with my addiction I realize with my relapse yesterday I have to keep going I have to go one more day. I think if you committed yourself to go back out, he would put things along your way to help you understand what he wants you to do, then if something comes up that he wants you to go in a different direction he can direct you

I am praying for you, for your success and for the Lord to show you his will"
posted at 06:48:07 on January 20, 2014 by sjanderson
SJAnderson and Inbetween    
"Something struck me as I was reading SJAnderson's post above. I'm not suggesting that this is a cure, because no single thing alone is a cure when it comes to addictions, but I do remember reading something (not on the internet) by a Church member who had two sons, both of which had a porn addiction.

Both sons were counseled to keep a journal in which they recorded the days that they didn't act out, and the days that they did act out. One of the boys kept the journal, and the other didn't. The boy who kept the journal successfully recovered from his addiction, and the one who didn't keep the journal remained an addict.

I think you can do this by keeping a regular journal and just putting a smiley face : ) at the top on days that you don't act out, and a frowning face : ( on days that you don't. On days that you kind of start but stop before going too far, you can just put a deadpan face : | And keep track of the good days, and concentrate on them.

'Be grateful for every degree of success you achieve ' (almost a direct quote from Elder Scott). Don't belittle yourself for having 16 days of success and then relapsing or slipping. Instead, rejoice for the time of sobriety that you've had and thank the Lord for it. And ask Him for more sobriety. Don't expect it all at once, but here a little, there a little. And be positive.

Like I say, this is probably not a cure, but it could be another arrow in your quiver to fight temptation and the underlying roots of your addiction. Call it your "Success Journal" to give it a positive ring. And keep on moving forward as best as you can."
posted at 10:34:13 on January 20, 2014 by dog
wow dog    
"I actually really like your idea of a "recovery journal". I've actually started doing this already but never thought about the smiley face thing. Thanks. Simple and it gets the point across."
posted at 22:37:45 on January 22, 2014 by asdfjkl1234


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