Warning Signs
By R_Matt
1/4/2014 6:12:40 AM
In a whirlpool now from acting out through the I'm realizing all the warning signs! all the things I could have done differently... I wish there was a way to be in tune to these underlying currents pulling me towards acting out with Internet porn and Ma... I guess that's what this is all about and there is a way. My main problem is Isolating myself and when I do that those currents are not as detectable - around others though, especially those who Love me, they are easier to spot...Ahhhh! I'm so sorry to all that is good and humanity; foremost my Wife and Kids, and myself.


My sentiments exactly Matt    
I am so sorry to hear about your recent relapse. You are not alone in your struggles, I have been struggling myself as well and feel the same way about isolation. I use to get angry at God for changing his expectations of me in my life, but now I realize that anger is at myself and disgust with my continual relapses.

My thoughts have been recently that "if only" I could get my life together than God would bless me/us, because we've got some pretty tough financial struggles right now and yet I keep sliding backwards. I don't know how many times I've said not again- now I am afraid of committing myself to anything and i find myself using the word I'll try because I can't face the disappointment of relapse again.

I apologize for pouring out my guts to your post. I have been having a struggle because I use to use my wife as a sounding board with my addiction but because of the anger and past issues any mention of relapse to her sends her into a tizzy. I use to have someone I could talk to, but they have moved away and have gotten busy.

I keep telling myself I want to give up my addiction to the Lord and yet I too find myself in the same situation over and over again leading me to belived that it is just too hard to change, and what is worth that it is not worth changing.

I certainly pray for you in your struggle, hang in there!"
posted at 09:04:22 on January 4, 2014 by sjanderson
"I have struggled with a masturbation problem for over 12 years. I would not engage in picture pornography (thank goodness as pictures are so hard to forget) but I used to have problems with reading sexual material on the Internet. I went several years without masturbating and then had a relapse. I am now at close to 500 days without falling back into masturbation.

Keep on trying praying and following the steps. The LORD loves you and wants you to succeed. Remember the Apostle Paul wrote: "And why stand we in a jeopardy every hour?" (I Corinthians 15:30). We always stand in jeopardy of falling back into temptation. Keep walking with the LORD and keeping the faith."
posted at 15:48:35 on January 4, 2014 by Anonymous
Balance, my friend    
"If your focus is on keeping a healthy mind, body, and spirit, you will notice when one of those things is a little diseased and falling out of balance. That will be your warning sign. You craves a quick fix when you get out of balance. Don't spend life fighting the cravings. You can't win. Instead, take care of yourself. Focus on balance and healthiness in body, mind, and spirit. Then, the cravings will subside. For more information"
posted at 16:10:14 on January 4, 2014 by beclean
"Help is necessary. Interesting how an addiction that thrives in isolation can be thwarted by openness and trusting another individual with your struggles. Reach out to someone you trust. Find a 12 step group, or heck, contact me. I know I don't know you from Adam, but hey I know your struggles. I am 2 years into recovery. It is still a challenge and I learn new things about myself and my struggle daily. But with focused effort, God and HELP, it can be done."
posted at 22:55:41 on January 5, 2014 by WHATTODO2
Good Site    
"This is a good site. I knew when getting up early this morning and going to the internet there were some underlying dangers. This site came to mind as well as the Mormon messages. Because of these resources, I did not fall into the trap before posted here when I acted out all night. The dangers are still there though....Been blessed to find a sponsor in SA and hope to meet with Him this week to start working the 12 steps from the beginning."
posted at 05:27:48 on February 12, 2014 by R_Matt
Slippery slope    
"It has been a few months since your post, but I thought I would comment. It is interesting how the path to relapse is a subtle slippery slope. Satan takes us there by small degrees so subtly that we don't even realize it until it is too late. That is why it is important to feel the spirit every day in prayer and scripture study. We need to check our spiritual compass often to make sure we are moving in the right direction. When we check our spiritual compass after the fact we wonder how we got so far off track without realizing it. We need to be actively engaged in purposeful activities, in doing things to make the world a better place. We need to stop thinking being entertained is an entitlement. We need to reach outside of ourselves and find ways to serve others. When we are actively doing this, really engaged in our life purpose, there is no room for porn. When we see pornography in light and truth it is distasteful, we don't want anything to do with it.
To better understand how Satan gets us on that slippery slope over and over again, read the post "Why you can't stop once you start" at I think that will be helpful for you. God bless you!"
posted at 14:04:21 on April 5, 2014 by Anonymous

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"Nothing is beyond [Christ’s] redeeming reach or His encircling empathy. Therefore, we should not complain about our own life’s not being a rose garden when we remember who wore the crown of thorns! Having bled at every pore, how red His raiment must have been in Gethsemane, how crimson that cloak! No wonder, when Christ comes in power and glory, that He will come in reminding red attire, signifying not only the winepress of wrath, but also to bring to our remembrance how He suffered for each of us in Gethsemane and on Calvary!"

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987