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now what?
By HumbleMatt
11/21/2013 11:47:53 PM
Yesterday, I recently made a huge step to get rid of an online gamming relationship that I wasted 4 years of my life for. Sure it gave me emotional comfort and emotional security, but the aftermath of this left my right side of my brain numb and I am feeling a most bitter pain in the absence of this relationship.

All the inadequate feelings that I hid from, all the guilt and mental depression are seeking to rush in to fill the void that I created by getting rid of this relationship. Even though this was in a gam, the mental feelings, the emotional feelings are still there, as if I did the real thing. My first reaction after I deleted my accounts is that I am free of this for good, but now what do I do? The addiction keeps calling me to act out and to continue with what I have been doing for the past four years.

I know that I must learn new behaviors but it is very hard. I want to act out to numb the pain. I don't dare go back to this online world game, I know that would just inflame my emotions and my problem.

The only thing that kept me from sinking into total despair and depression is listening tot he Book of Mormon on my phone. The ear buds cut off any sound from surrounding me and enveloped me in the word of God. I listened to Mosiah chapter 2 intently. It talked about the guilt that is associated with moral sin and transgressing against God's commandments. And it also talked about the blessings of being obedient to Heavenly Fathers commandments.

All I can say is I hope that I can replace this emptiness with better memories and actions that will take away the depression that seeks to fill this hole in the right side of my head. I want to cry. I want to run away from this feeling, but I know I cannot.

I will pray on my knees for the first time in ages tonight if my knees will let me.

Am just asking: Now what do I do?

Comments:

Wow that's rough    
"Thanks for sharing.

Go for a walk. A lot of walks.

Talk to God, envision him before you. Physically give him the pain, the emotion, and the craving, and Ask him to fill the hole in your head with charity, light, spirit, truth, or whatever else he tells you to ask for. Do this repeatedly every time these feelings return.

Go exercise. Make sure you're eating healthy (unhealthy foods and hunger increase cravings). Make sure you're getting to bed early and getting up early. Try meditation. Find another good habit to replace the void. Set up some fun double dates to occupy your time with real people.

Pick a few things from this list and give them a try. Report back."
posted at 07:37:45 on November 22, 2013 by beclean


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"Strength comes from uplifting music, good books, and feasting from the scriptures. Since the Book of Mormon was to come forth “when there shall be great pollutions upon the face of the earth” (Morm. 8:31), study of that book in particular will fortify us."

— Russell M. Nelson

General Conference, October 1988