Feeling like I'm drowning
By sjanderson
11/11/2013 5:52:06 PM
I have be sober for nearly 10 days now, but I feel like I am drowning. I have had no more than 7 months of sobriety overt the course of my addiction, which is really frustrating. Especially when you feel like you are the


thank you very much    
"sjsanderson. Thank you very much for the words you said on my blog. i really do appreciate the prayes and i hope things are going well for you. I really know how hard it is and i know the lord will be by our side. I admire you for putting forth the effort to overcome this addiction. is there anything specific you have done that has helped you out? I hope the best for you my friend and i will have you in my prayers as well. we can get through this. with the help of the lord we can overcome all things. keep up the good work. if you need someone to talk to send me a message and we can help eachother through this"
posted at 22:48:56 on November 11, 2013 by rogermerril
Staying away from the Internet seems to be my only strategy right now :)    
"Thanks for your words of encouragement. i am not sure ifI have any strategies. One thing particular was staying away from the Internet, particularly unsupervised. That is problematic at times because I feel like a child and can be very rebellious with my wanting to go out where I am not supposed to be, even though I know I am not supposed to be there . . if that makes sense. My wife keeps saying I need to find exercise or some other physical release strategy to deal with the physical hormones and things. While that is true and I need that, my particular challenge is also with my body. I am able to walk but it is getting harder so I am experiencing a lot of depression, more than usual realizing my body is failing me. I should be grateful I am sure for this learning exprience that the Lord is giving me but at times it feels like a curse from an unkind unloving God who expects me to "make up the difference" myself.

Please excuse my sudden negative outburst there I am really working hard on trying to remain positive, but I find myself again as I mentioned with the pornography fight I am a more strong willed person than i thought unwilling to submit to the Lord's will and purpose. I think if I could see the purpose or understand why my legs don't work, that there is a reason other than the usual "your supposed to become like God" answer that i could hold on to I think I might be able to make some progress. I want to say that this physical limitation is giving me insight into the feelings of inadequacies that other people have, but somehow it just feels hollow. As I've maybe said before I think I know the answer to what I am looking for, but I am not sure I believe it or am able to turn my life completely over to God, that I am afraid that he is out to get me because of my physical limitations in life. That I think is what is at the heart of my issues, that discontent I have that doesn't seem to go away. Thanks again for your kind words and prayers. Best wishes"
posted at 08:59:30 on November 12, 2013 by sjanderson
Jesus heals the lame.    
"We are all lame.

Keep going, man. He WILL heal you, too.

You're wife's suggestion to get other hobbies and other ways to deal with the stresses and challenges if life is completely inspired. Listen to her."
posted at 09:43:16 on November 12, 2013 by Beclean

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"In a decaying environment, the mind is the last redoubt of righteousness, and it must be preserved even amid bombardment by evil stimuli. Christ is competent to see us through, “for in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted” As promised, He will make either “a way to escape” or a way “to bear it”."

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987