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the last time
By chiswright
11/9/2013 1:06:45 AM
Well guys, i hit my record number of days clean just now. 15 days. im thankful for His love and atonement, as it has helped me feel clean, pure, and kind during the time that i was clean. i truly felt blessed, and pray that i can continually feel blessed in the same manner now.

Okay, now on to the negative. i messed up. thats all there is to it. i thought this would be the time. I was finally gonna beat this thing. too bad, that was not the case. now i cant have that spirit in my life, no more continual happiness for me until i start to beat this again. but im looking up. this will be the time. no more eexcuses. no more slips. no more relapses. only me, God, and the atonement of Christ. Because this, this was the last time. the last time im gonna mess up. im done with this addiction. for good.

-chis

Comments:

So many times    
"I have said, "This is the last time!"...and meant it. Now, I just take it a day at a time. Chis, you've walked ten miles into the woods, it will take you ten miles to get out of the woods. But you can enjoy the journey.

Been going to meetings? Have a sponsor?

Good luck on your journey. You can do this, with God's help."
posted at 05:24:10 on November 10, 2013 by Anonymous
Good luck to you    
"I hope for you that was your last time. I am in a similar situation, 10 days sober wanting to not go back, finding that Satan is hitting me double time trying to pull me off all the more. As I said I hope this was the last time for you. I am realizing that as I have gone to meetings for five years now that there is something in my hear that needs to be fixed first, before I can go on any more than a few days or months. I don't know what that change includes or requires, but as you said I am also hopeful that my last episode is behind me, more with the hope that the Savior can change my heart and give me a new softer heart kinder and not longing after anything that chases away the Spirit. Best wishes"
posted at 19:58:10 on November 11, 2013 by sjanderson
messed up again, getting real sick of this    
"Guys, thank you for your comments, they are very helpful and appreciated.

Bad news: i did mess up again. Hard. total binge, took less than 10 minutes to mess up a whole weeks worth of staying sober.

Also, it seems that instead of staying clean for more days after my record, i seem to be getting on the downward slope again. bad news.

But i have a question real quick for all of you; are we really doing something wrong that needs to be changed in order to overcome our trials? or is it just not time for us to stop yet? maybe the Lord thinks we havent learned true faith yet, or need to build our testimony. but really?, is it something that we're doing wrong, or is it something greater, that we cannot comprehend? antway, thank you guys for your comments, and your kind words, maybe ill do it this time.

-chis"
posted at 00:38:50 on November 15, 2013 by chiswright
talk    
"Chris,

It is ok. You got another flat tire, so to speak, on your journey of life. So what? Change the tire and move on! You sound hopeful and that is exactly what you need! This is not about not slipping. This is just about turning your life over to Christ.

It was mentioned else where on here this week, (I forget where) but watch this talk:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLXr9it_pbY

Especially the part where he talks about messing up, again, and again, and again...

There is nothing to worry about my friends. Just keep trying. That is all any of us have."
posted at 05:08:26 on November 15, 2013 by maddy
how long?    
"How long have you taught your body and mind that porn & mb are an acceptable way to cope with life? You can't retrain your mind and body in a day. The habit is too strong.

You need new habits, and they take at least 30-90 days to build, IF you have someone training you. Do you even know what else you could be doing to cope with life? What can replace the chemicals and the high you get from your drug? What habits will keep you from craving your drug of choice? How long will it take you to develop those habits? What does recovery look like to you? Are you only in recovery if you are perfect? What if you are progressing? Do you expect that you will stop desiring sex if God heals you? If not, what do you plan to do when your sex drive turns on?

If you had 1 week clean, that's awesome! This week, you are 7-1, that's a great record for any sports team. It's sad you lost, but losing doesn't mean the season is over. You are not 0-1. You are 7-1. Get back up and take it one day at a time. Make it 8-1 today."
posted at 06:53:20 on November 15, 2013 by beclean
Yes, recovery tasks time    
"My sponsor told me to expect 3-5 years. But recovery is a way of life and is an ongoing , lifetime, sort of thing"
posted at 11:55:27 on November 15, 2013 by Anonymous
Yes, recovery tasks time    
"My sponsor told me to expect 3-5 years. But recovery is a way of life and is an ongoing , lifetime, sort of thing"
posted at 11:55:48 on November 15, 2013 by Anonymous


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"One of the false notions of our society is that we are victims of our appetites and passions. But the truth is that the body is controlled by the spirit which inhabits it."

— Terrance D. Olson

“Teaching Morality to Your Children,” Ensign, Mar. 1981