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I am an addict
By maverick001
10/23/2013 11:42:51 PM
I never thought I would become an addict. But I have been an addict for a long time already. I started watching porn when I was 15. It has been 10 years already, and I feel ashamed of what I have become.

When I first started watching porn, I would watch soft core porn, and I would not have a desire to masturbate. After being done watching I would always feel awful about myself and I would not come back to it for a few months.

Things progressed and I started watching hard core porn. Still no desire to masturbate. However, I would feel somewhat bad about myself.

Things escalated over the years, and now I don't feel bad when I watch porn. I mean, I feel bad that I'm failing but I don't feel terrible as I used to feel when I first started.

During this dark period of my life, I lost a beautiful fiancee. She found out about my addiction and left me. I don't blame her for it.
Porn has debilitated my senses and I feel pretty hopeless everyday regardless of the prayers I say.

Recently I started dating a girl. Because of her example, I'm trying to put my life back in order. But I think that since I have been addicted to porn for 10 years, this won't be an easy task to do.

I don't know what to do. I don't even want to post an entry, but I feel I should. I feel that somehow, this will help me.

Comments:

Start by going to your bishop    
"and read Mosiah 5:2 for hope (to become like those who had "lost all disposition to do evil and had only the disposition to do good continually). The only way to become like that is through the direct intervention of the powers of Christ's atoning sacrifice. You cannot do this by yourself.

Enlist the aid of your bishop, and get a 12-Step Manual, and go to LDS recovery meetings and start working the steps. Please keep coming back to this site and let us know how you're doing. Keep praying and read the scriptures daily. No one particular thing by itself will get you past this, but by getting all the help you can and relying on the mercies of the Savior, you will eventually be empowered to overcome this. It might take some time, but it's worth it.

We are your cheering section here. We endeavor to encourage each other, so welcome to the site. Good luck with your dating but remember to be totally honest if things start to get serious. She has a right to know your situation if it gets to that point where you're both considering marriage."
posted at 11:24:05 on October 24, 2013 by dog
Make drastic changes    
"You're wasting your life away to a device and online content. Think about that for a second.

Because we as Mormons have strong moral compasses, we are filled with guilt and regret when we indulge in porn. But other people can do it and be done with it. We know its a sin and has consequences, so we feel bad about it. Oddly enogh this actually makes outr addictions worse because guilt is not of God.

From bro to bro: Man-Up. You're being kind of a wimp. You'll probably get touchy feely comments but I just hope you wake up. This isn't practice or a demo, this is LIFE. You're in the critical years for success in you're whole life. This addiction is a handicap but you don't realize the severity of it.

What whatever it takes to make drastic changes right NOW. Go to your bishop, go to addiction meetings, get ride of you smartphone and tablets. Follow whatever instructions your bishop has and change. Another decade will pass and your addiction will become a lifestyle.

good luck dude."
posted at 01:38:23 on October 25, 2013 by mint
Wow...    
"Come on Mint. Man-Up? Wake-up? That's your advice? Have you even read the 12-step manual?

Someone comes to this site looking for help and you tell them to bury the emotions they're probably already trying to numb with addiction anyway. I seriously hope you're not currently sponsoring anyone."
posted at 10:03:56 on October 25, 2013 by Anonymous
Cont'd.    
"Same anon as above.

I had to add that I do agree with your last paragraph."
posted at 10:05:18 on October 25, 2013 by Anonymous
Guilt v. Shame    
"Guilt is OK. Shame is not.

Guilt (Godly sorrow) says, "I did it. I admit, I broke the eternal law. I am not perfect. I don't really care if people know it, I just want it to be right again." But God himself has paid the price, so there isn't to much more than confess that we have to do (at least where porn and masturbation are concerned). So, we can give Christ this sin, which causes us sorrow and frustration, and move on. We can get back up and keep going. We can be happy again.

Shame says, "I did it, and now I'm a dirty, unlovable, disgusting, worthless piece of crap that no one would ever want to hang out with or love. I'm the only one who has problems, or at least my problems are way larger than anyone else. I better not tell anyone, or they will know what I really am. This will never change." And we wallow in self pity and continue to hide our sins without making any progress.

Maverick, you are a child of God with INFINITE worth. You are being taken care of. Trust God. He loves you enough to sacrifice his son for you. You are more than enough to him. You don't have to be perfect. You can admit to people that you are flawed. They don't expect you to be perfect. They (especially your bishop) will help you and love you. Be honest with them and seek help. It's OK to need help. We all need the help of the Savior. He has paid the price for your sins. You're going to be OK as you turn to him. Of course, he probably won't heal you instantly and take away this thorn in your flesh immediately. But, if you keep turning to him and admitting your faults and asking him to make you better every day, and if you never give up, you just keep getting up, he WILL guide you down the right road. You are worth it. He will lead you back to himself."
posted at 11:45:14 on October 25, 2013 by beclean


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"Brothers and sisters, stay on the straight and narrow path. No, stay in the middle of the straight and narrow path. Don't drift; don't wander; don't dabble; be careful. Remember, do not flirt with evil. Stay out of the devil's territory. Do not give Satan any home-field advantage. Living the commandments will bring you the happiness that too many look for in other places. "

— Larry W. Gibbons

General Conference October 2006