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It's a start
By norcal
10/18/2013 4:29:05 PM
I am told that I should journal. I don't really want to or like to. But I will give it a shot.

I have been sober for 475 days now. Much of the time I have better and without compulsive urges. Or in other words, happier sober than not.

The past 2-3 months I have felt like on a plateau. I worked hard the first year to learn a lot and grow. I focused so much time and effort into my recovery. the past two months I have focused more on positive interests, but not necessarily addition based. I think I got bored of the addiction stuff. I also didn't want it to become my whole life. Now that I have some sobriety, and feel some freedom from the obsession, I really don't want to obsess on it through recovery. But I need to make sure I don't slip. So I have to figure out the balance.

Comments:

Passing the torch    
"I have heard so many people say what you are saying. I have said it, my husband has said it, and I believe most everyone one here have at least felt it, but there is another way of thinking about recovery materials and 12 step meetings, journal writing, etc.
We go through so much when dealing with addiction and co-addiction, but as much as I don't want to believe this I do believe that our addictions are by design. Because Father in Heaven is the God of the Universe, He knows our weaknesses. In fact he sent us here with them on purpose. He gave us our weaknesses so that we would need to partake of the Grace of Christ, His atonement, and His sacrifice on the cross. If we didn't have this addiction, why would we even have need for a Savior? I believe it is all tied together.
We are here to lift and help one another, to guide and be guided. It is so important that we not only stay sober, but that we embrace it in our lives. All of that boring stuff we need to do in the form of dailies is really what keeps us tied to our Father in Heaven, AKA our Higher Power.
Obsessing over addiction is a slippery slope. I believe there is a term for obsessing when we are sober. It is called white knuckling. Knowing that we need to continue on in our daily work is so important, else who is there to encourage the newcomer? We must do the work and when we do it right, we will want to carry the torch for the next person who feels no hope, just as we once felt.
When we experience full healing and heartfelt recovery, we become transparent and wholehearted people. We might even say that we are grateful for our addictions and the trials that come with it. That is not where I am always, but that is what I am shooting for.
Congrats on your sobriety. It stands as a witness of what God can do for His children. The true gift of sobriety is the service we give to others. This addiction kills souls, breaks families, and keeps many in darkness for much of their lives. Being there is about so much more than our problems and our remedies. I pray all of us can be in the place of service. Taking the sorrow and pain this is causing and making something beautiful out of it in the form of reaching out is Heavenly. I love my Father in Heaven and want to do his will. When I see this as the natural woman, I want to scream” Why me God? But when he shows me that he trusts me to take this out of my pain, and my own healing and hold the torch for the next person, I have to believe He is building me into something better than I could have ever imagined. I’m still waiting on him, but I have to believe."
posted at 18:35:18 on October 18, 2013 by angelmom
We get a daily reprieve contigent on our spiritual condition.    
"We are not "cured" of our disease. It's normal (and dangerous) to get to a place of complacency and think we have hit a plateau. What is really happening is we are working on our next relapse. We are either "in" recovery or we are slowly reverting back towards a slip. This can be a wake up call for you. You are waving the red flags that precede every relapse...
Living "In" recovery is not the same as "obsessing" on recovery."
posted at 19:03:25 on October 18, 2013 by Anonymous


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"If, through our unrighteous choices, we have lost our footing on that path, we must remember the agency we were given, agency we may choose to exercise again. I speak especially to those overcome by the thick darkness of addiction. If you have fallen into destructive, addictive behaviors, you may feel that you are spiritually in a black hole. As with the real black holes in space, it may seem all but impossible for light to penetrate to where you are. How do you escape? I testify the only way is through the very agency you exercised so valiantly in your premortal life, the agency that the adversary cannot take away without your yielding it to him. "

— Robert D. Hales

General Conference, April 2006