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"Is there no other way?"
By g1rlie
10/12/2013 5:09:10 PM
I've asked myself this question a lot..the question that seems to have been asked since the beginning of time. Maybe for me, there isn't another way, since I've tried all of the other ways I can think of to overcome. Guess I've got to throw myself into the SA program and steps a lot more than I have been.

Basically, receiving that letter from my former acting out partner really was a setback for me. I Allowed it to be a setback for me. Quit going to meetings and working the program, and began isolating a lot. As a result, been feeling pretty miserable. On the positive, I did not send this man the inappropriate pictures he requested. Nor did I get a secret phone like he requested. No Thank You to further involvement with him. It would kill me spiritually, and maybe even physically. My grandfather died from this addiction, and it's been said that this dis-ease is genetic, so I realize this possibility.

But throughout all of this, God has not forgotten me. I know this. How do I know? Because I went to a convention for SA this weekend (left a little early, but I went). It gave me some hints on what I need to to do live a sober life. Right now, I'm still experiencing the cravings and obsession that Joe and Charlie talked about. My cravings and obsession are with lust, as I am a sexaholic who is powerless over lust.

One good thing that came out of the convention is I may have found a sponsor that can better help me work the steps. Yay :). My current sponsor seems to have way too many sponsees and seems uncomfortable sponsoring a female (even though he is gay). So this change seems like it will be a good one.

It was also encouraging to me that more women are finding the chairs of SA. This is encouraging to me because it's not a good feeling, feeling like you are the sole woman with this problem (apparently a lot of women seem to feel this way) and a freak of nature or something. Plus,the importance of helping the sexaholic who still suffers was talked about a lot in the meetings. So, it appears it is unwise for me to just attend the meetings for my benefit, alone.

Additionally, I was reminded that I need to get to more meetings. Hopefully, my body can handle doing this...already feel like I'm on the edge of exhaustion. But in one of the groups today, we talked about how working the program can help you have more energy, so I'll see what happens.

So...gonna make some changes. Looking forward for the cravings and obsession to go away. And grateful to God for watching out for me and still loving me even though I am so imperfect.

Yay!

Comments:

It works if you work it    
"I wish I could have been at the conference. I thoroughly enjoyed it last year. I moved out of state, and probably won't be back for a while. Luckily, the SA groups here are pretty awesome. The only downside is that none of them are members.

I'm glad that you are active in the program. I've seen SA help people so much. My sponsor feels strongly that the Lord inspired the original founders in laying out the 12 steps, and I think I agree with him.

Good luck with getting a new sponsor. I think it probably is best to have a sponsor you can relate to. My sponsor and I are very similar in terms of addiction and recovery which has helped us understand each other. Having a good sponsor is definitely crucial to recovery."
posted at 13:13:01 on October 15, 2013 by ETTE


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"If it were possible to make your road very easy, you wouldn’t grow in strength. If you were always forgiven for every mistake without effort on your part, you would never receive the blessings of repentance. If everything were done for you, you wouldn’t learn how to work, or gain self-confidence, or acquire the power to change. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990