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Stay away from the edge
By jakey
10/8/2013 6:30:47 PM
I don't want to get preachy here but I feel that I have got my prn addiction under control. Maybe that is too optimistic. At least I am not spiraling out of control. I have really tried to stay away from anything that leads to soft porn. I have tried my best to stop checking out people "of the same gender." I have found that if I just grit my teeth and look away the feeling passes.

I have seen where unchecked feelings can lead. I went to an LDS university (I won't say which one) where one of my professors was gay. We all knew it and thought it was kind of funny. The irony for me because I was going through the same thing yet I had a girlfriend so I guess no one suspected. He had guy magazines in his desk and we would see him check out other guys. He died a few years back. The rumor was that he had AIDS. He lost his job and his family. It was very sad. Now I am about the same age as him when I knew him. I always wondered that, like him, that my feelings would intensify as I get older because I am constantly repressing them. Thankfully I have not acted on my feelings with others. I have it in my mind that once I cross over a certain line that I could lose everything. That gives me motivation to pray for guidance and the strength to stay away from anything that can lead me down that gulf of misery and endless woe.

I have spoken to my Bishop about it and I am seeking counseling.
Its a struggle.

Comments:

Hang in there    
"There is hope for every man and woman. Be patient with yourself. <3"
posted at 12:08:05 on October 10, 2013 by Anonymous
Agency    
"You can choose your own fate. I really believe that. You do not have to die from AIDS. You do not have to act out with another person outside the bonds of (heterosexual) marriage. You can be happy and follow the commandments.

SGA (Same Gender Attraction) is a lonely issue to deal with. Several of my friends from group attend the church's support group for SGA, Evergreen. That's probably worth looking into."
posted at 08:50:38 on October 11, 2013 by ETTE
Fantastic news    
"This is wonderful! Thank you for sharing your success.

One word of caution that I would give you is, in my experience, when I feel like I am doing well is the time that Satan sneaks up on me and hits me the hardest. Make sure you are diligent with doing what works so it doesn't stop working.

It is so wonderful to have the positive things shared so that we can all feel a little more hope and encouragement."
posted at 09:13:47 on October 11, 2013 by maddy
North Star International    
"North Star is another great resource. They have some great videos of people who struggle with SSA and who choose to live the gospel."
posted at 17:01:53 on October 12, 2013 by matt78
Tnanks    
"Thanks for all your support. I think my post was a little gloomy. 95% of the time I have these unwanted SSA feelings under control. But 5% of the time unwanted stimuli can be overwhelming and I really have to control my thoughts to get past it."
posted at 21:12:43 on October 12, 2013 by jakey
Jakey    
"I'm curious what type of thoughts and feelings you think are too strong or very wrong? I personally think I have a slight same-gender attraction because of the porn that I've watched. But I don't want to be with a guy. U do recognize a guy that is good looking, but I don't dwell on it. Honestly I think sexuality is pretty funny because we might sometimes make it a bigger deal than what it is. Idk. But I am curious what type of thoughts you have."
posted at 10:35:40 on October 13, 2013 by Anonymous
Troll    
"Alert!"
posted at 23:07:18 on October 13, 2013 by Anonymous
Type of Thoughts    
"I know what you are saying and that is something we all experience. My SSA thoughts, feelings, and desires go beyond what you are experiencing. My prn issue (of the past) is primarily SSA. I knew I had this attraction when I was young."
posted at 13:37:57 on October 14, 2013 by jakey


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"The excuse is given that it is hard to avoid, that it is right at our fingertips and there is no escape. Suppose a storm is raging and the winds howl and the snow swirls about you. You find yourself unable to stop it. But you can dress properly and seek shelter, and the storm will have no effect upon you. Likewise, even though the Internet is saturated with material, you do not have to watch it. You can retreat to the shelter of the gospel and its teaching of cleanliness and virtue and purity of life. "

— Gordon B. Hinckley

General Conference, October 2004