Repentance w/o bishop?
By Created
9/10/2013 5:18:28 PM
My dad is my current bishop and the last thing I want to do is tell him about my mb addiction/previous porn problem. I have enough willpower to stop cold turkey if I know that there is a way out of this without telling him. Is there something else other than the advice that a bishop has that is required for repentance? Is it possible to completely repent without him? As long as I have no issues from now on and I repent like any other sin?


"Can you tell us why you are so afraid of talking to your dad about this? "
posted at 21:08:05 on September 10, 2013 by Anonymous
"I think you know the answers to all your questions, but you don't like the answer very much so you're asking for something different. I can't tell you how many times in a day I do the same thing. We are two peas in a pod, you and I when it comes to that! Can we be real for just a second? Normally, I like to take my time in writing a response and say things nicely, but I am just going to be blunt for you.

First, you can always go to the Stake President if you really, really don't feel ok about going to your dad.

Having said that, why don't you want to go to your dad? Sounds dumb because who wants to go to your parents about masturbation and pornography, but besides the stigma and fear, he is your dad! and he loves you more than any other Bishop would. Why not him?

And FWIIW, if your dad was not your Bishop I would encourage you to tell him. You need support people in this and family is the best where possible. You'd be surprised.

For sexual sins you need to go to priesthood authority and have confession as part of the repentance process. Period. I do not fully understand why and some Bishops handle things better than others....they are just men after all....but I do know that it is an important and valuable step. It isn't the Bishops advice that is necessary for repentance. In fact, the Bishop, himself, has very little to do with it IMO.

The humility and courage it takes to walk into that office brings us closer to our Heavenly Father. It is symbolic. It is powerful. It is us laying our pride on the alter of sacrifice and it is our PRIDE that got us in to trouble in the first place. It wasn't porn or masturbation that was the was pride all along.

I have a feeling that someone else here will respond to your comment about having the willpower to stop cold turkey. If you can stop this very second, then for your sake, please do. No matter what happens with or without your dad.

Created - you know what you need to do. I bet you even know that it would make your world tons better. Let me just end by saying that nothing, absolutely nothing, should keep you away from laying this burden down. No fear. No person. No pride. Nothing. Do not let anything get in the way. It just isn't worth it. Do what is right and let the consequence follow. If it is be it. Jesus Christ already paid this debt for you. All you need to do is walk in His footsteps and do as He has asked. Submit in all things. Trust that it is for your sake. Confession is not a punishment. It is a tool for liberation. It is for US!!!!!! because a loving Heavenly Father knows what we need... even when we fight Him and try to find another way."
posted at 21:15:23 on September 10, 2013 by maddy
i feel you man    
"Bro, i am in the same situation, except i have already confessed to my dad/bishop twice, and i promise you, the addiction gets a lot easier. Even though i still havent conquered my addiction, nor worked up the courage to tell him again, when i have confessed before it has brought that warm feeling back into my heart, and helped me along, even if it is just for a week.

btw, about stopping cold turkey. If you havent tried yet, do it as soon as possible. You need to get over this, and if you can totally end this, do it. but 99% of the time, you think you can, and you cant stop cold turkey. and thats the kicker.

Just a quote to finish things off: "God does not have the power to make a capable man willing, but has the power to make a willing man capable." i promise you, if you have the total willpower and truly cry unto the Lord for help like nephi did when asking if the gospel is true, (1 nephi 2:16) he will help you, bless you, and help you make the right decision wether to tell your dad or not.

best of luck, and remember that God loves you, no matter what
posted at 22:34:04 on September 10, 2013 by chiswright
If you have to wonder...    
"Hey buddy, tough situation - but a rule I have always gone by is if I have to wonder if I should talk to the bishop or not about something, particular if I'm wrestling about it, it usually means that I need to. Earlier on it was scary, but afterwards I thought, "why wouldn't I want to talk to my bishop about it? he'll just help."

Similarly, think about when you have a son, would you not want him to come and talk to you if he had a problem? Would you not want to help him? How would you respond?

Also, beware the "I can quit if I want to..." It's a classic fallacy that we addicts love to repeat. Good luck with your endeavors, don't be afraid to reach out."
posted at 00:15:03 on September 12, 2013 by recovery.gdo

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"Brothers and sisters, let's sell that summer cottage in Babylon. Let us be not "almost" but "altogether" Latter-day Saints. "

— Larry W. Gibbons

General Conference October 2006