A Life Changing Experience
By Draffon
8/26/2013 1:04:36 AM
Where to begin with the struggles in my life? I can safely say the difficulties in my life began by being raped by my biological uncle and his friend at a young age. It got worse when I was called a liar by the two people that should have been protecting me: my biological mother and grandmother. Of course, I was taken to numerous psychologists and therapists to keep me from acting out. However, I began acting out and was a very disturbed child. I was always in trouble and very hyper. I was taken in by a woman that I thought would be the mother that I needed. This person turned out to be a fake and a manipulator.
Coming of age, I was very rebellious and had no desire to attend church meetings. I was roughly 12-13 years old when I first got into pornography. As a result, I made friends with other teens outside the church and they introduced me to pornography via magazines and tapes. At first I thought there was nothing wrong with it. There was even a time I asked my best friend to find a girl that I could have inappropriate relations with in my teens. High school was an eye opener to reality and scantily dressed girls.
High school ended in a very bad way for me; I was expelled due to looking at dirty sites on an adult education computer. This made me realize that I did in fact have an addiction to pornography and I had to finish school by being taught at home. Upon leaving high school, I immediately joined the Army and was exposed to a whole new world of evils. Bad language, inappropriate talk, and images.
I was married in 2005 and during my marriage I was continuing my addiction to the point that it consumed me. For a while I had it under control until I deployed to Iraq and came back even worse from PTSD and a lack of church. The military is filled with the evils of the world and the adversary controls this aspect greatly. As a result, I fell into this world and lost my marriage.
After my wife left me, I engaged in inappropriate relationships with women that were sexual and devastating to my spiritual life. I went from bad relationship to bad relationship with no regard to what I was doing and how it affected my eternal soul. After my divorce was final, I entered into more relationships that failed because I was not focused on getting better and trying to make a difference in my life.
I recently went through a terrible break up that left me feeling empty and wanting to never go into a relationship again. However, she made me realize that I had to get better and pushed me actively into changing. I came upon the addiction blog through the addiction recovery website as well as my father's advice. I felt very closed off to the idea of a blog and sharing my addiction with others. I did so despite my feelings of frustration and hopelessness of being an addict. I stumbled across a blog by someone named KickIt and his posts about unclean spirits. Upon further research and a horrible breakup I decided to pursue having these spirits cast out. Almost immediately after my break up, my father cast an unclean spirit out of me that opened my eyes. Upon the spirit being cast out of me I felt like something was torn from me and I immediately felt calm and peaceful. It was literally like a shadow had been lifted from me.
Since the unclean spirit has been cast out of me, I have become a completely renewed and different person. I no longer have compulsions to look at material that the church says to stay away from. I can focus and my mind is my own. My language changed immediately and I have been praying and researching conference talks in the past few weeks.


"Thanks for sharing. Keep us updated! Welcome to the site."
posted at 10:23:09 on August 26, 2013 by beclean
Spiritual Triumph!    
"Well done!

When I had an unclean spirit clung to my back I was feeling so down, depressed and insecure. I am so grateful to the spiritually discerning priesthood holder that recognised in a blessing he was giving me the influence of Satan and he rebuked him and told him to depart. I felt like a weight lift from off my shoulders and my depression and insecurities fled with the evil spirit.

I will never forget that feeling going from complete and utter sadness, depression and despair to feeling like a huge burden had been lifted. After that when I felt down I would and still do, rebuke unclean spirits about me and command them to leave. As a result I soon feel better.

You and Your Father are very spiritually discerning people and I do know as you continue to rebuke the unclean spirits and strive to live righteously you will go from strength to strength and the Lord with bless you with the righteous desires of your heart.

May God Bless You and open the Heavens upon you!"
posted at 21:02:25 on August 26, 2013 by Aussie
"Well it just simply felt like something was torn from me, like a Jekyll and Hyde effect. As for believing unclean spirits I talked to a few others in my life that have researched it. Before I was burdened with compulsions and darkness, now I feel happier and my language has changed immediately as well as the compulsions have gone away completely. Life just feels easier."
posted at 20:48:38 on August 29, 2013 by Draffon
kick it    
"How many times must someone tell you? It's not your story or his that is ridiculed or ignored. Hardly anyone disbelieves your experience or would ridicule it for a moment. And please notice that the FIRST comment on this page was complete acceptance, not ridicule or ignoring.

It's the WAY you share your belief that gets everyone upset, as if you have the only truth, the only way to overcome, as if your theory will work for everyone because it worked for you, as if we're all idiots with faulty "preconceived notions," and as if you were the only "TRUE addict."

What the hell is that supposed to mean, anyway?

If you think what I said was offensive, forgive me. I'm trying to help. Your message is a great one with an important place on this site, But Please read what you just wrote again. It reeks of, "none of you have a clue what you're talking about, I'm better than you, and I am going to use Draffon to my own personal advantage and rub it in your face" pride.

We completely believe your story. I would think you would be a little more humble about the miracle you've received. God did it, not Kick It. Consequently, NONE of us can choose to do it for ourselves. We must pray in faith and hope that one day it will happen for us. (My bishop wouldn't even consider the possibility that I might have an unclean spirit.) Until then, please stop punishing us for continuing to sin. Some of us still have many more years of sinning before we get to the point you were before God swooped in and delivered you. And, as has been pointed out, some have more sobriety using different methods. How about a little love, compassion, and understanding?

I love your story, Kick It. Keep sharing your personal experience. But don't let it make you better than the rest of us, because then we can't learn from you."
posted at 16:37:39 on August 31, 2013 by beclean
I'm fine with you saying it until I'm blue    
"What's frustrating is you think we are not receptive to your idea that we might have an unclean spirit. I personally believe most of us ARE receptive to that idea.

You think we are attacking you for your ideas, notions, and beliefs. I personally don't believe any of us are attacking your suggestions.

Your message is not ruined by what you say. It's entirely how you say it.

But, admittedly, you are getting better at how you say things. This time, my frustration with your posts is not your ideas, and it's not really your delivery, it's that you seem to think all our past resistence has been against your ideas. That's just not true."
posted at 01:20:02 on September 1, 2013 by beclean
Kick it    
"Maybe some of us just figured that you were draffon"
posted at 10:21:33 on September 1, 2013 by Anonymous
"That got me thinking anon. I'm starting to wonder if he's not President Paternoster. Their writing styles are similar. I'm not kidding either.

...and it's got me thinking more. I wan't apologize for my resistance Kickit. And thank you for standing up for truth and righteousness in these latter days. What with all this worldly thinking swirling around our heads. Your words are a beacon of truth and light. I think every one here at ldsar should feel to sing your praises just as this young lady sung the praises of her faithful Stake President. President Paternoster...or should I say Kickit?..:

"Thank you so much for standing up for the truth and not being shy in condemning the false doctrines of our day. Your blog has helped so many come unto Christ and I want you to know that your words are often used to provide clarification during Church meetings in our Young Single Adult ward. We have a saying in our ward "What Would President Paternoster Do?" (or WWPPD for short), which helps us during times of temptation to stay on the straight and narrow path towards eternal life. I believe it is every worthy sisters dream to one day meet and marry a priesthood holder as faithful and valiant, not to mention as handsome, as you. "

WWKD. What would Kickit do. Has a certain ring to it.

P.s. You don't need to explain why you had to come to us under the guise of this Kickit username and not P.P. himself. Our faith must be tried in all things. Of cause we would have immediately followed your counsel had we known it was you."
posted at 11:06:38 on September 1, 2013 by they_speak
I'm uncomfortable    
"Let's play nice. Let's speak our thoughts and call people's BS, but let's not be mean or petty. Everyone here has infinite worth."
posted at 15:39:58 on September 1, 2013 by beclean
Me too!    
"That's why I just have to joke and laugh it off when Kickit gets in his passive aggressive, self promoting, accusatory mode. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable dude.

It just seems like the only thing that will satisfy this guy is if we all just gobbled up everything he say's and applied his counsel whole sale. No questions. So, i'm just going to give the man what he want's. Of course I'm not serious. But, he doesn't listen when we are serious or sincere. So what's the difference?"
posted at 16:46:42 on September 1, 2013 by they_speak
"Seriously? You're uncomfortable? Geez...This is not an insult so take it how you want. When You have a lot of decent stuff to say. But when I read your comments I think... this guy is the opposite of down-to-earth.
I would want someone to tell me. I don't know. Your post just hit me the wrong way. I seriously thought your first post was more mean spirited than theyspeaks. He was just funnin""
posted at 20:04:06 on September 1, 2013 by Anonymous
"I'm sorry you're embarrassed for having posted from an anti-mormon blog aimed at poking fun of our culture and getting called out on it. Before I learned to check my sources I felt and responded exactly like you when I got caught with lack luster logic or weak claims. Ad-hominem arguments and approaches were my first resort just like yours is now. The resentment towards those who'd called me out was almost overwhelming. I can hear the same resentment and embarrassment with your situation in your words and actions. You sound just like me. That's why you're attacking me the way you are now. That's exactly why you didn't address it over on the other thread and instead came over here to make yourself feel better. It's exactly what I would have done. Basic animal instinct to preserve the ego. Run. Attack. I know exactly the anger you feel Kickit. I really do. No seriously I really do lol. It's coming through very clearly. I've went through the same thing. I truly...well, meh, I don't really feel for you it's not that big of a deal.

But I do understand and know what it's like to feel like a joke. I know how to fix it and we've all been trying to help you for months now. But, just like me I guess you're just going to have to figure this one out on your own."
posted at 05:44:21 on September 2, 2013 by they_speak
They Speak    
"Now that you mention it, I think I remember you doing that stuff long ago. You have tamed down the ego very much. Like all of us, Kick It will understand, just give it time. Be patient with him, he's new at this . How many times have we heard the same thing and it is very real, but when ego and pride take over that is when the next crash comes. Each crash is just another step in the right direction."
posted at 11:01:13 on September 2, 2013 by Anonymous
They Speak / Anon    
"What anti-Mormon blog did kick it quote from?

Is President Parternoster or whatever his name is really a self-righteous troll and imposter?

I am not saying I am right, just asking, are you Anon or is it girlie because it sounds so familiar / similar?

Do you know What crash Anon is talking about?

Is this site meant to hinder or help people?

I think this is becoming tit for tat plus it seems like a tag team situation?

Don't worry I am constantly asking Kick it to be kind and try not to ruffle peoples feathers so to speak lol u know the duck he is always talking about. I will continue to encourage kindness.

I really think that you are a strong person and I can see why Satan does not want to let go of you

I am really happy for girlie getting her temple recommend back. This is 'Great!" for her and her wonderful husband / family

Both you and Anon have basically said that Kick it is: self-righteous, prideful, a joke, full of pride, attacking, resentful, embarrassed, aversive, angry, egotistical and is going to crash.

You forgot one thing that most people after being called all that may feel and that is suicidal but he is not thankfully.

We may disagree on certain issues but can't we be more Christ like about it?

May God bless us all in a righteous strivings!"
posted at 18:43:38 on September 2, 2013 by Aussie
Stab's in the dark    
"Aussie, that's not Girlie. Maybe the force is just stronger with me but I'm assuming it isn't because if you've paid attention there has been an anon or multiple anons (I think it's only one though) that has mentioned repeatedly how Kickit is new to the program and to give him time. Or sentiments along those lines. That anon has been saying that since Kickit showed up. Their writing style has been pretty consistent. My guess is it's someone with more (a lot more?) recovery and experience than Kickit or me. I can feel it or get that impression by the way they talk. But I could be wrong. He/she was posting that back when Girlie was posting all the time under her user name. I believe she even said, back then, she doesn't post anonymously. Not only that but I think the behavior of mine the anon is referencing is before Girlies time. But, again, I've been wrong before. Maybe it's Girlie. I'm sure she'd tell us. Girlie?, that you?

The crash he's referencing is the scripturally guaranteed crash that comes to all the prideful. Non of us can conjecture how that crash will play out for Kickit or any of us. But the great and spacious building with in all of us must fall. And does fall. Over and over and over.

Phony blog: yes, maybe you didn't read both Beclean and I explained in the other thread that Parternoster is a hilarious laughable sham. Well, BC didn't think it was a laughing matter. But, I kind of did. It's okay, I'm used to Kickit not reading/seeing what I or anyone says. So no surprise you're still catching up to speed there.

And don't worry, Kickit has called us all those things X2 and we're not suicidal either.

p.s. No. I can't be more Christ like. I have an unclean spirit remember? Exactly like Kickit did... Jk, I'll try."
posted at 19:19:21 on September 2, 2013 by they_speak
Aussie/Kick it    
"I think we all need to have a thick skin to survive on a blog like this. Maybe that's counter-productive but I think it is bound to get heady when you throw in a hundred addicts at various stages of recovery and then you add in the dry-drunks for good measure. Ha!
Kick it and Aussie, I think there might be a minor cultural disconnect between us and that is why I try to be pretty tolerant when I read your blogs. My bro went on a mission to Australia and he had some great stories of how incredibly bad-ass some of the Aussies were. Like in a good way...take no prisoners, etc. I kinda get that vibe from you guys. I also know that the opinions on things like the "philosophies of men" or "psychiatry" probably come from a place of extreme personal disappointment so I don't even try to argue those ones. I don't know you personally but please believe me when I say, I am trying to give you every benefit of every doubt. I don't like that you feel persecuted. I have wondered what must have happened to lead to you as a couple developing the "us against the world" mentality. I know it is hard to trust and join someone on their level because it makes you vulnerable. But that is how you allow yourself to be known and ultimately loved. I don't like the idea of you and your husband feeling persecuted but I have to turn it around for a minute and ask you both...Are you guys angry too? Are you angry with others because they have not met your expectations? Perhaps you expected people to act a certain way in reaction to a particular post or about the miracle you experienced. Have you then persecuted others for not joining you? You have said that you are motivated by the desire to help us. Maybe we can help each other. You two need to be loved. I hear a lot of pain and isolation behind your posts. Maybe you can learn about OUR miracle. It is called Grace. Maybe you could let us teach you about this extraordinary gift and the Steps we took to find it. It's a win-win."
posted at 23:56:38 on September 2, 2013 by Anonymous
No, I'm not girlie...    
"Ha! I take that as a compliment, though."
posted at 23:58:52 on September 2, 2013 by Anonymous
"I don't really feel hurt, more a desire to kick Satan's but because what he has done to me and my family. I have seen his handy work so much. I won't go into detail because it involves to much paranormal activity within my family especially in regards my daughter who suffers from schizophrenia.

Although I tend to get fairly passionate about certain subjects like this, I am normally all for people changing at their own pace and learning from their own mistakes. I am very laid back and actually would normally just give love and support. I have had to learn that in my life growing up with people suffering from alcoholism, other addictions, depression and personality disorders.

I am not saying for a minute that I am as good as Joseph Smith but I do understand how he felt when he knew that he had seen Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and most people did not believe him.

However this did not deter him from testifying of the truth of what he knew with boldness when he was called upon to do so. I feel the same way.

I feel that Heavenly Father has given me this knowledge to help other people. I know that you can only lead a horse to water so I am sorry if I have come across to forceful this was not my intention.

My husband is a thorough red blooded American. I am the Aussie.

God Bless!"
posted at 02:23:15 on September 3, 2013 by Aussie
Aussie and Kick it    
"I agree with everything you've just written. Except for a very few bloggers, I think we are all in agreement, guilt is good. It moves one to repentance. (Shame can be bad and paralyze you. Some would say it serves no good purpose.) As far as the philosophies of men, BY and JS said that "We claim truth...Wherever it is found." There is a lot of truth out there that I would have missed if I didn't explore literature outside the church library. Keep an open mind, my friends. I used to think an open mind was the enemy of the gospel. I have learned that a closed mind is the enemy of truth."
posted at 08:57:37 on September 3, 2013 by Anonymous
The Philosophies of P.P. > The Philosophies of Man    
"That makes sense...not. I will call you out on hypocrisy every time. You're drenched in it. I've noticed you still haven't apologized or admitted you were wrong..? I don't how you can manage so much hypocrisy without pride, the universal sin. Weird. But if you say so. Keep going to meetings and reading recovery literature both in and out of the church homes.

Square eggs, ha! I like that. One point for you."
posted at 10:24:32 on September 3, 2013 by they_speak
You Miss The Point    
posted at 15:30:44 on September 3, 2013 by they_speak
"Speak, you devil you! very very funny!!!"
posted at 17:42:29 on September 3, 2013 by Anonymous
Where is draffon?    
"Is he going to weigh in on his experience? I would hope after something this profound he would want to share more about his recovery."
posted at 17:50:28 on September 3, 2013 by Anonymous
They Speak    
"Can you please show me proof that this Stake President is an anti-Mormon and imposter?

I am confused I keep getting conflicting answers. You say he is an anti-Mormon and Kick it tells me he is not??

Although I didn't find his site or quotes, I will apologize if he is a true anti-Mormon

So can you please show me the proof?

posted at 17:57:33 on September 3, 2013 by Aussie
Didn't find his site huh?    
"( )

If that (his blog) is not a convincing enough testimony that he's a fraud/satirist you can hop over to exmormon dot org and see him making fun of TBM (totally brain washed mormons) commenting on his blog. I have the link if you'd like."
posted at 19:05:31 on September 3, 2013 by they_speak
The Passing of President Paternoster    
""It is with the deepest regret that I, Sister Paternoster, announce the sudden and unexpected passing of President William Lilburn Godfrey Paternoster.

He suffered a major heart attack today while sitting on the stand at Church waiting for sacrament meeting to start. We were visiting the local YSA branch when a small group of sisters entered the room. As Bill turned to them his smile quickly faded into a look of horror and he started to clutch his chest. I rushed to his side while the Branch President called an ambulance. Bill was pronounced dead upon arrival at the hospital.

He will be sorely missed by family, friends, the faithful members of his Stake and readers of this blog.

The sisters in question feel awful for rebelling against the Brethren. They have promised to never again wear pants to Church."

Hahaha! Are you sure this dude isn't you Kickit???"
posted at 19:25:55 on September 3, 2013 by they_speak
Thanks They speak    
"I went to the link that you gave me and found confusion and kaos. It does seem that whomever this person is (obviously not a stake president) he does quote from scripture and knows what church leaders have quoted on in regards to certain issues.

However he has put an old fashioned flavor on his blogs to ruffle feathers and cause commotion. I wasn't the one that found his blogs in the first place or even knew his name. If he is a anti-Mormon it seems that so many people keep going on and on about him that they have given him so much lime light and attention and now are showing so much disregard for the actual quotes he has mentioned in his blogs that come from our leaders (similar to what Miley Sirus is doing in the opposite way) and it seems it has become a very old and stale joke to me. So many still trying to impersonate him?

I can see why Kick it may of thought that he was legit because he does quote from church leaders and scriptures but you are right, They Speak, he seems to be a prankster. I really feel that he was trying to make light of revelation from God and causing confusion and outrage by the way he has relayed those sacred and inspired revelations from our church leaders. So yes I would have to agree he must be an anti-Mormon.

You were right! By him making light of inspired revelation and causing so much outrage he has in a way given people the opportunity to make light of those sacred laws and ordinances we need to observe in order to become righteous and make it back to our Father in Heaven. He is more cunning than I thought!"
posted at 18:18:20 on September 4, 2013 by Aussie
"What was stated in this blog was made by me; a person desparate and at his last wit. KickIt helped open my eyes to all of this and because of it I am a new person. This is made by a completely different person in the world and one that wants others to see what unclean spirits can do and that they are with us. I will be posting another blog today and I will tell you all what life has been for me in the past month."
posted at 19:58:28 on September 5, 2013 by Draffon

Add a Comment:

***Anonymous User***     (login above to post UN-anonymously)

"Each one who resolves to climb that steep road to recovery must gird up for the fight of a lifetime. But a lifetime is a prize well worth the price. This challenge uniquely involves the will, and the will can prevail. Healing doesn’t come after the first dose of any medicine. So the prescription must be followed firmly, bearing in mind that it often takes as long to recover as it did to become ill. But if made consistently and persistently, correct choices can cure. "

— Russell M. Nelson

General Conference, October 1988