Take it one day at a time
By ichooselife
8/21/2013 12:10:49 PM
Step 1 - Action Step — Become willing to abstain
People never understand how difficult abstaining from an addiction is until they have to. I have tried probably a thousand or more times to stop. But this is asking for my "willingness" to abstain. It reminds me of Alma and comparing the word to a seed and he says something to the effect of "If you only have a desire to believe in these words, let that desire work in you." I have always had a desire to be clean and to do what was necessary to abstain from pornography, but my problem has always been trying to do it myself. All I have control over is my choices right now. That is all I can be worrying about. I don't know if this is what a person is supposed to right in this box, but will is a good thing to have. Will power seems to be running low everywhere we look because we live in a world with endless types of quick fixes. Hits of relief. Mine just happens to get burned into my brain and body like a forest fire that keeps raging out of control. I swear every time I have abstained, it may last 1,2 maybe 6 months and then it comes back more powerful than before. Well like I said today is the new day to become willing again to abstain from it. I never realized how deep addiction is, and what it really stems from. It is a psychological drug and produces physical, mental, and emotional release. Where can I find its equal and reprogram my mind to understand it. I need a sponsor, a friend, a mentor who will understand me. Talking to my wife is difficult because she is so innocent and good that she doesn't understand the difficulty of stopping. I do love her even though this has definitely jeopardized everything.


ichoose be careful    
"Be careful and do not personally email someone on this site. I would beware of anyone who declares full recovery. He is going to tell you you have an evil spirit. That's his one stop solution for everyone.

If you want to contact him, first read his posts, and then decide if he is the person who can help you. Just saying."
posted at 18:19:45 on August 21, 2013 by Anonymous
12 step meetings    
"Have you attended? It is essential. Go to SA or Ldsar meetings. There you will find someone with long term sobriety who will be your sponsor."
posted at 18:26:06 on August 21, 2013 by Anonymous
Ha! I agree with anonymous--don't email    
"But anonymous was not me. Never is.

Kick It has a lot to offer, and you can read about it on this site. Check out his posts. Read other posts on this site that interest you, too, and you will find lots of helpful tips from lots of other people.

It looks like Kick It has decided to start inviting everyone to come to him personally. That's really weird, but for now I'll reserve judgment and assume he's just trying to help as best he knows how.

Here are some of my tips for you and others in the same situation:
*Be good to yourself. So you are imperfect. We all are.
*Know that God still loves you as you are. He sacrificed his perfect Son for you.
*Your desires do not make you evil or bad, they make you normal, and it's not the end of the world.
*You have some trials and stresses in your life that drive you to seek relief, and you have taught yourself to seek relief in pornography.
*You need to learn new habits.
*God CAN heal you and change you, and he WANTS to. He's waiting for you to really come to Him.
*Coming to God does not mean doing all the right things on the checklist and becoming righteous.
*Your wife may hate it, and she may be hurt. But you need to be honest with your wife; it will be better than the alternative.
*Be honest with your bishop.
*Get to your local addiction recovery meetings, and get your wife some support and help. You both need HELP to get through this; you can't do it alone. You are literally incapable of escaping this alone. I promise.
*Check out and These tools are free. Get a new email address and send it to them, and you'll get access to all kinds of help and videos. There are also other great tools out there."
posted at 20:00:55 on August 21, 2013 by BeClean

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"Are you battling a demon of addiction—tobacco or drugs, or the pernicious contemporary plague of ography? Whatever other steps you may need to take to resolve these concerns, come first to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Trust in heaven’s promises. In that regard Alma's testimony is my testimony: "I do know," he says, "that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions."

— Jeffrey R. Holland

General Conference, April 2006