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so i'm back...and i really need help
By chiswright
8/19/2013 9:42:42 PM
So some of you might remember me from before, when i spoke on this website about a year ago, my most recent blog being a support blog about asking my bishop (dad) for help. well, i did that, achieving my lifelong soberity record of 15 days. since then, ive gotten sort of close once, with a record of ten days. as i see it, ive probably been addicted to this monster of mb (and now, prn, more on that later) for about a year to a year and a half.

So about prn. it is the worst ever, no denying that. Almost a year ago, when i made my last blog, i had little to no problem with porn, commenting that it was "gross and wierd". boy, i never should have let my guard down. this has been terrible...i relapse or slip (also can someone tell me the difference between thesr two?) with prn almost every day, leading to more mb...which stinks...

On a happy note however, i went to AFY this summer. and let me tell you, BEST. WEEK. OF. MY. LIFE. heavenly father blessed me with the best group i could possibly be with, creating a very spirtitual, friendly, and welcoming atmosphere wherever we went, while having fun at the same time (and the girls weren't too bad either ;)) anyway, while i was at this camp, i actually started to notice something. I FELT THE HOLY GHOST. FOR A WEEK STRAIGHT. this had been really the first time in 1 1/2 years that ive felt the warm companionship of the holy ghost. when i came home, i continued to feel this constant companionship. i could tell others around me could feel that i was different in a good way. I thought i was done with my addiction. i started to actively fight it. little did i know, that in doing so, i let my guard down.

The day i relapsed, i felt the prescence of the holy ghost leave me...i no longer felt that warm, calm, peaceful feeling that makes you want to treat everyone with kindness all the time, and be nice to everyone. i was back in the pit of...yes...crap. i started to slip up again, whilst trying to regain thay feeling of the hly ghost that i felt for that whole week. i just got worse and worse, messing up almost every day (it has been 5 weeks), until now.

which is why i came here again. i really need help. you guys. im despirate. i thought i was having problems before, what i had is nothing compared to whats going on now. Ill be 16 in exactly 17 days, and i dont want to move on to th preists quorm like this. everyone, even if youre passing by, please leave a comment. please. everyone helps.

as a solider in moroni's army,
-chis

Comments:

You. Are. Not. Bad.    
"Welcome back! Good to hear from you.

God still hears your prayers. He still loves you.

I'll pray for you. Please click around this site and look for ideas that could help you."
posted at 22:57:34 on August 19, 2013 by beclean
Difference between relapse and slip    
"I once had a friend whose husband struggles with P/M, and she said a lapse is that momentary slip, a single isolated incident, where a relapse is a re-entering of that world for days, weeks or months on end.

I think the distinction CAN be useful, but it's dangerous if it becomes a justification tool.

Talk to your bishop. If I were 15 or 16 again -- so young and relatively free from all that when compared to my now 15 year history with P/M -- I would go to my bishop and ask for help. I'd also speak to my parents. It will be awkward and embarrassing, but it will be short-term and allow you to beat this before it gets bigger and more out of control. You've only got 2 years until a mission. Start preparing now!"
posted at 11:09:38 on August 20, 2013 by Anonymous


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"I need not define your specific problem to help you overcome it. It doesn’t matter what it is. If it violates the commandments of the Lord, it comes from Satan, and the Lord can overcome all of Satan’s influence through your application of righteous principles. Please understand that the way back is not as hard as it seems to you now. Satan wants you to think that it is impossible. That is not true. The Savior gave His life so that you can completely overcome the challenges you face. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990