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From Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
By hopeful1
8/8/2013 5:02:32 PM
In the book Daring Greatly, Brene Brown teaches that men feel vulnerable about sex. Their self-worth is on the line. From the time boys are eight to ten years old, they learn that initiating sex is their responsibility and that sexual rejection soon becomes the hallmark of masculine shame. Men involved in pornography don't have to risk rejection. Pornography never says no. It requires no work. It's always ready. It always says yes. You don't have to be patient or compassionate or listen. Women, however, see the issue of men and pornography as having to do with their own inadequate appearance and/or their lack of sexual expertise. It's a kill shot to their self esteem. What women may not understand is that sex is terrifying for most men. Porn is a desperate attempt to exercise power and control. Rejection is deeply painful.

"Cultivating intimacy - physical or emotional - is almost impossible when our shame triggers meet head-on and create the perfect storm. Sometimes these shame storms are directly about sex and intimacy, but often are outlying gremlins wreaking havoc in our relationships. Common issues include body image, aging, appearance, money, parenting, motherhood, exhaustion, resentment, and fear."

The answer of practicing "wholeheartedness" around these issues is "honest, loving conversations that require major vulnerability. We have to be able to all about how we feel, what we need and desire, and we have to be able to listen with an open heart and an open mind. There is no intimacy without vulnerability. Yet another example of vulnerability as courage."

Comments:

good comment    
"this is really true, and every man who is seeking recovery will have to experience these emotions, and learn healthy ways to deal with rejection, aging, image, appearance, weakness, stress and other things. as i've been working towards recovery i've hit some major road blocks as I've tried to deal with each of these in the right ways, and also have discovered how distorted my views have become. it's a hard road back but worth it. it's taken me a lot of patience and i've got a ways to go. thanks for the good reminder"
posted at 20:59:32 on August 8, 2013 by recovery.gdo


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"In a decaying environment, the mind is the last redoubt of righteousness, and it must be preserved even amid bombardment by evil stimuli. Christ is competent to see us through, “for in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted” As promised, He will make either “a way to escape” or a way “to bear it”."

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987