90 Day Challenge: Day 1
By johnroberts
8/2/2013 1:11:06 PM
I'm writing a 90 day challenge simply because that seemed to give me enough direction before to abstain. I made it over 100 days -- somewhere around 110, actually -- before lapsing again.

It's been less than two weeks since my most recent lapse, but since I didn't keep track of what day that was, I'll just start today.

I think the most frustrating thing about this whole p/m problem I have is that I don't feel worthy of being happy until I've had at least a month of sobriety. Of course, that leads to depression and self-esteem issues, making it easier to give into another lapse.

Last night, I was on the phone with a friend who recently returned from a mission. "What was one of the most important things you learned?" I asked.

"I learned that Heavenly Father wants us to be happy, and he's sad when we're sad," my friend replied.

That struck me. I suppose my natural worldview is that life is suffering punctuated by short periods of happiness or pleasure. The suffering brings us growth and progression, the ultimate point of this life. I see happiness or even basic enjoyment of life as something reserved for long in my future, well past my death.

Anyway, I've been doing some research today. I'm still not fully convinced life is supposed to be "happy" as most people define it, but I think of the brethren, and they seem to preach a gospel of happiness.


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"I need not define your specific problem to help you overcome it. It doesn’t matter what it is. If it violates the commandments of the Lord, it comes from Satan, and the Lord can overcome all of Satan’s influence through your application of righteous principles. Please understand that the way back is not as hard as it seems to you now. Satan wants you to think that it is impossible. That is not true. The Savior gave His life so that you can completely overcome the challenges you face. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990