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Lost and No hope
By Trying
7/29/2013 8:45:02 PM
Hi! I am new to this site. I am struggling with porn. I am trying to stop. It is so hard. I feel like there is not much hope for me. I won't give up, but I am struggling immensely. I need a friend to talk to, who will be there for me on this site.
I want to serve a mission, but of course, I am not worthy. I am starting step 1 today. Wish me luck. I want to get out of this ditch, but I fear I may be lost. Please help!!!!

Comments:

We are all here.    
"I don't have the same issues but I am struggling as well. It is a constant struggle I think and the most important thing to realize is that you CAN NOT make it through any of this without YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER! You will not succeed in this war without Him and without HIS SON through whom we are forgiven over and over and over again. This is a war, you may lose a couple of battles, its okay. We aren't perfect and we have our own battles to fight... sometimes we are even fighting more than one war. But something that has been said to me is that we ALWAYS have a way out. ALWAYS. Christ is the only man to walk this Earth who didn't have a way out. He didn't have an escape, but we all do BECAUSE Christ suffered for all of us so that we would have an escape. We will always have an escape. Keep going. Work hard. Realize that Christ would have atoned for your sins even if you were the only one. YOU ARE LOVED. You have God on your side and you can make the choice to get through this. It's hard. I'm at the beginning of the war right here with you, but I've learned so much just by realizing that I can not get through this without My Savior and My God. You can make it through this. Give it all over to Him and you will make it through this. You will have a few battle wounds but you can do this. You can come out victorious through Christ. You can get through this!

Daisy"
posted at 02:14:47 on July 30, 2013 by Daisy
P.S.    
"You are never lost. Heavenly Father is always aware of you and your struggles. You will always have Him. I know how hard it is to be unworthy of things like serving a mission and going through the temple doors. We all do, and it hurts to know that. But just remember you can get back. You can go on a mission and serve the Lord and bring people to Christ. Something I tell myself is that by obey God's commandments and following His standard I have more cans in my life than cants. For me that is liberating. When I say, i CAN make it through today withoutbslipping and i CAN one day walk through those temple doors again I feel a lot better about my struggle than I do when I say to myself I am not worthy so I CANT go into the temple. Its doesnt change my situation but it hchanges my perspective. If i focuse on the cants than i am more likely to slip. Whereas theres strength in saying you CAN do something. I hope that helps!"
posted at 02:51:31 on July 30, 2013 by daisy
P.S.    
"You are never lost. Heavenly Father is always aware of you and your struggles. You will always have Him. I know how hard it is to be unworthy of things like serving a mission and going through the temple doors. We all do, and it hurts to know that. But just remember you can get back. You can go on a mission and serve the Lord and bring people to Christ. Something I tell myself is that by obey God's commandments and following His standard I have more cans in my life than cants. For me that is liberating. When I say, i CAN make it through today withoutbslipping and i CAN one day walk through those temple doors again I feel a lot better about my struggle than I do when I say to myself I am not worthy so I CANT go into the temple. Its doesnt change my situation but it hchanges my perspective. If i focuse on the cants than i am more likely to slip. Whereas theres strength in saying you CAN do something. I hope that helps!"
posted at 02:53:52 on July 30, 2013 by daisy
A friend    
"Hey buddy,
I'd be happy to be your friend along the journey if you need one. Feel free to email me at recovery.gdodaat@gmail.com. It's a rough road you're on but definitely doable - but you'll need all the support you can get. Talk to your friends - you'll be surprised how much support they'll give you. Your family as well. I've been going to groups and active in recovery for over 3 years now and would be happy to help you in any way I can. Good luck and hope to hear from you soon!"
posted at 00:29:35 on July 31, 2013 by recovery.gdo
No one is ever lost!    
"I used to think I was lost too. Christ is searching for His lost sheep DAILY! He WANTS to find you. All you have to do is stretch forth your hand and take hold of His. If you want to go back and read my blogs, feel free. I've been where you are! The BEST thing for you to do is go to your bishop. I know from experience that is the HARDEST step, but it is the most rewarding and spiritual experience you will have. And trust me, you will cry. I don't have the time at the moment, but I am going to write another blog here sharing a little more of my story. Look for it and keep going forward! And most of all DON'T LOOK BACK!! Looking back only makes us long for things we are past (And may or may not turn us into a pillar of salt :P)"
posted at 14:13:41 on July 31, 2013 by SeekingHelp
Hang in there!    
"Change is possible. Forget the mission for now. Just get through the day. See your Bishop. Maybe see a therapist. Look for support."
posted at 19:47:54 on July 31, 2013 by stayingclean
Tony Litster    
"Look up prn addiction videos by Tony Litster on YouTube. They really helped me put it in perspective."
posted at 10:45:17 on August 1, 2013 by stayingclean
Thank You Friends!    
"Daisy.... Thank you! What you said really helped! Sometimes I feel (because i am a member of the Church and i know better) so guilty and down, that its like God's love doesn't apply to me. So thank you for reminding me that He is mindful of me too!!!

Thanks Everyone!!! Just saying stuff like this helps me a TON!!! I have seen my Bishop in the past. He knows what I am going through, but he did not know of my recent hit-bottom. He is so busy and I feel he doesn't have the time every week to talk with me. That's all I want, someone who I can talk to often and just check in and stuff. We have pornagraphy addiction recovery groups in my town, but they are specifically for men. Yes, I am a woman. So I don't feel like those groups are the thing for me.
I can't tell my friends and family. They would never believe me, plus I couldn't live with them being dissappointed in me. Especially my parents.... I just can't.
I am a strong member of the church. I have never been inactive, but I somehow got caught up in porn. This sight has helped me a lot already. I started reading my scriptures again, knowing that I can find strength in them. I learned that we have to act before we can receive strength. We can't ask Heavenly Father to strengthen us and then do nothing. We have to first work and study, then ask for strength. It is so hard, but I am trying. Keep talking to me. I need you guys!!"
posted at 12:58:58 on August 2, 2013 by Trying
Been there...    
"I've been where you are and I've felt how you've felt. Up until about a month or so ago I was putting off talking to my bishop. I kept telling myself "He's too busy, my problem isn't important enough to bother him" or " I've talked to a bishop before, this one is just going to tell me the same things" I tried doing it on my own, reading my scriptures more, praying more. But I fell to temptation. That's when the Lord threw a big bag of brick at my face with the words SEE YOUR BISHOP! written on them (not literally, but you get the point.) I went to see him, even voiced the fact that i didn't think my problem was big enough to bother him with. But I will tell you right now that meeting was the BEST thing I have EVER done!

I too am a woman struggling to fight this temptation. See your bishop! It is Satan putting those thoughts in your head, he did it to me too. The bishop WANTS to help you! He DOES have time! Every week, every day, every hour if you need him! He is there to help. I realized later than I should have that going to the bishop is the act that give us the strength you talk about.

Honestly, your story sounds SO much like mine. I've never been inactive and I see myself as a strong member of the church, but I got caught in porn. I understand its hard to see the bishop, it took me months of being on this site and getting the needed strength, but it is something that needs to happen."
posted at 17:54:52 on August 2, 2013 by SeekingHelp
Trying    
"If you want I can give you an email so you can talk to me. I am struggling with my own demons and i understand what you are going through. Let me know and we can help eachother. Id love to have someone to talk to as well. Let me know if you are comfortable with that!"
posted at 02:00:27 on August 3, 2013 by daisy
Be careful...    
"I hope you sisters can reach out and help each other. Is there a way to get email to each other without posting it on this site? That would be best, I would think. You never know who's crawling this site looking for a young person with difficult to control sexual urges. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I just wanna keep everyone safe."
posted at 12:15:44 on August 3, 2013 by beclean
You can attend a General Addiction meeting    
"They are for both genders. You don't even have to say the nature of your addiction, even if you decide to share. I almost never say what my addiction is (mine is MB). But you can if you want to. Or, you can just pass if you want to. You don't have to say anything. In fact, at every meeting, they admonish us not to share any graphic details about our addiction. These meetings are really small testimony meetings.

At a General Addiction meeting I attended two weeks ago, a girl shared her struggle with pornography with us. That was her choice, and no one, including us guys, was shocked or dismayed. We just felt compassion for her. Another sister mentioned her struggle with alcohol and drugs. The other sisters shared, but no one has any idea what their addictions are, because they didn't say.

These support groups are great, and they can help you immensely. They are centered on the LDS 12 Step Manual. Each week, they focus on a different step. Step 1 is Honesty, admitting that you of yourself are incapable of overcoming this addiction. The manual is excellent and you can download it by clicking on the link on this site on the left hand side where it says "Recovery Manual." Download it or purchase it at Deseret Book and then read it and start working the steps. You will find that it is inspired, and if you work the steps, you will get tremendous help with your addiction.

Many sisters have overcome pornography addictions and their associated behaviors by working with their bishops (doesn't have to be once a week, can be once or twice a month), going to Support Meetings, working the steps, and sometimes having a sponsor and/or therapist (a Sponsor is someone who has overcome the same problem that you're currently having and whom you can call to report into every day or at times when you're tempted. This should be someone of the same gender).

But your first step is to work with your bishop. It's good to get into a regular program of accountability with him. It could just be a 5 minute visit each week, or every other week, or once a month. And go to General Addiction Support Group meetings at least once a week, more often if you can.

You're going to win this battle and we're going to be your cheering section. I'm so glad the sisters have rallied to your rescue. You might want to check out the Church's website (lds.org) and look over the pornography addiction videos. When they first were posted a little while ago, there were only two videos on there. Both are women. So you're not alone.

God bless you and I'll include you in my prayers for Fast Sunday. And I'll be praying for all of us on this site. Hope all of you will do that, too. Prayers can do a lot of good."
posted at 13:11:54 on August 3, 2013 by dog
beclean    
"I understand the concern. I was think though that if it were an email only created for this site it wouldnt be a personal one that that would be okay. youve mentioned before that concern and i forgot. your concern makes sense. I understand. i dont want to make anyone uncomfortablr. I just thought that that may help"
posted at 16:18:00 on August 3, 2013 by daisy
You can do it    
"Trying,

I returned from my mission almost a year ago. I never thought it was possible as well. I know what it is like to mess up time after time after time. Get with your bishop and get working on some goals. Learn all you can about the power of the Atonement. What helped me most was to know that not only could I be cleansed of sin, but also I could be given power to quit. That power will come when you learn the powerful lessons that will come from your addiction. I am now teaching at the MTC and in Elders Quorum presidency. God has taken me places I never dreamed of. He will help you become what you want to be. Much love, Brady"
posted at 21:54:36 on August 5, 2013 by brady
Thanks!!!    
"You are all soooooo helpful! Thank you!!
Daisy, I would love to talk to you through email! Lets set something up!
Brady, thank you! Your comment gives me so much hope!!
SeekingHelp, I so appreciate all that you have said!!!! Maybe I will talk to my bishop:) it's awesome to know that there is someone that went through just what I am and is getting through it!!"
posted at 20:21:22 on August 20, 2013 by Trying
email    
posted at 01:21:08 on August 21, 2013 by daisy


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"My brethren who are caught in this addiction or troubled by this temptation, there is a way. Don’t accommodate any degree of temptation. Prevent sin and avoid having to deal with its inevitable destruction. So, turn it off! Look away! Avoid it at all costs. Direct your thoughts in wholesome paths. Please heed these warnings. Let us all improve our personal behavior and redouble our efforts to protect our loved ones and our environment from the onslaught of ography that threatens our spirituality, our marriages, and our children. "

— Dallin H. Oaks

General Conference, April 2005