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I've started an online journal at Penzu.com
By dog
7/26/2013 11:53:16 AM
My first entry was June 19, 2013. Here it is, and I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me:

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Musings on Self Worth and Addiction June 19, 2013

My saying of the day: "Sometimes it's hard to let go, even when there's nothing to let go of." I made up this ancient wise saying in reference to [girl's name here].

I have realized that the key to overcoming my addiction and the key to recovery for many others' addictions is developing a sense of self worth. This is the basis of recovery. If you never feel good about yourself no matter how good you are, or if you rely on others for a sense of self worth, then you will never overcome your addictive behaviors or mindset.

I've always let others determine my importance instead of realizing that I am a valued child of God. I've never asserted myself (until just lately) and I've allowed others to run my life. I am tired of this at age 62 and will begin to reverse this trend right now. In fact, I've already started.

I've never realized that I have worth. I've never felt "good enough". Well, I am good enough and others are just going to have to put up with that or go someplace else -- good riddance. My "goodenough" is good enough, and my best is far better than that.

I never want to espouse mediocrity or anything like unto it, I just want to be certain that when I backbreakingly painstakingly do my best, it's for myself and God, and not to please somebody else.

I have allowed myself to be pushed into things, feeling obligated to meet others' needs, etc., yadda, yadda, yadda. I've accepted the criticism -- and praise -- of others, but why should I even care? I shouldn't. Though I'll gladly accept compliments, especially when it makes me money.

OK, well I've turned over a new leaf and I guess I'm dangerous now. Going to take over the world. With love. -- Peace, brothers and sisters.
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Yeah, I've got a long way to go, but 'the journey of 1,000 miles begins with the first step', and that's where I am, beginning the journey of 1,000 miles with a single step. But it's wonderful to know that I'm finally headed in the right direction.

Will you join me on my journey, that is, will you begin your own journeys of 1, 10, 100, or 1,000 miles? It starts with you realizing that you're all wonderful people, children of God, and no one has the right to make you feel any less than that. If you don't already feel it, start to feel some sense of self worth. Pray for it. And stop berating yourselves for slips, relapses, hiccups, or shortcomings.

On my own road less traveled, I have miles to go before I sleep : )

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"If, through our unrighteous choices, we have lost our footing on that path, we must remember the agency we were given, agency we may choose to exercise again. I speak especially to those overcome by the thick darkness of addiction. If you have fallen into destructive, addictive behaviors, you may feel that you are spiritually in a black hole. As with the real black holes in space, it may seem all but impossible for light to penetrate to where you are. How do you escape? I testify the only way is through the very agency you exercised so valiantly in your premortal life, the agency that the adversary cannot take away without your yielding it to him. "

— Robert D. Hales

General Conference, April 2006