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Thanks for the courage
By rmww
7/20/2013 5:22:37 PM
I've been lurking here for a few months, although this is my first post. I feel truly blessed to have found this site, and several of you have helped me in ways you'll probably never know.

I've been struggling with a prn addiction off-and-on for a lot of years. Quite often I've managed to stay sober for a few months at a time, but then just when I think things are going great again, the temptation (compulsion) appears out of nowhere and smacks me hard. Even though I know I'm going to spiritually puke my guts out for the next couple of months, I end up giving in. Then the guilt hits, and it's almost unbearable.

I worked really hard to keep my problem a secret for a lot of years. I rationalized that after 3 or 4 months of sobriety, that maybe my problem was finally under control, and that it was probably best to just put this whole thing behind me and never have to tell anyone. I really didn't want to break my (wonderful!) wife's heart, so I convinced myself that this was simply a problem I could keep between Heavenly Father and myself.

A few comments on this site recently have really helped me to see the error of my ways. One is the basic idea that addictions thrive in secrecy. Looking back, I can totally see that now. The other comment is that keeping an addiction secret is like having your own personal Secret Combination with Satan. Ouch. That hit home with me.

I finally got the courage to tell my wife about my addiction almost 2 weeks ago, and to go in and talk to the bishop the next night. I was 100% honest, and didn't hold anything back. What a tremendous burden has been lifted! My wife was heartbroken (as expected), but I'm glad I finally got the courage to be honest about this. I know I have a lot of work ahead of me, but it feels good to have finally enlisted the help of a wonderful wife and a loving bishop.

Thank you ALL for your comments! You've blessed my life in ways you'll probably never know. I truly appreciate you.

Comments:

Keep going!    
"I'm so excited you took the right step. The road is hard and long but so worth it. Stay completely honest. Encourage your wife to get counseling and help. Learn new habits when life gets tough, tried, or boring. There are better ways to cope with life.

You are a good man to be working on this. It won't go away overnight, but the Lord will fight your battles for you as you do his work."
posted at 12:40:49 on July 21, 2013 by beclean


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"Now, my brothers and sisters, let not Jesus’ redemption for us stop at the immortalizing dimension of the Atonement, “the loosing of the bands of death”. Let us grasp the proffered gift of eternal life! We will end up either choosing Christ’s manner of living or His manner of suffering! It is either “suffer even as I”, or overcome “even as [He] … overcame”. His beckoning command is to become “even as I am”. The spiritually settled accept that invitation, and “through the atonement of Christ,” they become and overcome! "

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987