Print
what Fight Club has done for me
By harveyf
7/11/2013 7:20:38 PM
This is a nickname for our pasg group. One of our members was asked where he was going that evening and he was not wanting to divulge that he was heading for group. We thought fight club was so appropriate for what we are doing every week when we meet together.

When I was first introduced to the 12 step meeting, I was lost, self loathing and without hope of any kind. I was caught, again, and forced into the light ,from my darkness of addiction to pornography. I was forced to either fix this or lose my family. My first thought of going to meetings with a group of other low life scumbags like me could not possibly be of any benefit. With a lifetime of failure, I had all but given up at recovery , at least in this life. I lived my double life and in denial (don’t Even Notice I Am Lying). Especially to myself.
First of all I found out that I was not alone in my addiction. A fully active Latter Day Saint who loves the gospel and was powerless to live those ideals, I found out that I was not uniquely broken, many others have fallen into the same pit as me.
I came to realize that the quality of people that came to these meetings were of the highest quality of people I have ever been around. These are brothers that could be sitting next to me in church and in the temple (over time I realized that many were). I found out that I was not the scum bag I thought I was. I found the spirit of the Lord at these meetings. I love the safety of being able to share anything without judgment and without being shamed. This was the first time in my life that I was able to really talk about this stinking addiction. Like a fungus that grows in the darkness, it seems to wither and begin to die in the light of day. I found out that Satan uses the same lies on others that he used on me. It is not from the brethren in Salt Lake that I learn how to recover, it is from my brothers in the room that is going or has gone through the same trials that I am. I am so grateful to the church for this program. It has lots of flaws and lacks consistency between different groups; I can only influence the group I am in. I use my group as an accountability partner as well. I never miss a week if I can help it. I have found hope, healing, forgiveness from my wife and self hatred that is fading as time goes on. I owe my soul to this program, my marriage and knowing how much my wife hated me, probably my very life. I have found my Savior here, funny I was unable to read, pray , and attend church, my way back, it took this program to put me on the path. No I am not putting my trust in a program even through it is the church’s only approved program that they have put their seal of approval on. IT is the atonement that saves me. The program taught me how to utilize it, and undo all the lies I had believed about HIS grace and mercy. I am so grateful that there is help out there. I am also grateful for this website. It is the only place on the planet that the family support manual can still be found. Who knows how long it will take for the church to have its own. I am grateful for the love and support that can be found on this site. I do not write very much on here, I rather read what others have to say. I am hoping my brothers who are in my group will come here for support and getting their questions answered, between our meetings. We seem to run out of time every week, to be able to ask questions. Here support and answers are here 24/7
Thanks everyone for making this site great
Your brother harvey

Comments:

Thank you Harvey    
"What I've been saying for a long time is that addicts (drug, sex, alcohol, whatever) whom I have known have been some of the finest, most gifted people I've ever known. Not every one, certainly, but many. And toxic shame never achieved any good thing.

You seem to be on the road to recovery, and central to that was your realizing that you're not a "scumbag", but a valued child of a very loving God who is involved in the details of your life.

God bless you and thank you for sharing."
posted at 10:29:30 on July 15, 2013 by dog
Thank you Harvey    
"What I've been saying for a long time is that addicts (drug, sex, alcohol, whatever) whom I have known have been some of the finest, most gifted people I've ever known. Not every one, certainly, but many. And toxic shame never achieved any good thing.

You seem to be on the road to recovery, and central to that was your realizing that you're not a "scumbag", but a valued child of a very loving God who is involved in the details of your life.

God bless you and thank you for sharing."
posted at 10:29:48 on July 15, 2013 by dog
Thanks    
"It was really inspiring to read your posts Harvey. Today is Day 1 for me and I have been having temptation since I woke up. Reading this post has helped me refocus on what I really want. Just wanted to say thank you."
posted at 12:14:23 on July 15, 2013 by wantfreedom
this is what it's about    
"there is power in the program, there is power in each of us, and there is ultimate power in Jesus!"
posted at 16:52:25 on July 19, 2013 by Anonymous


Add a Comment:


***Anonymous User***     (login above to post UN-anonymously)








help
join
"My brethren who are caught in this addiction or troubled by this temptation, there is a way. Don’t accommodate any degree of temptation. Prevent sin and avoid having to deal with its inevitable destruction. So, turn it off! Look away! Avoid it at all costs. Direct your thoughts in wholesome paths. Please heed these warnings. Let us all improve our personal behavior and redouble our efforts to protect our loved ones and our environment from the onslaught of ography that threatens our spirituality, our marriages, and our children. "

— Dallin H. Oaks

General Conference, April 2005