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Stuck in the middle
By wantfreedom
7/10/2013 9:07:20 AM
Hello everyone. I am an addict who has the desire to be clean. I just can never say no to temptation. I have had periods of recovery but none recently and today I feel hopeless. I busy myself with two jobs, summer school, hobbies, trying to be a good husband(yes, my wife knows of my addiction and its severity and she is VERY supportive of my recovery) all to keep me clean but even on days I am busy I mess up sooner or later. I really need some help and advice. I want these addictions gone. I want peace in my life. I want to feel worthy of not only the Savior's love but also the love of my wife. I feel like I filled her up with false promises and tricked her into marrying me. Like I said I feel hopeless and tired. I need to know there is hope that others have been freed from these chains I feel imprisoned in.

Comments:

Update    
"I know no one is online right now but I decided to look through past blogs for advice. As I have read I have tried to clear my mind as much as possible. So I wanted to change my question that I posed at the end of the above blog post. Surrendering myself to God seemed like a reoccurring theme(at least on the threads I was reading). I think that goes with steps 1-3 but here is my question. Last time I tried this website(under a different username) and attended meetings I felt like I couldnt move past step one until I was sober for a week. That I was stuck in that step. So how exactly do I use the steps? When I went to LDSARP meetings it seemed like half the people understood how to use the manual and the other half were just stuck doing circles like me. Is there something I am missing? I am excited to be back to feeling that I am ready once again to start the steps and be clean."
posted at 11:15:01 on July 10, 2013 by wantfreedom
Skip LDSARP meetings and attend a SAA or SA 12 step meeting    
"In my opinion, a person will get better advise that will last longer in one of these programs. In my opinion, LDSARP and PSAG is 12 step lite..too lite. I have never seen anyone with more than a year of sobriety at one of those meetings. It seems like as soon as people get some sobriety, they think they are cured and quit going. I guess if it works for you, wonderful, if you need stronger medicine try out a conventional program

the SA, SAA or SLA programs are more hardcore and is more of a longterm lifestyle. Of course there can be some cursing and less savory characters there but I have been very happy in those program and have found a measure of relief and over a year of sobriety. I still have a lot to work on but Im focusing on progress not perfection.

"
posted at 14:26:48 on July 10, 2013 by hurtallover
Thank you    
"@hurtallover
Thanks for the info and advice. besides skipping LDsARP meetings and go to SAA is there any other advice people have on overcoming this?"
posted at 11:04:22 on July 11, 2013 by wantfreedom


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"I will speak briefly of the principle of repentance. How grateful I am for the understanding we have of this great principle. It is not a harsh principle, as I thought when I was a boy. It is kind and merciful. The Hebrew root of the word means, simply, "to turn," or to return, to God. Jehovah pled with the children of Israel: "Return . . . and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful . . . and I will not keep anger for ever. Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the Lord thy God." When we acknowledge our sins, confess them and forsake them, and turn to God, He will forgive us."

— Richard G. Hinckley

General Conference April 2006