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Progression
By hopeful1
7/6/2013 9:57:04 PM
Hi people
I've had a lot of alone time lately as my wife is out of town. This naturally becomes a time of greater temptations for me. However, I have progressed to a point where I don't act out because I don't like the way I feel when I do, and I don't like the way it hurts my loved ones. I've had some very painful experiences related to this addiction and I won't go back there. I truly like the peaceful feelings and the presence of the Spirit in my life much better, so I choose that. There were times when I was faced with strong temptations and found myself wanting to look at stimulating images - not pornography per se - but stimulating - and that's where I'm a little bothered with myself. Prayer definitely helps - in those moments where I pray to God and say I can't do this - I don't have the power to do this - I need your help - I need your grace - and help me fall asleep (because I often have insomnia). It helps. I continue to battle lustful thoughts - meaning my eyes can find an attractive woman in a crowd like a heat seeking missile - and the gym is full of attractiveness - and I have to continually work so I don't look too long or do any rubber-necking, etc. I don't necessarily have any impure thoughts but it's more like coveting - wanting to possess - or I have thoughts of how life is so unfair and poor me, etc. Stupid! Satan has found a way to throw in stimulating images into apps like Instagram, Pinterest, and Vine - and some of which have pornography. Stupid Satan has to ruin a good thing. Anyway, I'm happy overall and see myself progressing step by step. Things are getting better with all my relationships. I still struggle with my many character flaws - or what I would consider flaws. I tend to think negatively of myself - like today I was feeling like a very uninteresting person - kind of boring and sometimes lazy - feeling unproductive. I used to really struggle with loneliness but strangely that's not such a problem for me lately. Recently I have been struggling with boredom and trying to find healthy ways to cope - so today while feeling very unmotivated I prayed and felt impressed to get on here and write. I hope someday the Lord will bless me with more opportunities to contribute and to be an instrument in His hands. I tend to think He is preparing me for that. I'm looking forward to teaching a Sunday School lesson tomorrow. I love reading and studying and teaching and bearing testimony. I'm so grateful for the privileges I had lately to use the priesthood performing blessings, passing the sacrament, temple baptisms, another baptism and confirmation. That feels so good.

Comments:

Temptation: Do I flee or linger?    
"Sure Satan uses every tool at his disposal to tempt us, but 99% is how you prepare to respond to that onslaught. Do you have a knee-jerk reaction to temptation like Joseph of Egypt who fled at the very sight of evil? Or do you linger thinking that you can just "partake just a little"? See, its between fleeing and lingering is where you are having the problem."
posted at 10:22:12 on July 8, 2013 by stayingclean


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"[The Savior] is saying to us, "Trust me, learn of me, do what I do. Then, when you walk where I am going," He says, "we can talk about where you are going, and the problems you face and the troubles you have. If you will follow me, I will lead you out of darkness," He promises. "I will give you answers to your prayers. I will give you rest to your souls.""

— Jeffrey R. Holland

General Conference, April 2006