More attracted to others
By stevejames
6/9/2013 5:49:36 PM
Ok - so I understand that it is a completely normal thing for a me to be attracted to the pretty women around me. I'll preface with that. I know that's normal. It's how we're wired. My responsibility is to make good decisions despite that - to not let thoughts progress or linger, to not say or do anything inappropriate, etc. I've been clean for over a year now, and I am still trying to recover from the harmful effects that porn and mb have cause on my mind and our marriage.

The thing that is bringing me lots of stress right now is that I frequently see women that I am more attracted to than my wife, and it has come up during one of our more difficult conversations. Now she frequently feels sad because of it, doesn't feel attractive to me at all (even though I am very attracted to her), and wishes I had married someone I was more attracted to.

So now I go around feeling bad and dreading every time I see anyone that I feel is more physically attractive than my wife, and it fills me with a lot of anxiety pretty much daily. And I'm not sure what to do. I often tell my wife she looks great. I tell her I miss her when she's away. I do cute little things around the house and put little surprises around to let her know I care.

Apparently the addiction to lust is still raging inside of me - I feel like it is getting weaker but it is still so strong.

This is so much less severe than anything we've dealt with in the sexual addiction realm, but it is causing our marriage a lot of stress and I figure people might have experience with this and could offer some guidance. Thanks for your advice.


Learn to show passion    
"Google things like 100 ways to show your wife/spouse you love her. Find something to do EVERY DAY. Sacrifice for her. Make her the center of your life, aside from God. Do at least half of the chores, and when you come home at night, sweep her into your arms for a long, passionate kiss, even if you're not feeling it— you soon will.

You gotta force yourself to show passion before you feel it.

Always talk up your wife to others. Make a list of her good qualities and mention them to others in her presence.

And watch Johnny Lingo again."
posted at 19:46:35 on June 11, 2013 by beclean

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"I have come to know that thoughts, like water, will stay on course if we make a place for them to go. Otherwise, our thoughts follow the course of least resistance, always seeking the lower levels. Probably the greatest challenge and the most difficult thing you will face in mortal life is to learn to control your thoughts. In the Bible it says, as a man ‘thinketh in his heart, so is he’ (Prov. 23:7). One who can control his thoughts has conquered himself. As you learn to control your thoughts, you can overcome habits, even degrading personal habits. You can gain courage, conquer fear, and have a happy life. "

— Boyd K. Packer

BYU, Speeches of the Year, 26 Sept. 1967