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Im completely powerless to overcome this problem and I cannot manage this anymore
By homeward
4/29/2013 10:40:50 PM
Step 1 - Key Principle — Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable.
Well its been about 5yrs, starting with lingerie pictures moving into softcore porn and finally into hardcore porn, the last 3 yrs has been spent telling myself on a number of occasions that I am going to start "Today" and stop, only to go 2 weeks or a month and start over again. Which gets pretty discouraging. The weird thing about this is Im not an avid guy that looks at pornographic material, maybe once a week, once every two weeks. But it just enough of a "Flaxen Cord" to keep me from crawling out of the pit I've so craftily dug myself into. This is the first time i've put it in writing and joined a group though. Any and all support is much appreciated.

Comments:

Good start    
"Homeward,
This is a great start! You started off just like me - not sure how old you are but I started on softer stuff before my mission, was clean through my mission then got into the more severe stuff a few months after I got home. It was once every 3 months, then once every month, then once every couple weeks for a while until I finally spiralled out of control. I think I spiralled because I kept telling myself 'last time was the last time' and that 'this time' I would change it, etc. The fact is, we can't change it - we are powerless over it.

Good on you for starting off with step one - the flaxen cord will continue to get stronger each time it is wrapped around, and you know you must reach out now for help. My advice to you is this: tap into every resource you can possibly tap into to stop the cycle, even if it is once every few weeks. Attend a support group, meet weekly with a bishop, get help from friends and family, get a counselor if needed, etc. Don't do the bear minimum that you think will merit recovery - go all out and get stuff done!

I did the bare minimum for years after my mission and just got worse and worse until I was finally willing to swallow my pride and do what was required. Congrats on making this step and good luck moving forward!

Feel free to shoot me an email to ask more questions or talk more. Good luck!
recovery.dgodaat@gmail.com"
posted at 09:54:21 on April 30, 2013 by recovery.gdo
We are all in the same boat    
"I, like RECOVERY.GDO, have been dealing with the same sort of things. Had problems pre-mission and I've been about 3-6 months between slip-ups post mission. I was totally free throughout my time during my mission which I count as a huge blessing in and of itself and because it is a reminder that it is manageable. Checking in here and groups like these has been a big help with remembering why I want to stop, especially when start to forget how important it is to me. It gives me perspective. Good work so far."
posted at 23:36:54 on April 30, 2013 by calgarysouth
Thanks everyone    
"Thanks for the insight and background, O what I would have given not to have seen this stuff in high school. I was almost the exact same, I saw quite a bit before my mission, was clean during in fact never even thought once about it, then about a year after I got back started back with some softcore, then repented, then went another few years clean then started back again. Thanks again for your support"
posted at 09:37:28 on May 1, 2013 by Homeward
Healing the deeper wounds    
"Homeward,
Hope things have gone well. It seems like you, like the rest of us, probably have some deeper wounds that need to be addressed or else this problem will keep rearing its ugly head every so often. Oft times we just like to put a band aid over our wounds, but if they are infected (and this one is), band aids are just a temporary fix. I would suggest going through the 12-steps to find your character weaknesses and tendencies toward them to prevent future relapses - or perhaps a counselor could help you sort through them. Either way, try to dig deep and find out the real reason you continue to keep turning back to acting out sexually over the years. Good luck and keep up the good work."
posted at 15:26:17 on May 1, 2013 by recovery.gdo


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"I have come to know that thoughts, like water, will stay on course if we make a place for them to go. Otherwise, our thoughts follow the course of least resistance, always seeking the lower levels. Probably the greatest challenge and the most difficult thing you will face in mortal life is to learn to control your thoughts. In the Bible it says, as a man ‘thinketh in his heart, so is he’ (Prov. 23:7). One who can control his thoughts has conquered himself. As you learn to control your thoughts, you can overcome habits, even degrading personal habits. You can gain courage, conquer fear, and have a happy life. "

— Boyd K. Packer

BYU, Speeches of the Year, 26 Sept. 1967