Breaking Point
By Draffon
4/17/2013 2:30:09 PM
So I think I have reached my breaking point. I'm sick of fear. Fear of staying an addict, fear of failing relationships, sick of the life I have. That being said, as painful as this is for me, I do not want my relationship with an amazing woman to be a priority. This is so hard.

My thought process now is I cannot be good for her or myself or have hope of eternity in my current state. I have survived a war, seven years of military service, a failed marriage, and being abandoned by someone who should have been my mother. None of those or a combination of them all compare to this addiction.

My parents have shared their thoughts in all of this and I will admit it hurts and puts doubt in my mind. I need to get closer to Heavenly Father and the truth hurts at times. Well, now to figure out how to get closer. I swear my parents are going to put me in an early grave heh. But they do it out of love I am realizing.

God, help me beat this addiction and strengthen myself.


"Yes I am afraid of losing the woman I love. I am very afraid of this because she is truly amazing. I suppose I should be used to losing things at this point. However, that is starting to not become important and it scares me. Although the idea of losing eternity is more prevelant.

I have read some of your blogs concerning unclean spirits and being a Psychology student this intrigues me on an addiction and recovery stand point. In many ways this idea makes sense. The idea of something unclean influencing and poking your weaknesses and fears isn't out there crazy. I suspect that if these spirits are within me they are playing on my fears of losing her and losing eternity, the latter being more important at this point."
posted at 16:59:32 on April 17, 2013 by Draffon
I see a light    
"I see something in you Draffon, I see the light of Christ breaking through. You are different. You have not taken offence.

Some people take the truth to be so hard that they take offence when no offence was intended. If you really ponder on the scriptures and the quotes from the church leaders they speak the truth very plain and sometimes very harsh. This is done out of love and concern!

True happiness can only be achieved with a sincere humble heart and that is what I see in you. Your spirit is already starting to fight Satan and his filthy forces. The fact that you are open minded about the subject of evil spirits helps me to understand that you are very intelligent and spiritual young man. You know this is just one area of the problem, but it is a very important one that most people do not want to know about.

I will tell you what these unclean / evil spirits do. They cause and contribute to our own weaknesses like increasing: temptations, compulsions, denial, panic, fear, guilt, frustration, anxiety, depression, cognitive fog and anger.

After a porn addict has started to feel bad for a while, they get tempted all over again. The human instinct is to go back to the drug that gives the ( illusion of) relief / happiness and the cycle starts all over again.

When an unclean spirit is cast out of you a lot of those uncontrollable compulsions go with it. When you have an unclean spirit in you, your not only experiencing your own weaknesses and bad habits but the compulsions and filth of the unclean spirits as well.

I know as you continue to put Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ first in your life and start the true recovery process, those blessing that have been kept in reserve for you and your future family, will be opened unto you, that you will not have room enough to receive them.

God Bless you Beloved Son!"
posted at 20:11:19 on April 17, 2013 by Anonymous

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"Lucifer will do all in his power to keep you captive. You are familiar with his strategy. He whispers: “No one will ever know.” “Just one more time.” “You can’t change; you have tried before and failed.” “It’s too late; you’ve gone too far.” Don’t let him discourage you. When you take the path that climbs, that harder path of the Savior, there are rewards along the way. When you do something right, when you resist temptation, when you meet a goal, you will feel very good about it. It is a very different kind of feeling than you have when you violate commandments—an altogether different feeling. It brings a measure of peace and comfort and provides encouragement to press on. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990