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Is one 'better' than the other?
By andrewb
4/9/2013 3:49:33 PM
I have found that whenever I am tempted to masturbate or look at pornography, the porn comes temptation comes first. However, if I masturbate, all those feelings go away super fast. if I don't masturbate, the porn feelings do not go away then I end up complying with them both. Should I try to completely rid myself of porn first but still masturbate then eventually get rid of both?

Comments:

Better than the other?    
"Does either one make you feel good afterwards? If not, does it really matter which one "better"?"
posted at 16:20:15 on April 9, 2013 by Anonymous
Response    
"Anonymous- have you ever been put through something like this? I hardly believe you have by just reading your comment"
posted at 18:20:46 on April 9, 2013 by andrewb
ANDREWB    
"I think that you should give one up if you can. One is much better than having two.

But try not to think about porn if you choose to do the other one. I think that both are wrong but porn can lead you deeper and deeper into darker thoughts.

The Masturbation may have more to do with anger or frustration that you might be able to learn to substitute for some other healthy activity and of course 12 steps, prayer, scripture and service.

Always remember to rebuke any unclean sprits away everyday as well, especially when feeling tempted. They are always around us trying to tempt us to sin.

Good Luck and God Bless!"
posted at 18:48:43 on April 9, 2013 by Anonymous
ANDREWB    
"I think that you should give one up if you can. One is much better than having two.

But try not to think about porn if you choose to do the other one. I think that both are wrong but porn can lead you deeper and deeper into darker thoughts.

The Masturbation may have more to do with anger or frustration that you might be able to learn to substitute for some other healthy activity and of course 12 steps, prayer, scripture and service.

Always remember to rebuke any unclean sprits away everyday as well, especially when feeling tempted. They are always around us trying to tempt us to sin.

Good Luck and God Bless!"
posted at 18:50:36 on April 9, 2013 by Anonymous
Better than the other? II    
"ANDREWB - In answer to your question. Yes, I have. Probably much longer than you have but fortunately I have been able to quit both. If both makes you feel bad afterwards, trying to judge the lesser of two evils won't help you if you are trying to quit. Just my humble two cents."
posted at 20:37:13 on April 9, 2013 by Anonymous
Better than the other? III    
"If you just quit porn and just mb. You are kidding yourself because you have to fantasize to a certain extent to finish the job. So whether you are fantasizing with or without porn it is still strengthening unwanted neuro-pathways in the brain when you are pumping chemicals into the body. But if you think quitting one as a step toward quitting both and you succeed, more power to you."
posted at 20:40:38 on April 9, 2013 by Anonymous
My .02    
"Andrew,

Are you familiar with the 12 Step program? It answers this question very clearly in the steps and there is nothing I could say as well as the manual on the left already says. Please search it and I know it will help.

Over the 15+ years that I have watched my dear husband struggle with this addiction and the many, many, addicts that I have known over the years, this concept has come up quite a few times and I have never seen it work for any of them by trying to quit 'one first, but indulge in the other until your a ready to give that up.' And it is not just for sexual addictions. I have a dear friend from ARP who does this same cycle with smoking, alcohol and drugs. It is perfectly fine to have a targeted weakness that you are working on, but the intention is what really matters. When we intend to indulge in one addiction it is very counter to healing another addition. (The truth is they are all tied together now matter how unrelated they may seem. For example, many addicts find they are addicted to sex and food or spending money. What do those have to do with each other? Nothing on the surface. But as you go down the rabbit hole of the 12 Steps it turns out they are actually virtually the same thing. Strange, but true.)

I don't know how to say this any other way. I've typed and erased this a couple times and so I am just going to say this bluntly and inelegantly: Try asking different questions.

Masturbation and pornography addiction like all other addictions come from pain and pride and a hole deep within our soul. They ARE NOT about sex or sexual desire. Trying to treat them like they are will only mask the real problem and that is what Satan wants. He loves to have us chasing 'solutions' as long as the are the wrong ones. Satan is just as happy with us trying to cure ourselves as he is with us not trying to get better at all. It is only when we turn to Christ for healing that Satan looses his grip on us and that we can be cured. We can't do this on our own. No thoughts, tactics or wisdom of man can fix us.

This isn't about figuring out a way to stop your addiction. The WAY is already been made. Christ is the way. The 12 steps helped me find Him, and submit to him entirely. When we can submit....REALLY submit then addiction in all it's manifestations and all the associated defects of our soul start falling away.

I hope this makes sense. Please, again, please start with the 12 steps. They really do work."
posted at 21:26:56 on April 9, 2013 by maddy
It's difficult    
"This is a hard problem, but You can overcome. Go to meetings. work the steps. get a sponsor. contact others on the program (for some reason, this helps). These things have worked for others. They are working for me, also. Hang in there."
posted at 22:45:08 on April 9, 2013 by Anonymous
False idea of equal    
"I hate this idea that all sins are equal. Especially when it comes to sexual sins; its like do you honestly believe that the porn industry, which many believe is controlled by the devil, is comparable to touching yourself by yourself??????

It amazes me when people really to to suggest that they are equal. Yes they are connected obviously but that doesn't make them equal. Sin hierarchy exists. I understand sin is sin and god can't have any sin before him so even small sins count, but a sin hierarchy still exists!! I dont know why some people love to hate masturbation, but when it comes to adultery and other crazy stuff on here, you guys are like oh ya I hope you get better. I don't get it.

I get flustered on this issue because this affects us teens especially. As much as you adults would like to think we are sex machines and all we think about is sex, we aren't all like that. I can tell you of the 4 years that a masturbated without porn, I only thought about girls 4 times. As a lot of Mormons are, I was oblivious to sex topics and sheltered. I only paid attention to how my body felt and that was enough for me. I didnt have to think about anything to finish the job. That's mostly a porn addict that has to do that because our minds are so numb we have to force ourselves to get there without porn. But that's better than using porn!!

As far as one being better than the other, 1000% masturbation is a better solution than porn, and usually guess what you end up masturbating! So at least take porn out of the equation. This is a technique that will only work for a while, the key is spiritual guidance. You can't do it on your own. You have to start studying the gospel more and if you haven't, confess porn to your bishop and follow his advice.

With the right combination, you could get a good boost to start a good run for recovery. But, honestly only masturbating without the help fo the church and lord, won't work."
posted at 00:46:28 on April 10, 2013 by mint
Mint    
"That's what I thought. I don't want AB or anyone to be addicted to masturbating either but I thought that some people may masturbate and not necessarily think of all perverted things. That is why I said to him that if he feels that he can give one up (the porn) RIGHT NOW to give it up.

It seemed like he was saying that he didn't necessarily need to use porn or thoughts or anything to masturbate. That is why I said to him, that his masturbating may have more to do with a release of some kind due to frustration or anger and that he may be able to substitute it for another healthier activity later.

I know that he needs to go to his bishop and the 12 steps program etc for his addiction to masturbation and deal with that addiction as well. But you are right Mint porn is a very dark and dangerous road and I do believe that there are sexual sins that are much worse than other sexual sins and to be able to nip one in the bud (porn) RIGHT NOW is awesome for AB.

Please try to remember AB when you recognise a trigger that may tempt you to masturbate please cast out the unclean spirits around you and try to say a prayer. I know that Jesus will help you and that he loves you so much."
posted at 17:54:51 on April 10, 2013 by Anonymous


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