By stayingclean
4/5/2013 5:53:01 PM
No, not 50 years old. I'm 50 days sober. I logged in today and there it was like a neon sign with white letters on a dark blue background.

50 days ago today, I binged like crazy. I came to work and spent the better part of the day binging on prn. Funny thing, I did not wake up that day and say, "I think I will look at prn today." No! It happened much more seductively than that. I had an impulse, then a curiosity, then I was clicking around and BAM! I was hooked on it until quitting time.

So what have I learned? I have learned to BE PRESENT when impulses rear their ugly head. Its like an innocent little monster much like a Gremlin. Innocent at first and you feed it (or let it get wet) and BAM! It grows until it swallows you whole and you can't think straight. Now I say to myself, "Don't do it! Don't do it! Feeding those impulses just make them even more hungry and you are going to feel bad afterwards."

So far so good...


"Doing awesome. You ar kicking some serious tail. :)"
posted at 18:30:53 on April 5, 2013 by Anonymous
"me too.... awesome. Everyday is a Miracle. You have a sponsor? I do-and it really really helps. I love what you said feeding the impulses makes me more hungry. That for sure. I am never satisfied"
posted at 20:45:17 on April 5, 2013 by marie sober

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"By emulating the Master, who endured temptations but “gave no heed unto them,” we, too, can live in a world filled with temptations “such as [are] common to man”. Of course Jesus noticed the tremendous temptations that came to him, but He did not process and reprocess them. Instead, He rejected them promptly. If we entertain temptations, soon they begin entertaining us! Turning these unwanted lodgers away at the doorstep of the mind is one way of giving “no heed.” Besides, these would-be lodgers are actually barbarians who, if admitted, can be evicted only with great trauma."

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987