By stayingclean
4/5/2013 5:53:01 PM
No, not 50 years old. I'm 50 days sober. I logged in today and there it was like a neon sign with white letters on a dark blue background.

50 days ago today, I binged like crazy. I came to work and spent the better part of the day binging on prn. Funny thing, I did not wake up that day and say, "I think I will look at prn today." No! It happened much more seductively than that. I had an impulse, then a curiosity, then I was clicking around and BAM! I was hooked on it until quitting time.

So what have I learned? I have learned to BE PRESENT when impulses rear their ugly head. Its like an innocent little monster much like a Gremlin. Innocent at first and you feed it (or let it get wet) and BAM! It grows until it swallows you whole and you can't think straight. Now I say to myself, "Don't do it! Don't do it! Feeding those impulses just make them even more hungry and you are going to feel bad afterwards."

So far so good...


"Doing awesome. You ar kicking some serious tail. :)"
posted at 18:30:53 on April 5, 2013 by Anonymous
"me too.... awesome. Everyday is a Miracle. You have a sponsor? I do-and it really really helps. I love what you said feeding the impulses makes me more hungry. That for sure. I am never satisfied"
posted at 20:45:17 on April 5, 2013 by marie sober

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"Nothing is beyond [Christ’s] redeeming reach or His encircling empathy. Therefore, we should not complain about our own life’s not being a rose garden when we remember who wore the crown of thorns! Having bled at every pore, how red His raiment must have been in Gethsemane, how crimson that cloak! No wonder, when Christ comes in power and glory, that He will come in reminding red attire, signifying not only the winepress of wrath, but also to bring to our remembrance how He suffered for each of us in Gethsemane and on Calvary!"

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987