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this is really hard.................
By marie sober
3/27/2013 7:38:59 PM
I'm having a hard time. REally, what exactly helps you to stay sober? I'm at 43 days and I feel I'm bugging the crap out of my sponsor cuz I've text my sponsor a million times today. I don't want to bug them...but I started missing my old ways as I do every day and I started looking at porn and thought I better shut off my phone and leave my bedroom. I did. I'm still sober. I'm not counting that as ruin my sobriety cuz I stop when I was tempted. I didn't act out on it. I didn't masterbate or contact a guy....I've prayed but sometimes prayer doesn't seem enough. I would love to go meeting but busy with my kids and their things....oh this sucks. I hope today I can stay sober.

Comments:

Encouraging words...    
"...from someone who can only hope to reach 43 days. Its hard to stay sober if your just starting out or if you've been for a while. I don't have kids, but I can imagine what it would be like if I did. I would want to be someone who my kids could look up to. I would want to be the best person possible so that my kids could one day be proud to say they are just like their mom. Perhaps try thinking of your kids when that temptation is sneaking up on you. I think you did the right thing by shutting off your phone and leaving the room, that in and of its self takes a lot of strength.

You asked what keeps us sober. Well, I am just starting on the road to complete sobriety, but I can tell you that the thought of letting my family down is the main thing that is on my mind as I start this journey. I think family is such a big part of this journey. Cling to your children. Keep them close and keep them in your heart. Maybe they are the key to your sobriety."
posted at 23:00:14 on March 27, 2013 by SeekingHelp
oh @SEEKINGHELP!    
"look at you on the first time on this thing last night and searching for help and you just told me the WISEST WORDS! YOU ANGEL! Look at the spirit in you already. You good heart. I do have kids. It makes me feel like crap that I have this horrible secret...:( They are def worth fighting for to keep sober. Nothing should matter . No guys. No porn. etc. thanks hun.
Ya, I had my addiction in all this big time at your age also from young teen. I did get a lil better (white knuckling) and stay sober for years when my kids were little but my old ways came back again:( I didn't get help at age 22. It very cool your getting help before you have kids and a hub so this program of recovery can keep your strength. Bless you sweet soul."
posted at 00:00:01 on March 28, 2013 by marie sober
@SEEKINGHELP AGAIN    
"again thanks for reminder of my kids. My addiction I go in fantasy land and forget I have children at the moment:( They def are the reminder for me to keep up sobriety! I for sure want to be TRUE AND A GOOD EXAMPLE TO THEM!!!!!!!!! My addiction ways have hurt them so much:( Hopefully I can make a happy ending in my life story."
posted at 00:03:17 on March 28, 2013 by marie sober
Thank you, Seekinghelp    
"Your words of wisdom gave me hope and direction. Thank you for sharing your spirit with all of us."
posted at 03:15:19 on March 28, 2013 by Anonymous
Argh    
"Someone stepped on my phone and the screen won't work at all. Wish I could text, but phone is broken. Boo. :( Hope you are doing okay. Contacting people is what seems to help me a lot. I will say a prayer for you. Changing my energy helps me stay sober, also. Getting up and doing something. Anything. Like the gym. Going there is so helpful for some reason. Maybe because exercise is a physical thing and lust also can lead to physically acting out. I dunno.

I hope you are doing okay. This addiction is so frustrating! o_0"
posted at 09:14:10 on March 28, 2013 by g1rlie
@G1RLIE    
"aww, maybe their a reason from God willl your phone broken at this time;) but boohoo-I miss ya!!! Ya, I'm having a super hard hard hard time....I dont' know if I'm going to make it. This sobriety is really hard. I'm just having one of those days. Insecure, problems, stresses etc....I do know that acting out does numb out the problem that I'm facing right now. But also know that I'm create a bigger problem if I do act out....this sucks. I wish I didn't even have temptation. I could easily obey God will like alot of people. ...:( It really pretty outside-I might go for a run. I did yesterday but it didn't help that much to kick this stupid triggering. Ah, porn is so poisonous. I feel I invited a dark spirit in my home again."
posted at 10:35:10 on March 28, 2013 by marie sober
Evil spirits..    
"...are put in our path by Satan himself. These thoughts of "I can't do this" or "this is too hard" are being put in your head by evil spirits who want you to fail. I have this theory, and this is in NO way any kind of doctrine or scripture simply opinion, that for every evil spirit we have around us there are 3 good spirits. Problem is that the voices of the evil spirits are louder then the whispers of the good spirits. To hear the whispers you have to concentrate more. Call upon Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ to help you hear the whispers of the good spirits around you."
posted at 10:59:35 on March 28, 2013 by SeekingHelp
If you are interested....    
"WISA....Women in SA....They have resources to help women sex addicts. Also, there is a number you can call on the website to get a list of other women you can contact when you need help. This has been such a lifesaver for me at times. For Real. Here is the website: http://www.orgsites.com/id/womeninsa/"
posted at 11:26:27 on March 28, 2013 by g1rlie


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"The excuse is given that it is hard to avoid, that it is right at our fingertips and there is no escape. Suppose a storm is raging and the winds howl and the snow swirls about you. You find yourself unable to stop it. But you can dress properly and seek shelter, and the storm will have no effect upon you. Likewise, even though the Internet is saturated with material, you do not have to watch it. You can retreat to the shelter of the gospel and its teaching of cleanliness and virtue and purity of life. "

— Gordon B. Hinckley

General Conference, October 2004