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It seems so simple, right?
By G1rlie
3/14/2013 8:37:02 PM
Ug. Not sure what my problem is, but I am not succeeding over here.

The solution seems so simple, right? Just Stop.

Guess I have both lust and codependency issues because I am having difficulties maintaining no contact with my affair partner. Feels like I am in love with him, but realizing this is Not the case. I must be insane. All I want to do is stay in bed and not come out and hope my problem just goes away. But that's not gonna happen. Because I need to work the program in order to change.

This is no way to live. Gotta remember that overcoming discouragement is part of the test.

Argh. How long is this gonna take? Wish I could've been over this 2.5 years ago. Oh, well. Surrendering that this will take awhile. Boo. :/

Comments:

Boo?    
"What did Boo mean at the end of your post? Just curious. :) I'm not succeeding over here either Girlie. Wow, I hate this. It is all so strange to me. I feel like I just wanna crawl under a rock and cease to exsist..... body and spirit....

I'm tired of it. And no matter how good I do.... the wave eventually comes again and seems to be overpowering. I feel helpless. Soooooooooo STRANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the heck is going on??? I don't get it. I am insane with you. Work the program, work the program.... ug... it's hard to work the program when ALL of you is NOT wanting to at the moment waves hit.

I don't know what to say Girlie. I wish I had the magic words to wash it ALL away and for both of us and everyone on here to be normal.

I have contact to with my "someone"..... can't stop...seems literally impossible. I'm not kidding.... I have NO IDEA how I could totally stop all contact with her. NO IDEA!!!!!! She would have to command me to not contact her.... then I would stop... otherwise.... It aint gonna happen.

I'm scared. I'm scared for my salvation. I feel I'm am washing everything good down the drain, and probably am.

But....... I won't give up. I haven't for 25 years and still won't. I will keep trying. I may fail.. I may die (of natural causes silly) but I won't die NOT trying.

Best of luck Girlie..... I honestly wish you the best of hope and endurance as you put another step forward. Your not alone.... I feel your pain....cause I have it too. It is miserable. :(

Take care of yourself."
posted at 23:19:17 on March 14, 2013 by itstime
Call your sponsor    
"saw him Tuesday night (one of the Monday night girls told me who your sponsor is that's how I know). He is a spiritual giant. I haven't cried (and don't cry in general) because of a softened heart in...pfft, 2+ maybe 3 years. That guy squeezed 2 tears out me. 2 genuine tears! I love that man and know God is with him. He'll know how to help you Girlie.

p.s. I understand you may be keeping in good contact already. I guess I just wanted to express my confidence in your support group. Keep going. You're probably doing better than you think."
posted at 01:42:34 on March 15, 2013 by they_speak
@    
"It's Time...yeah, this situation is way too insane for me to handle. Ak!

@They Speak...yeah, my sponsor is awesome:). Thanks:). I texted him."
posted at 11:48:29 on March 15, 2013 by G1rlie
YOUR DOING SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    
"Seriously you tell me, are you better than a year ago? I didn't know you a year ago but are you? March 2012 how were you in this situation? Are you closer to God than last year? It takes progress. ....step step NOT 12 steps a-MILLION 12 steps....as long as your moving forward and thinking of God, Christ in your heart at least daily-that is amazing....! I'm curious how you were last year? It taken me more than 4 and half years of complete hell for me to get it. ....or care.....:( with many affairs...and loves.....cuz you have a good heart-you see the love in this guy and it totally normal....I was telling my hub I need to lose weight, and I said what if I have 1 cheat day a weak-and eat totally healthy 6 days a week...cuz their no way I can totally go off crap food totally-I would freak...So I consider having the once a week, and thought eat crap 4 times a month is better than eating crap 31 days....EAt crap 31 x12 is close to 365 days.....So if I eat crap 4 times a month that ONLY less than 50 times a year and that AMAZING...i totally not relating this and the your addict man BUT I'm just trying to prove look how many more days of your being sober and living God way is than your way....I do know t heir that strong scripture in the bible that I feel I have to have implanted in my head is the story about wife NOT to look back at her sinful ways or people...cuz she didn't care to obey Lord will since she wanted too-and she turned into salt.....Lot wife....sounds familiar cuz if feel totally like salt and weak and nothing when I'm acting out or replaying fantasy from past of sin, I do not feel whole at all. just a hole:("
posted at 18:24:20 on March 15, 2013 by marie sober


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"Develop discipline of self so that, more and more, you do not have to decide and redecide what you will do when you are confronted with the same temptation time and time again. You need only to decide some things once. How great a blessing it is to be free of agonizing over and over again regarding a temptation. "

— Spencer W. Kimball