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Getting back up.
By seeker
1/29/2013 5:24:25 PM
Lately I have been falling down a lot. I found myself saying it didnt matter and I was worth the pain and suffering to go through this anymore. I felt that my addiction was minor and I didnt need the church. I was wrong.

It didnt dawn on me until early this morning that those feelings are the same ones that kept me from doing what was right before. I admit I am not perfect, but recently all the mistakes seem overwhelming. I felt like everything I was doing was wrong. But this morning I felt different. I felt like I could do this again, I could pick myself up and take the Lords arm that was still stretched out to me. I still havent talked to my bishop seeing as how for the past few weeks I dont know who my bishop is, but I have come to know that even before I talk to the bishop I need to be on board 110%. I have to want this more than anything in the world and I now know for a fact I do.

This comes to me lately as I have been debating my life and where I stand. My younger cousin recieved a mission call and since then my father has been telling my brother and myself to put our papers in. I still cant seem to tell him why I would not be able to serve amd its breaking his heart that I refused to put my papers in. This morning I heard there was no age limit for sisters and it lit something inside me. Maybe I could serve. I am not sure if I will ever be able to but it gave me something to look forward to. Something to say "I am going to be my best so I can serve the Lord." It gave me hope that if I overcome this I will have something to look forward too. I felt hearing that was what I needed, seeing as how what Inwas missing was something to work towards that I felt worth while. I didnt see myself as anything worth while and now I see I can give myself and that will make me worth while. I hope I can get some answers and also some friends in my life that good for me and for now this is my goal.

Comments:

Best of luck    
"Achieving your goals is possible. You can do this:)"
posted at 07:46:14 on January 30, 2013 by Anonymous
No regrets    
"Unless you lie to your Bishop or Mission President about your worthiness, you will never regret working towards that mission goal and serving. But if you don't try and you don't serve, you will probably regret it.

No regrets.

Two major problems stand out in my mind when I consider the addicts I've encountered. 1) They think they need to be perfect, and this causes them serious problems with their addiction when they realize that they are not perfect. 2) In order to maintain a facade of perfection, they are not honest and open about their problems with their parents, spouse, and bishop. This secrecy and dishonestly leaves them without the spirit, and they can never overcome.

As I've said before, I don't think you need to be PERFECT to serve--or to do anything else in the Church. Don't be perfect. Just be honest. Go talk to your Bishop and tell him honestly exactly where you stand. Don't hide anything. He will help you get ready for a mission, if one is possible, no matter how unworthy you may feel.

Focus on preparing for the mission. Don't focus on avoiding your sin. Don't freak out if you slip up or move backwards once in a while. Don't be perfect. Get back up and keep preparing spiritually for your mission.

Then, when your Bishop says it's time to go--Go! (Even though you won't be perfect yet. You never will be in this life.)"
posted at 17:44:01 on January 30, 2013 by beclean
I agree    
"Perfect is so hard to be. We need to be the best we can be. The lord will help with the rest. Keep going but yes talk to your bishop as soon as you can. He is there to help you. He loves you as does the Lord. You will get there. Yes i am new to this but i will do this and i will help you out as much as i can. I will always be here for who ever wants to talk. Lets help each other. I start my recovery tonight with my bishop. I am one day without p&m. Yeah its not alot but its a day i dont have to feel bad about. We can do this."
posted at 12:41:40 on January 31, 2013 by Joshbc


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"You lived with your Heavenly Father in a premortal life. You were there with Him. Your spirit knows what it is like to live in celestial realms. You can never be truly happy in an uncelestial environment. You know too much. That is one of the reasons that for you, wickedness never can be happiness. What a great thing it is to decide once and for all early in life what you will do and what you will not do with regards to honesty, modesty, chastity, the Word of Wisdom, and temple marriage. "

— Larry W. Gibbons

General Conference October 2006