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3 year aniversary since C-Day
By ruggaexpat
1/12/2013 9:53:49 PM
And things are in many ways better and in other ways the same. One thing for sure is that my wife still struggles big time. She has learned to disctract herself but there are days that are so hard for her. Our family life has suffered greatly because of my addiction. Life will never ever be the same, just got to accept that. I used to write so much here, I spent a whole year on this site, in many ways it saved my sanity in others it kept me focused. I am always greatful for Derek and his inspiration to set this community up.

I have been through 2 years of non stop therapy, and 2.5 years of ARP meetings. Last while I have been in an area where we have no ARP meetings. I really miss them, they were so essential to my recovery. Those meetings gave me the best comprehension and understanding of the Atonement. I am an ARP meeting activist and always will be.

It is just so crazy how the same questions and challenges surface in these forums. Lust addiction is the same yesterday, today and forever, it has the same problems, symptoms and destructive elements. There are constantly guys posting for the first time asking for help to tell the wife. There are great wives that are quick to support the strangers because they themselves have experienced the pain. You guys are so awesome!

Anyways people keep pushing, keep trying, keep some humor and keep the faith.

It does get better if you work at it and stay close to the savior and that is all that matters. If you have just told your wife or you are about to tell her or you are thinking about it or even too scared to do it, remember this, freedom is a hell of a lot better than secret captivity.

All the best for an awesome 2013!

Comments:

C? What is this C?    
"w00t! Keep it up, Rugga. :)"
posted at 08:50:49 on January 13, 2013 by g1rlie
confession    
":)"
posted at 10:01:47 on January 13, 2013 by they_speak
Keep it up!    
"Rugga, you have strengthened and inspired far more people than you realize....thank you!!!"
posted at 10:23:52 on January 13, 2013 by Anonymous
Inspire    
"Thank you for the hope and confidence you have given me over the years and many others. Keep pressing forward and blessings will continue to come."
posted at 10:38:03 on January 13, 2013 by rachp
Thanks    
"@G1rlie - Confession Day - this day to me will live as the worst and best day of my life. Very bitter sweet. It was the start of freedom and the beginning of the most brutally hellish period of my life. It was the day that changed my life forever.
BTW you are making serious headway and I admire you for your courage to make things right. Stay strong sis.

Speak dude - good to see you are still there brother - gives me joy to know we are all fighting for a better life.

Anon Thanks for the kind words really appreciate it.

Rachp - ditto they will come but truth be told patience is a tough lesson to get through still.

Hang in there good people - love you guys"
posted at 19:58:14 on January 13, 2013 by ruggaexpat
hey rugga    
"good to see you, man!"
posted at 21:19:39 on January 13, 2013 by beclean
Rugga    
"Brother so glad to hear from you! I know it is hard and you said life will never be the same???.....and your wife still struggles. I know from experience that it takes the spouse longer to recover than the addict. I am not sure exactly why, I just know the same atonement that heals the addict heals the spouse. And especially those couples who are dealing with IA a addiction that has caused insurmountable pain to the spouse, recovery for the couple is a harder longer bumpier road.

Keep on the road, keep doing the the little things, the consistent behavior, that will speak truth to her heart. Your behavior will give her confidence to trust again. But, her recovery is her responsibility.

Life can throw curves that makes us wonder what truly is the plan. I know that perhaps in my situation the Lord gave us a crash course because his time was limited. But I am so thankful for the knowledge and experience that a celestial marriage can exsist on this earth, and that I was blessed to experience it if only for a short time. This is a testimony to me that our Lord is so full of grace and mercy."
posted at 23:41:28 on January 15, 2013 by Hero
Thanks, Hero    
"So good to see you hanging around, too!"
posted at 00:54:49 on January 16, 2013 by beclean


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"The Savior teaches that we will have tribulation in the world, but we should "be of good cheer" because He has "overcome the world". His Atonement reaches and is powerful enough not only to pay the price for sin but also to heal every mortal affliction… He knows of our anguish, and He is there for us. Like the good Samaritan in His parable, when He finds us wounded at the wayside, He binds up our wounds and cares for us. Brothers and sisters, the healing power of His Atonement is for you, for us, for all. "

— Dallin H. Oaks

General Conference October 2006