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Maybe someone who has some experience with recovery will read this...
By man4healing
12/24/2012 8:14:41 PM
So it's Christmas. Back in late summer, I had planned to give the Savior the "gift" of my being sober for a period of time. (It had gone from six months down to three, then two, then one...) Well, I can't give him that gift this year. I told him so yesterday. Another Christmas ruined by this addiction.

For some reason I don't understand -- but am coming to accept, at least -- the only way this addiction is going to change (and my life is going to change) is to work the 12 Steps. And practice surrender on a daily basis. And really work the program of SA. Honestly, I couldn't care less about long-term "benefits" that such a program of living would supposedly provide (molding my character, humility, etc.) If there was a magic pill out there that would make the whole thing just GO AWAY, I would pay whatever it cost.

If anyone with some experience in recovery reads this -- let me just say that the prospect of truly "diving in," if you will, to recovery (and SA/the 12 Steps/surrender/etc) seems like less of an abundant life and more like a LIFE SENTENCE. Yes, I'm in spiritual prison now to the addiction, but recovery actually seems worse. Like I trade one prison for another.

Although I know he won't, I wish God would just take it all away. Just THINKING about all the work that recovery requires, I look at that mountain and want to curl up and die.

Comments:

The Bottom    
"It's been said that when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change, this it's when change happens.

Yes, recovery is a way of life. But living sober is so much more wonderful than life as our addicts. For real."
posted at 15:50:55 on December 26, 2012 by Anonymous
Wow    
"Yeah, I promised the Savior also that I'd Never do it again as my gift to him for Christmas last year. It didn't work out so well for me, either. Boo. :("
posted at 15:53:11 on December 26, 2012 by G1rlie
Change    
"I remember feeling and thinking exactly as you did about recovery. I think everyone does. I started attending groups over 2.5 years ago - I attended 2 a week at first and now I'm just doing 1 a week. I'm on step 10 still as I've been trying to really implement each step. As you humble yourself and work each step, you will find, as I did, that your outlook and attitude will slowly transform as you do. You will no longer dread the work a life in recovery requires but greatly desire it. Be patient and keep doing what you know to be right. Your attitude will change little but little and it will seem more and more plausible. As you said, there is no quick fix to this."
posted at 09:09:21 on December 31, 2012 by recovery.gdo
Suggestions Needed    
"I'm about to begin serving as a group leader in the Church's Addiction Recovery Program. Does anyone have any suggestions re: how I can best succeed? Thanks."
posted at 15:49:22 on January 1, 2013 by Anonymous
@Anon Re: Suggestions    
"Humbly recognize that you can't succeed. Like me, you will say and do all kinds of things wrong.

It's the Lord's work. He will do it through you, if you don't get in the way."
posted at 17:14:15 on January 1, 2013 by beclean
What actions have you done to change?    
"Meetings?
daily recovery work?
Journalling?
Do you have a sponsor?
scripture study?
mediation?
Professional counseling?

the Lord created all of these tools for us to use? If we don't use them, then we really aren't serious about recovery.

for most addicts, we lie to ourselves and dive deeper until things are so bad we are willing to do anything to change. that's called hitting bottom.

good luck. One day at a time. Use all the tools"
posted at 18:15:18 on January 1, 2013 by Anonymous


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"My brethren who are caught in this addiction or troubled by this temptation, there is a way. Don’t accommodate any degree of temptation. Prevent sin and avoid having to deal with its inevitable destruction. So, turn it off! Look away! Avoid it at all costs. Direct your thoughts in wholesome paths. Please heed these warnings. Let us all improve our personal behavior and redouble our efforts to protect our loved ones and our environment from the onslaught of ography that threatens our spirituality, our marriages, and our children. "

— Dallin H. Oaks

General Conference, April 2005