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Will I lose it all?
By ambryophyte
12/9/2012 11:59:47 AM
So I'm an 18 year old Melchizedek priesthood holder, and I've been struggling with a pornography and mb addiction for several years now. I've won many battles, and lost many many more, but am constantly fighting. I've always been good at seeing the bishop about it, and I know how good it feels to get everything off your chest! I told my girlfriend about my problem, and of course it was and is hard on her, but she's been generally supportive.

However, recently I had been winning against satan and was able to put my papers in. I was called to the Sao Paulo Interlagos mission, and I report on April 24. In between that time and getting my call, I messed up. My girlfriend has since asked me if I've messed up, and I'm too scared of hurting her and losing the beautiful relationship and friendship we have, so I've lied to her. I feel really bad about it, but she'd be so hurt if she knew! I'm terrified of my call being revoked, and what else might happen! I'm also tired of going back to the bishop over and over again with the same thing, especially after I tell him how confident I am that I won't mess up again! I'm just scared and don't know what to do anymore, please help!!

Comments:

Been there    
"I am in a similar position, except I am married. Am currently undergoing church discipline. Messed up again.

It is my understanding that overcoming discouragement is part of the test. Like someone learning to play the piano, sometimes we hit a lot of wrong notes before we finally are good enough to get to Carnegie Hall.

Never, ever, Ever give up, bro. I hope everything turns out okay for you."
posted at 13:33:12 on December 9, 2012 by Anonymous
Been there    
"I am in a similar position, except I am married. Am currently undergoing church discipline. Messed up again.

It is my understanding that overcoming discouragement is part of the test. Like someone learning to play the piano, sometimes we hit a lot of wrong notes before we finally are good enough to get to Carnegie Hall.

Never, ever, Ever give up, bro. I hope everything turns out okay for you."
posted at 13:37:48 on December 9, 2012 by Anonymous
It's going to be ok    
"Honesty is key here. I doubt you lie to your bishop when you say you are never going to mess up. I'm sure you truly men it at the time. You are young and have a whole life ahead of you. No matter what happens with your call, relationship etc you always want to be honest and on the right path. A relationship based on a lie is not fair to either of you. It's not fair to yourself your bishop your future mission president no one .

It's scary but The Lord will walk with you and take you step by step through your challenges."
posted at 14:24:36 on December 9, 2012 by Smallnsimple
I feel sorry for addicts and Bishops    
"Often, neither the Bishop nor the addict understands addiction, That is why a Bishop asks for a promise, or a person who is addicted offers promises. In recovery you learn that once addicted you cannot make that promise. It is something you surrender to God and trust in Him.

Trust actions not words. We all feel like we will never do it again, until we do it again. That's the cycle of addiction. Work the program and when it is working for you, you will know. Only time will tell.

There is no such thing as a quick fix. Get yourself in recovery and to meetings. Work in you recovery book daily and let God be the one who can do for you what you can't. Never give up!"
posted at 23:30:49 on December 9, 2012 by Anonymous
Honesty    
"Congrats on the mission call and your previous successes. Sorry to hear about your recent trials. My advice is this - and it comes from facing similar decisions to yours and making the wrong choice.

1) Be honest with your bishop. Tell your bishop exactly what happened. Don't minimize a thing. With him, you can both figure out what the Lord would have you do. The longer you wait, the worse it will become. It will not just go away. Relapses are just like relapses in cancer - the longer they stay hidden, the more damage they will do.

2) Be honest with your girlfriend. I hate to say this, but by lying to your girlfriend you have done something much worse than relapsing in her eyes - you've lied to her. Relapses harms relationships, lying destroys them. Come out asap and tell her what happened. If you end up with this girl later, do you think you'll just always keep this hidden? What will happen if you relapse in the future?

You must get in the habit of bringing to light your mistakes. If you hide them now, you will hide them later. Face the consequences that might come about because of your actions - they are far less than if you continue to hide them. You've made some choices - now you've got to deal with them. It's a hard reality, but a necessary one right now. One never regrets being honest.

Good luck and let me know if you need more help.
recovery-gdodaat.blogspot.com"
posted at 16:13:55 on December 11, 2012 by recovery.gdo
Lose what all?    
"I have to agree with Recovery.GDO on this one.

Be HONEST. Step 1.

You MIGHT lose the girl. You MIGHT lose the mission. But, there's also a decent chance that you won't lose either this time, because of your honesty.

However, if you are dishonest and you keep it hidden and you start down a path of dishonesty and hiding, I guarantee that path WILL take the girl away from you, and it WILL cause you to lose everything your mission stands for and everything your mission brings to you.

You cannot afford to trade all that the Father has for you in the future for what you think you want right now. Be honest and keep working on this with complete honesty."
posted at 15:40:30 on December 13, 2012 by beclean


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— Larry W. Gibbons

General Conference October 2006