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I'm low
By SimonLeper
12/4/2012 4:14:53 PM
I just realized that I feel low. We went through a traumatic family event last night. I spent at least an hour shivering and shaking from rage, sadness, pity and the inability to do much about the situation. All was for the best in the long term. But I wasn't able to get any work done today due to the exhaustion and comforting my wife.

But I find myself aimless before work and I noticed an erotic thought, or feeling enter into my desire. I do not want to have aimless sexual desire. I want desire fueled by my wife and strictly with my wife. I feel aimless desire. I feel aimlessness. I write until I find direction.

I am exhausted and this does not help. I find a lack of desire for the things that I once cared about, threatened to be turned off like throwing a switch. There is understanding in writing. There is understanding in healing.

I want to be good and close to God. I feel a flurry of activity brewing. I am mostly just writing freely. I am writing freely. Does this make me seem crazy?

There is so much power in honesty. We do not let thoughts get mossy or things will get messy. I actually feel slightly better. I am exhausted from the night. I went through trauma. Today was a bust for getting any work done. It was a kind of recovery day. But this is just life.

God will never love me less because I am tempted. This is Satan's soundtrack playing in the background. God loves us through the deadwood and the mire. He sees who we can become. And we can become the sons and daughters of God to live by His side forevermore!

Comments:

This sounds like a difficult problem.    
"Praying for you. I hope you find the answers you area looking for."
posted at 06:29:02 on December 5, 2012 by Anonymous
Always Remember my good friend...    
"Being tempted is not sin....Sin is giving into temptation. God is allowing you to be tempted because He KNOWS you are ready to progress. When you overcome, you will be even stronger. I had a lot of temptation last weekend as I prayed for my desires to be changed. I feel that the more I pray for my desires to be changed the stronger temptation gets. I have noticed as I overcome the tsunami of tempation through relying on Christ I feel my desire changing and after the storm I feel closer to God. Satan will have us beat ourselves up for being tempted. But, we can't beat ourselves up because we are doing nothing wrong. As long as you give it up and don't dwell on the thought, you are doing fine. Keep hanging in there! you can do it! Read Matt 4 with Christ temptations. It always helps me keep in perspective that even he had to face that."
posted at 00:04:39 on December 6, 2012 by brady
Hey    
"I've noticed that you are here helping other addicts. I learned in SA that this is and act of surrender that helps minimize lust. Keep it up."
posted at 06:25:36 on December 6, 2012 by Anonymous
Hey    
"I've noticed that you are here helping other addicts. I learned in SA that this is and act of surrender that helps minimize lust. Keep it up."
posted at 06:26:11 on December 6, 2012 by Anonymous


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"If it were possible to make your road very easy, you wouldn’t grow in strength. If you were always forgiven for every mistake without effort on your part, you would never receive the blessings of repentance. If everything were done for you, you wouldn’t learn how to work, or gain self-confidence, or acquire the power to change. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990