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New here, I need support.
By TF
11/19/2012 12:56:17 AM
Hello everyone, first a bit about me I an 14 and almost 15 I am active in the church as well, I am also in teachers quorm and hold the Aaronic priesthood but thats a bit obvious. Now, i found this searching for ways on the web of how to tell my bishop I broke the law of chastity, I searched around this website to find out other saints like me struggle with sexual addiction I felt so uplifted, but then Satan came along at the end of my 24 hour fast and got me to look at pn and mb again and as I always do Immeditaly after I (sorry I dont know if I can use the next word) o**asm I think to myself "what am I doing? I'm a terrible disgusting person. Why? Why do I do this....." you get it. and I almost always feel like garbage after words. What are the steps to recovery I ask for you're help I need this I dont want to be trapped with Satan. And lastley I just realized Ive been an addicted for almost two years now. So please. Someone. ANYONE. HELP ME.

Comments:

TF    
"You are learning an important principle, my young friend. There is forgiveness. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. That's what repentance is all about. You have done the hard part by coming out of the shadows. Now just keep reaching out. Talk to your bishop. Read the 12 Step manual over there<--------- on the side of this website. You don't have to feel like this forever."
posted at 07:22:07 on November 19, 2012 by Anonymous
Guess what    
"You're not garbage. The adversary wants you to feel that you are, however. God don't make no junk.

I, too, have felt like a terrible, disgusting person because I've succumbed so many times to my addiction. Additionally, I've tried so many times and failed. It can get pretty discouraging at times. But overcoming discouragement is part of the test. I know from personal experience that the Grace of God IS sufficient to transform me and it is sufficient to transform you, also.

Guess what...Your bishop loves you. And the Lord loves you. The bishop is a representative of the Lord. He can help you. For me, when I told my bishop about my masturbation issue, he didn't shake his head in disgust, spit on the floor, give me a disgusted look and walk out of the room. He was loving toward me. He gave me a blessing.

The road to recovery is not easy. To be successful, a change from the inside out is necessary. We must no longer live our lives for our Selves. We must live our lives only to serve God. We must surrender our wills to God's will. In this way, we can find peace and happiness. In this way, we can truly Offend the devil, the father of all lies, who wants us to be miserable.

To be successful in recovery, I found that I needed help from my family. I took the computer out of my room and I made sure someone was tracking my activity on my cell phone. Mostly, I just stay away from my computer. Maybe your family can help you get an internet filter or maybe they can help by putting parental controls on your computer.

Also, in overcoming addictions, the change often doesn't come all at once. We gain progressive victory over lust. This can take time and sometimes even years. It can feel discouraging. Don't give up. If you fail, think of Thomas Edison: "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

I've been struggling for years. Finally, I am seeing results of my efforts.

What can help you? Surrender. Action. Your Higher Power which is God. We are powerless over lust. But our God can give us endless strength.

On Surrender:

Attending a 12-step recovery program is a form of surrender. If you get a sponsor there, your sponsor can help you surrender your lust. He can also help you work the steps. My sponsor told me some tips on overcoming lust that have worked really well. First of all, when you feel tempted, it helps to tell someone. I just tell my sponsor or another person in the addiction recovery program. When we shed light on the issue, this light dispels the darkness and temptation becomes easier to bear. We can also surrender to our God. How we pray when we surrender is very important. Remember not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from him. Thy will, not mine, be done. We pray to ask God for help, even for help when we may not entirely have the desire to quit. But remember to say, "Thy will be done." This is so important.

Other ways of surrender include helping others with addiction. When we serve others, we also serve God. We are surrendering our wills to His will. Find ways to serve, especially within the walls of your own home. A loaded train does not jump the tracks.

On the Grace of God---

Christ caused the blind to see and the lame to walk. He unstopped the ears of the deaf. He cast out unclean spirits. He can make us entirely whole. He CAN and WILL perform this miracle in our lives when we diligently seek Him.

How can He heal us?

Well, it is good that you are fasting. For myself, I've found that it's like Matthew 17:21: "Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting." Keep it up. :)

The Spirit of God is very sensitive. It is very easy to drive Him away. There are things we can do to invite Him into our lives so He can burn away our dross and refine us like gold. Service helps. Seek uplifting media including uplifting music and videos. LDS.org is a wonderful resource for finding uplifting media. For me, I entirely gave up mainstream music. I now listen to contemporary Christian music, classical music, and religious music. It has made a difference in my life. Listening to General Conference also helps. Also, make sure to avoid those who bring an influence of evil into your life. We don't avoid these people because we are better than they are. We avoid them because we are not strong enough to be able to handle being around them. The Holy Spirit doesn't like to hang around evil influences, either.

You Can heal. I know. I didn't feel there was hope for me, but I am finding hope now. Brother, I love you and I'm praying for you. God loves you. He didn't send you here to fail. His Grace is sufficient to transform you and to make you into a new creature through Christ."
posted at 07:35:59 on November 19, 2012 by Anonymous
Connecting with others....    
"See your Bishop as soon as possible....I can tell you as someone who has been down this path for many years, he is your friend and your ally in this battle. Satan would have you believe that you are worthless because of your sin. While you are too young to attend the church's 12-step PASG groups, you can start working the steps with the help of your Bishop. Live in the open. Make your life transparent to others. Get rid of your #$@$# I-phone so you can't access porn on your phone if that is a problem for you.

The good news is that you are stronger than this. Coming to see yourself the way Heavenly Father sees you is one of the goals of recovery. Start today!!
I wish I had all of these resources at my finger tips when I was your age. You can do this!! Your Bishop has a sacred responsibility to keep his meetings with you 100% confidential. call him (text him) today!! Good luck!"
posted at 08:52:42 on November 19, 2012 by chefdalet
Act now!    
"I agree fully with the others that have commented here.

1) see your bishop NOW. call him and visit him. Addiction thrives in secrecy. Reach out. Talk to others. Your parents, friends, anyone. I've never regretted reaching out, only not reaching out. feel free to visit my blog at recovery-gdodaat.blogspot.com and keep in touch. You've now got at least one friend who understands.

2) attend recovery meetings (lds 12 step or sexaholic anonymous). there you will meet people that are just like you and can help you quit. you are not alone.

Do these 2 things now and things will go better. It will take a while to get out of this - but don't get discouraged. You've spent (I'm guessing) a while developing the habit, it will take just as long to get out of it."
posted at 12:43:11 on November 19, 2012 by recovery.gdo
Thank you all so much.    
"I feel so much better, I was feeling okay but now I feel more comforted that I have a community of people who truley backing me as well, I feel so much more uplifted. But im still wondering how would I let the bishop know? What do I say? and once again thank you all so much.
P.S. It's hard to not listen to mainstream music when you want to be an musican (well just an overall entertainer) :P"
posted at 15:15:06 on November 19, 2012 by TF
Be open    
"Hey TF,
Glad to hear you're feeling better. I don't think there's any secret to how you will let the bishop know. First thing is you call the executive secretary in your ward and set up an appointment with the bishop (or ask him directly at church). Then when you are talking with him, state the following things:
1) what do you have a problem with
2) how long have you had a problem with it
3) what are you doing now to change
You will be blown away by the support and love that your bishop will show you. I would suggest setting up a meeting with him every week or every other week to follow up how you are doing.

As far as the music thing - be careful of the message of the music you're listening to. Some (very little...) mainstream has good messages - a lot of it has a trashy "do what you want, when you want, who cares about the consequences" message that can put you in the wrong mind set pretty quickly."
posted at 15:23:11 on November 19, 2012 by recovery.gdo
Wow    
"I am sooooooo glad I found someone write, "The bishop is a representative of the Lord. He can help you." Another commenter above says, "The bishop is your friend." Really!!! Really? Revenge is a dish best served cold (Old Klingon Proverb). I won't go into my issues with a certain Bishop, but bishops are NOT....I repeat NOT your friend in dealing with lust or any matter. Kid, bishop's and their human advise are the millstone that will cast you into the lake. Enjoy your youth. Don't be ashamed of your sexuality. Private fantasy in your own room is about the most benign thing you can do. I would rather see you looking at a Hustler magazine than acting out on some poor unsuspecting girl because of all that pent up anger and frustration. If you find that certain someone (either inside or outside marriage) don't you want to know what to do and her to do, rather than 'giggle and make the sheets or couch cushions sticky?"
posted at 00:40:31 on November 22, 2012 by Anonymous
@above anon    
"If you are to be your own god or if sex is to be your god instead of God the Eternal Father, you've given excellent advice. If one follows this advice, it is an excellent blueprint for misery. Wickedness Never was happiness."
posted at 03:15:09 on November 22, 2012 by Anonymous
wow wow anon and thanks    
"Tf anon is the perfect example that there is opposition in all things. .

Anon, thanks for illustrating what the Devil whispers into every addict's ear when they choose to live their purpose. Now TF knows what it looks like when Lucifer is tempting him."
posted at 08:34:23 on November 22, 2012 by Anonymous
Overcoming sexual temptation    
"As someone who struggled with sexual temptation from a very young age, I have learned that it was not enough for me to go to my bishop and confess. Reading scriptures and saying my prayers helped, but was also not enough.

Few bishops understand addiction. I was an addict from a very young age, but did not realize it. When I finally found an online LDS 12-step recovery meeting through heart-t-heart.org, I began to learn how to truly turn to the Lord every day. By crying out to him each day to apply his atoning blood, with the same intensity as Alma the younger (Alma 36:18), I learned he will change my desires and fill me with His love. Only by relying on the Savior and his merits and mercy and grace, can I rise above my mortal, carnal nature. It is not MY doing, it is His doing, but I must desire it and ask for it.

I, too, felt disgusted with myself every time I fell. But I have experienced God's message to me that he looks at me with the same wonder and awe we feel when we hold a newborn baby. Think of a parent helping a toddler learn to walk. The toddler falls down over and over. The parent is just a few inches or feet away, arms outstretched, encouraging the toddler to get up and try again. When the toddler falls, the parent is not angry or disappointed in their child. They know that it is a necessary part of the learning process.

We are each spiritual toddlers learning to walk. If we will learn how to connect with the Savior each day, we will find he is waiting with outstretched arms to encourage us, to welcome us, to love us.

May the Lord bless you in learning how to come to Him. "
posted at 10:49:10 on November 24, 2012 by KeithH
Hey Wow Anon    
"That is the most wicket piece of advice I have seen given on this site.
Sour grapes dude and much more sour advice. Feel sorry for you, really I do, hopefully you get the peace you are looking for. Bishops are awesome!!!!!"
posted at 19:06:37 on November 25, 2012 by ruggaexpat
No matter what...    
"No matter where this addiction takes you, always stay close to the Lord's servants. Believe in the Priesthood and how it can protect you.
Don't pay any attention to those who would tear down your efforts towards sobriety. Never!"
posted at 21:45:51 on December 2, 2012 by SimonLeper


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"Just as the landfill requires dedicated work and attention, laboriously applying layer after layer of fill to reclaim the low-lying ground, our lives also require the same vigilance, continually applying layer after layer of the healing gift of repentance.…Our Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ, feel sorrow when we choose to remain in sin, when the gift of repentance made possible through the Atonement can clean, reclaim, and sanctify our lives. When we gratefully accept and use this precious gift, we can enjoy the beauty and usefulness of our lives... "

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General Conference October 2006