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Trying really hard...
By g1rlie
10/26/2012 9:59:21 AM
That's all I can say for myself at this point. Greg (my drug) called me last night. The first 3 times, I did not answer. I had the phone set up to reject his calls. Then I unrejected his calls. :/ Not the smartest idea. :/

Then on the fourth time he called, I answered. And, surprise, surprise, he wants to act out with me. Shouldn't have answered the phone. I told him I wouldn't. He said, "But what if I was right in front of you?" I told him I would act out with him. But I told him it would kill me inside and I asked him to not put me in that sort of position because I am not okay living that way.

I hope he stays away.....

Guess I need to surrender more. Maybe I should change my phone number. I don't know. But then, if I get Really impulsive (like I sometimes do), I will just let him know what my new phone number is.

I guess I'll just need to practice making correct choices. I'm also asking all of his friends who live here (one of them is my current manager) to warn me if he comes into town because if he is coming In town, I am going Out of town. I'm tired of hiding, and Greg's friends are LDS. Maybe they will understand. Maybe not. I don't care. I'm getting desperate to stay out of trouble. I already asked my current manager to warn me. He already knew I was involved with his friend. :/

Comments:

sin is never worth it    
"I know, sorry you are having temptations, we all crave to be loved, easy to accept something we can see in front of us, feel and touch, listen with our mortal ears. You are a daughter of God, an eternal princess, please fill your life with so much good you won't have time for the bad, don't tempt the grey area, so to speak, i know, being a hypocrite, but this helps me too, don't answer questions leading into the dark, stay in the light, hang up, push away, it's better to ride the guard rail than go off of the cliff, if that makes sense. the standards are there for our protection, we can't change the past, satan will never forget the sins of our past, uses them to try and mess up our future. You are worth it, keep strong, don't answer questions that will lead into the grey area, hard to do i know, I also have desires to feel loved that i have turned to unwholesome ways, thank you for your post. Hope I have not offended you, with unconditional love, your brother."
posted at 10:11:17 on October 26, 2012 by LDS_BROTHER
.    
"Disciplinary council in 2 weeks. Ak! The bishop said I must do this. I disagreed and said that I don't have to do it, I could just run. But I'm not going to run. Oh, well. :/"
posted at 16:20:26 on October 28, 2012 by g1rlie
:-)    
"You are very brave Girlie... I admire you!"
posted at 17:51:53 on October 29, 2012 by siouxsie
Chin up! you will make it.    
"I know what you feel like.. And know all about the desire to run or not show up. Our addiction is about running away from reality. We are really good at it! Recovery is facing reality head on.

You are brave. There's nothing like the bright like of a council to light things up and get some of the sickness cauterized out."
posted at 23:08:22 on October 29, 2012 by Hurtallover
the whole story...???    
"I'm not sure I know the whole story. I've read a few of your blogs. It seems if I have read everything right you have a "friend" with whom you have had a relationship with. He is still pursuing you. Are you still with your husband?

If you can answer that I'd appreciate before I comment further. Thanks."
posted at 16:08:21 on October 31, 2012 by sunnydays


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"The Savior teaches that we will have tribulation in the world, but we should "be of good cheer" because He has "overcome the world". His Atonement reaches and is powerful enough not only to pay the price for sin but also to heal every mortal affliction… He knows of our anguish, and He is there for us. Like the good Samaritan in His parable, when He finds us wounded at the wayside, He binds up our wounds and cares for us. Brothers and sisters, the healing power of His Atonement is for you, for us, for all. "

— Dallin H. Oaks

General Conference October 2006