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To Anonymous...
By mcr285
3/13/2007 11:33:25 AM
You shared your story the other day, about your husband looking at porn about 8 months ago and just now confessing. It sucks to be where you are at. I was there not too long ago. One thing you can't forget is that you are not alone in this. You of course have your Heavenly Father and your Savior to turn to, but if you need physical, here on the earth, tangible support, and like me, you can't turn to the people you know, there's this site you can always come to.

Join the site, and you can post strictly to the wives, or to everyone, depending on how you're feeling. Sometimes it helps to come here and just lay it all out, rant about all the garbage in your head, rip into your husband and all the crap he's done to you and put you through, and post it as an only for the wives and loved ones to read. That way you've let it out for someone to hear and respond to, instead of bottling it all up. I've done it a lot and it's really helped. See, inevitably you'll get responses from either the wives who've been there and can talk you through it, OR you get responses from the wives who are right there with you and at least make you feel less alone and wicked in your homicidal feelings towards your husband!!! :)

And if you post a general to everyone blog, you can get responses from the husbands here, who are going through what your husband is dealing with. If your husband is anything like mine, he isn't really open with his feelings, so it's hard to figure him out. The husbands here are pretty open and honest with what they're going through, and it really helps to get their insights.

Be prayerful, whatever you do. You have every right to be angry, feel hurt, etc. And it does take quite awhile to get through it. Don't expect yourself to forgive your husband right away, because you need time to sort through your feelings AND you need time to see that your husband is sincere. It isn't easy to regain trust after it's been shattered by the one person we trusted most.

Anyway, hope this has helped a little.

Comments:

Thank You!!    
"Thank you for your comments, I visited this site right after I posted and haven't since. I have gone through every emotion in the book and through self reflection cannot still honestly say where I am at. After my husband told me what he did and some other sins that he has dealt with long before we were married, I could feel the evil in our home, I felt like one of those cartoon characters with an angel on one side and Satan on the other. I could feel and hear Satan telling me it's my fault, I'm worthless and drove my husband to sin, he would tell me to leave him, he cannot change and I can never truly trust him. But most important was the spirit telling me that the atonement does heal and we can become stronger from this. I had a prayer in my heart every couple minutes just to drive away the evil forces that were trying to get to me. The Lord blessed me with the knowledge to discern the difference between my thoughts, Satans and the spirits. Thus giving me the power to pray as soon as a negative thought came through my head and being blessed with the peace or as I've beem referring to it a protective bubble around me. I realize how hard Satan wants to break up my family and how wonderful the power of prayer is. I feel unworthy of the blessing in my life (again a satan thought) But I know the Lord is blessing my family and my husband. He is trying and the Lord is letting me see that in different eyes so that I know that maybe right now I cannot forget and trust, but down the road we will be made stronger because of this trial. My husband has a very hard time expressing his feelings, but as I realized so do I. I bought a notebook and we both write in it, letters to each other with our thoughts and feelings at the time. It is so much easier to be honest (and loving) when we write it down instead of trying to trust the others reactions. I hope that in the future we can sit and talk to each other again in a deep conversation, but the conversation line is open again and I feel the Spirit helping me throughout this. Thank you so much for your post, I was getting ready to reply to my husbands last note in the notebook when I just had a feeling I should come and see some of the comments. I will get around to signing up as it has been a blessing to vent even a little bit, since I cannot tell another soul (besides the bishop) of how I feel. I don't want my husband to have to face others judgements the rest of his life and so that leaves me feeling alone battling this by myself. So thank you, comments from the wives has been so helpful and some of the husbands has brought me insight to what my husband is dealing with. I know we have a long way to go, but I also know that my husband is truly repenting for what he has done and through the atonement and the Lords help we will become a stronger family to fight the adversary."
posted at 15:19:12 on March 22, 2007 by Anonymous
Thank You!! Is me    
"Okay, I joined and wow it only took two seconds. So here I am, even if my user name is only Wife, I feel a little exposed! But I know it will help to talk to people who are dealing with what I am going through. So Thank you."
posted at 15:32:38 on March 22, 2007 by Wife
Welcome Wife!    
"Okay, I had this big long comment written, and then somehow got kicked off the site and lost it. It was beautiful and full of the spirit and inspiring, and written before my kids woke up.... yeah. So this isn't going to quite be the same, but I did want to say welcome, and thank you for your words.

It's good to be reminded every now and then, of where my husband and I were just a short time ago.... and how far we've come since then. I think we sometimes get complacent and forget how much we struggled, and how easy it would be to fall again. So again, thank you. Your story reminds me that there are several things I need to do in order to protect myself and my family from the EVIL that can so easily come into our home. Satan is so sneaky, and so subtle, that sometimes he works his way in, without our even knowing or recognizing him until it's too late! I need to be more on guard!

It's easy enough to see porn and say "Oh, that's evil!" and turn away from it, but what about everything else? There are shows we love to watch, that have their charcters making regular visits to seedy places (strip clubs, porn studios, adult stores.... etc), and their reason to visit is innocent enough (I love crime dramas, that's where I see this the most), but they're still going there, it's still featured in the show, you see the scantily clad women dancing around provocatively, and even though they're way in the background, not the main feature in the show, suddenly I realize that my husband is hiding his face behind a pillow and asking me to change the channel or tell him when it's over. HELLO, Satan! So sneaky. Now, if it's not History or Discovery, my husband doesn't watch tv, unless I screen it first.

Anyway, so thank you for the reminder, thank you for your testimony and strength. You are not alone in this! :)"
posted at 09:15:10 on March 23, 2007 by mcr285
So True    
"Me and husband were going to watch a movie the other night, "The Holiday"? Anyways we got 10 minutes into it and I already was thinking Oh Great, this is going to be uncomfortable, we'll my husband said lets watch that other show that was on T.V! I was so grateful. I am so mad that such little things have been ruined by this. Even something so simple as going to the mall, I have to avoid walking past Victoria Secret. I am constantly changing the channel when my husband walks into the room because some commercial or something comes on and flashes woman in bikini's,underwear etc.. I to enjoy the crime shows (or more my husband does and has gotten me in them) But every episode seems to have something in the background. I am grateful to say that unless I turn on the T.V and am monitering it, he wont even turn it on. Anyways I better get ready now that I got the little one down for a nap."
posted at 09:24:21 on March 23, 2007 by wife


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