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I feel as if I am not Worthy...
By missie
10/23/2012 12:46:34 PM
If you read back on my other blog you'll know I talked to my bishop about my little issue and he said God will not hold be accountable for what I did when I was younger.

This may also be because I am struggling with my testimony or it may not, but all I know is I need advice!

I do believe the bishop when he said God would not hold me accountable for my under age sin, but in a way I still feel like I am not worthy enough to enter or get married in the temple (mostly get sealed). I've never committed a bad sin or had another addiction (besides food (working on that:D)) other than my under age sin. So why do I feel like I am not worthy? (Yes I know you can't answer this, but give me advice).

I feel like God has forgiven me (like my bishop said).

Comments:

Forgive everyone    
"We are supposed to forgive everyone. And that includes ourselves. Sometimes, this can seem hard, though. Hang in there..."
posted at 15:02:40 on October 23, 2012 by g1rlie
!    
"Thanks! Guys you are awesome!"
posted at 16:36:53 on October 23, 2012 by missie
Missie!    
"I read your earlier blog post about what happened to you when you were a child, and in my humble opinion, you are feeling unworthy over something that was not your fault. It sounds like you were a victim of sexual abuse, plain and simple. That's not to say that your friend meant to victimize you - she was probably acting out abuse that had happened to her. The insidious part of childhood sexual abuse is that we blame ourselves, when in truth, we had no idea what was happening and no responsibility for it. Our bodies betray us, we enjoy the attention, we care about the person who is abusing us, in many cases we participate in the abuse, and all this leads to us feeling like we wanted the sexual contact and that we are dirty, unworthy people.

My brother molested me from a young age (he had previously been molested by a Boy Scout leader), and I remember feeling responsible for the abuse and unworthy to get baptized, but I never told my Bishop. Instead, I got baptized at age 8, knowing that the abuse would happen again and I would be unclean all over again. After a lot of counseling later on in my life, I have come to realize that the abuse was not my fault.

Please don't let a horrible event that happened in your life make you feel like you're not good enough. You shouldn't carry the shame for what happened. Understand that it was not your fault and that our Heavenly Father has never held you accountable for it. I know that He will help you heal from this and feel like the beloved Daughter of God that you are."
posted at 22:07:43 on October 23, 2012 by hopeful78
HOPEFUL78    
"Thank you so much! I don't know what to call it all I know it I don't think she understood either. I suppose with time I will get over it and heal. healing takes time and is a process, this I know, but it's the how long that bugs. Thanks!"
posted at 19:00:32 on October 24, 2012 by missie
You've been remade    
"A child trusts so easily. God knows that. In fact he rejoices in it. He also knows that in our broken world our trust will be broken in some of the most painful ways imaginable. He allows the experience. It moves us to a choice. You were young and were not in a place you could choose what was happening, you were too compelled. Christ is the answer to the pain you feel. God is not a God of guilt. He already knows that you will choose His son. You are the one now who gets too experience the healing we are promised...

In this life we will face many strange happenings. Some are of our doing, some are not. This is not about guilt or fault. Satan loves to keep us stuck in the details. He loves to keep us in our past pain, He wants us to hold on to shame and pain for as long as possible. Satan adores shame. Christ came to free us from pain and shame, he came with healing in His wings and that is called the great Atonement. He heals it all in just the twinkle of a moment and wants to change us all the way down to the core of our soul. When that happens, we are never the same again. You become remade in him. That happened to me and I am new, It is real and everyday I praise Him because I love him, He rescued my soul from pain and sin, past present, and future. I have been remade and you can too. All you have to do is ask. Every day that I continue to make Him the center of my thoughts, He gives me the plan. He directs my path. When I try to do it, something is missing. But when He does it, he continues to amaze me by giving me His strength to endure and feel joy!

What happened to you was not what you wanted, but it happened for a reason. What happened to you is designed to send you searching for the Savior. He already healed you, you just have to accept it.

Please watch this video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3EWHPp80EA


Then watch this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwtcwQwgdsA "
posted at 07:56:30 on October 25, 2012 by angelmom
you are more    
"Angelmom,

I love that video and that song. I also love you. You have no idea how much you and your writings have helped me. I am six months sober from porn/sex addiction. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your son is in my prayers, and your whole family."
posted at 09:46:19 on October 25, 2012 by Anonymous
ANGELMOM    
"I love that song! I just never really applied it to my situation. It made me cry watching it and applying it to me. Thank you so much!"
posted at 12:39:30 on October 25, 2012 by missie


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"Nothing is beyond [Christ’s] redeeming reach or His encircling empathy. Therefore, we should not complain about our own life’s not being a rose garden when we remember who wore the crown of thorns! Having bled at every pore, how red His raiment must have been in Gethsemane, how crimson that cloak! No wonder, when Christ comes in power and glory, that He will come in reminding red attire, signifying not only the winepress of wrath, but also to bring to our remembrance how He suffered for each of us in Gethsemane and on Calvary!"

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987