Print
Oh, well...
By g1rlie
10/15/2012 11:57:26 AM
Can't do anything about this. I get to have a disciplinary council. Yeehaw. Oh, well. :/ Now the "fun" begins....:/

Comments:

good luck.    
"Well be thinking about you. You're on the right track"
posted at 14:34:06 on October 15, 2012 by Anonymous
You will be fine....    
"G1rlie,
Have been through dozens of these, and really....as hard as it may seem to go through it, you will come out the other side whole. Your Bishop will take the time to meet with you in advance and explain the process. If he doesn't, ask him to. The brethren who are on the council will be brethren from your ward who are given additional confidentiality warnings prior to the start of the council. They will proceed prayerfully, and will assist the Bishop in making the final decision after he has heard from each of the brethren on the council. Your Bishop will make the final decision, and will give you a written plan to help you get back to where you need to be. Take someone who will be a comfort to you....most important, do not hold anything back. Let them know all the details, and what you are doing to make things right with your family and the Lord.
DO NOT FEAR THIS!!!!It will hasten your repentance and recovery."
posted at 16:14:04 on October 15, 2012 by chefdalet
Thanks for being supportive:)    
"..What I don't understand is why the bishop wants to talk to my husband about this...."
posted at 02:06:39 on October 16, 2012 by G1rlie
Maybe....    
"As a Bishop I always included the spouse when moral transgressions were involved, especially if Temple covenants are involved. When we speak of "recovery", I always speak in terms of three separate recoveries where married couples are concerned. You will each have your own recovery from this, and you will have a recovery as a couple. Your Bishop is smart to start the healing process with both of you simultaneously. Typically in cases of infidelity, the other spouse will suffer from a wide range of feelings and emotions. Some have described it similar to PTSD. Trust the process. Attend meetings. Pray together! Just my two cents."
posted at 12:19:27 on October 16, 2012 by chefdalet
Thanks, Chefdalet    
":) Thanks :)

So, does my husband go to my court thingie with me? What if I just want to go by myself?"
posted at 12:57:11 on October 16, 2012 by g1rlie
You can go alone if you wish....    
"It's not called a court anymore...It's called a "Bishop's Council". You'll be fine!"
posted at 13:55:39 on October 16, 2012 by chefdalet
Agreed with HURT.....but,    
"There is a slight difference in the process for sisters. Because she is a sister, G1RLIE will appear before a Bishop's Council which has a vastly different feel than that of a High Council process. I agree though, don't fret the process. Don't over-think it. Trust your Bishop as your advocate and friend. He holds the keys to hasten and help you through this process. Stay close to the sisters here, and get the help you need. I am a firm believer in working the steps, regular visits with your Bishop, and counseling. It is a three-legged stool approach. Breathe!!!"
posted at 16:44:35 on October 16, 2012 by chefdalet
id have him come along    
"when youre married you share in the ups + downs...youre a team. problems + issues are shared together...
i hope you guys can work through this together. you need a 3rd party to help work thu these issues and things going on. to solve these issues youre going to need some help it will be really hard to over come by yourselves...
i wish you all the best..."
posted at 17:08:05 on October 16, 2012 by skyteamst90
Wait, so....    
"Are there sisters at the Bishop's Council? Who is at this type of council?"
posted at 09:09:48 on October 17, 2012 by g1rlie
Don't know yet    
"...when the council is. The bishop said he'd let me know in a few weeks. One of the things he is waiting on is a chance to talk to my husband. So, I guess I'll find out more later on. Scary thing is, I feel that I am likely to commit this sin again if I can't keep Greg away from me. He still wants to act out with me. He sometimes says so in emails. So, I'm trying to do things to keep him away. Trying to cut off all communication with him. Sometimes, I slip in this, though. It's really hard for me because of my feelings for Greg. It's kind of silly, I think, that I have these feelings for him even though I feel he is very bad news for me, though. Don't know how to turn off my feelings for him. :/"
posted at 13:37:57 on October 17, 2012 by g1rlie
Oh, and part of my plan backfired...    
"Part of my plan to keep Greg away backfired. I told his real girlfriend that I was involved with Greg and now she dumped him. So now he seems like he wants to be with me again, but I know what he's about and he's just not my bag anymore. Except these feelings are killing me...the feelings I still have for him and haven't figured out how to turn off. Luckily, he lives over 1200 miles away....

Yeah, I thought he'd be busy at this time trying to work it out with his girlfriend. I mean, he kept telling me to work it out with my husband, but he doesn't follow the advice he gives me? Hmmmm...Don't know what is up with that man. Oh, well. I guess he's not someone I should worry too much about since I really need to worry about myself and my husband at this time."
posted at 15:29:51 on October 17, 2012 by g1rlie
Pray    
"Pray and ask Jesus to take those thoughts out of your head. Ask him to cleans your soul of the desire, your mind of the memories so as you look upon your past as a shadowed memory. Do not allow the invitations to enter your thought process and when you fail ask for your Savior's help again. It is still your choice Girlie, Jesus will be there if you ask. He loves you and wants to perserve your family. Christ is the most powerful, not Satan. But you have to call on Him, he will not take your agency."
posted at 19:05:34 on October 17, 2012 by Hero
I don't know...    
"I'm convinced that prayer isn't enough. I've been praying all along. It appears there are other things I need to do as well, in addition to praying. But I am working those issues. My sponsor says it takes time. I've also read it takes practice of some things in the program in order to be sober and in order to maintain sobriety."
posted at 19:59:37 on October 17, 2012 by g1rlie
What I'd REALLY like to know is...    
"Okay, so in Jesus' day, He and his apostles would cast evil spirits out of people. Why isn't this done today? I think it should be still done. I mean, seriously. :/ I wish someone could help me do this, maybe it would be helpful. :/"
posted at 22:13:20 on October 17, 2012 by g1rlie
-    
"You cannot help the way you feel about certain people. There are women I am attracted to that are not my wife. I just avoid them.

Do not talk to this man at all. Delete all e-mails, voice messages, and take no phone calls from him. Fill your life with something else that is good. Ask that the LORD will guide you to something good to fill your life with."
posted at 00:17:37 on October 18, 2012 by Anonymous
Get a blessing.    
"Have you asked for a priesthood blessing? Powerful tool!!

Prayer, I know it is hard, but ask in confidence, expecting to receive. That is faith. Yes miracles are here today just the same as when Jesus walked the earth. We are told in the scriptures and in the temple how to cast out Satan. I believe it is the first step we should take when we desire to be free........ Serch the scriptures. "
posted at 01:45:29 on October 18, 2012 by Hero
Fasting    
"To hunger and thirst after righteousness. To me that is what that scriptural phrase represents.
Also another powerful tool. Alongwith all the other recovery tools, group, counseling, sponsor,working the steps.. Recovery is work.. Reading recovery books and scriptures. If you are truly active in recovery there is little extra time for acting out."
posted at 01:51:35 on October 18, 2012 by Hero
Fasting    
"Yeah, I probably should do that. And, I feel I should start with a media fast. If I'm not on the Internet, for instance, I won't be tempted to see if he just so happened to email me (and he did this morning), and I won't be tempted to email him. Fasting is a good idea. :)"
posted at 09:15:23 on October 18, 2012 by g1rlie
Oh, man....    
"And maybe I should start a media fast effective IMMEDIATELY!!!! Greg wants to do something with me and here I am trying to repent. ARGH!!!!!!! Danger! I'm outta here. Catch all y'all later..."
posted at 09:20:20 on October 18, 2012 by g1rlie
Email Rules    
"Every email program whether its Outlook or gmail has inbox rules. Just create a rule to immediately and automatically delete all email from his address (or all of his addresses if he has more than one). You'll never see them again and never be tempted to respond.

Matthew 5:30 - And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell."
posted at 11:21:59 on October 18, 2012 by Anonymous
@Anonymous--    
"Okay. Good advice. I'll just figure out my email program. Good reminder. :)"
posted at 13:36:53 on October 18, 2012 by g1rlie
And yet...    
"Part of me wants to figuratively run away to Africa to escape the Illuminati, just like Dave Chappelle did. :) Ah, but I cannot do this...."
posted at 13:39:25 on October 18, 2012 by g1rlie
part of addiction recovery is accepting consequences    
"took me a while to realized that. We are all good at getting out of consequences."
posted at 17:47:14 on October 18, 2012 by Anonymous
Freedom!    
"Responsibility, accountability = Freedom

Write it if it speaks yo you. Post it where you need reminders."
posted at 19:57:00 on October 18, 2012 by Hero
My opinion    
"Church discipline in this context is retarded. Means nothing. Spiritual unanswereds for medical dilemmas. Absurd. Take what ya can from the court of cluelessness. Forget the rest.

These statements are not necessarily those of the church of Jesus Christ or it's management."
posted at 04:01:19 on October 19, 2012 by Anonymous
Haha    
"I want to run away to Africa not because of the discipline, but to get away from Greg. :) But..."You can't run from trouble. There ain't no place that far"--Uncle Remus."
posted at 07:55:37 on October 19, 2012 by G1rlie
@ anon -- I agree.    
"People that are good but do stupid stuff is WAY different from someone in rebellion.

I think the church discipline is fine. It's done lovingly (in my case) and provides some formality and seriousness to the situation. It sets up a work plan to work against. It's also good for an addict because the discipline council is kinda like giving a first step and getting all the crap unhidden which is EXACTLY what an addict needs.

I personally think excommunication should be for rebellion and not sinners. But I'm not getting much revelation for the whole church these days. :-)

-hurt"
posted at 09:25:55 on October 19, 2012 by Anonymous
Yeah, the plan sounds nice...    
"And I hope it helps. For real, it is the only thing about this disciplinary council that I am looking forward to. Has anyone else found these plan thingies to be helpful?"
posted at 12:30:49 on October 19, 2012 by g1rlie
You can block emails and telephone calls    
"Just Google "How to block unwanted cell phone calls" and also "How to block emails", and you might include the service you use (such as AT&T for cell phones, Hotmail for emails, etc.).

Click on one of the sites that comes up and just follow the instructions. Email blocking should be free, but blocking unwanted calls (including "unknown" numbers) might cost (about $5 per month, I think, but well worth it).

Don't leave yourself susceptible to temptations when they're so easy to block."
posted at 14:37:03 on October 19, 2012 by dog
@Dog    
"Yeah, good point. Plus, I heard somewhere that temptation can't get through a door that is closed. :)"
posted at 09:59:38 on October 21, 2012 by g1rlie
One of the first questions they will ask in discplinary council is..    
"Do you still have contact with the other man?"
posted at 13:28:51 on October 21, 2012 by Anonymous
Argh!    
"Sometimes. I'm trying not to. But, still do. :/"
posted at 14:35:25 on October 21, 2012 by g1rlie
Darn it.    
"I'm going to get ex'ed. Aren't I? :/"
posted at 14:35:45 on October 21, 2012 by g1rlie
I'm REALLY trying not to...    
"Not successful 100% yet. :("
posted at 14:36:21 on October 21, 2012 by g1rlie
Not liking this but...    
"Set up my email to automatically delete and not deliver to me any emails he sends to me. Ouch. I feel like I may die, but I guess it is worth it, even if I do die...

OUCH!"
posted at 15:06:40 on October 21, 2012 by g1rlie
you will get exactly what is fair    
"And what the Lord thinks. For women disfellowshipment and excommunication is about the same consequence. At least one year without sacrament or callings. If you aren't doing better then longer. I guess with excommunication, you cant pay tithing. Wear the garment. And your LDS apps stop working so forget looking up your ward members address. Your name isn't removed from the ward directory unless you ask it to be. So no way for others to tell you are excommunicated.

Guys have to wait at least another year and approved by first presidency to get temple blessings restored. This usually takes much longer.and your name falls off the elders quorum rolls so its obvious what happened.



My bishop and stk president both said "don't assume excommunication". That gave me false hope and in my opinion, bad for an addicted brain that can twist anything into anything.

If you have temple covenants, I would assume you will get excommunicated and if it doesn't happen, unexpected bonus. That ail prepare your mind better. Imho.

Accept whatever as a mild consequence of your actions and work hard on recovery.

-hurt"
posted at 21:46:53 on October 21, 2012 by Anonymous


Add a Comment:


***Anonymous User***     (login above to post UN-anonymously)








help
join
"In recent years, as I have sung the hymns of the Atonement, it has been with an especially full heart—and also with full voice, when I can continue to sing—lines such as “How great thou art,” “I scarce can take it in,” “To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,” “I stand all amazed,” and “Oh, it is wonderful!”"

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987